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How do I broach TV with my minder?

(22 Posts)
Cuppatea14 Sun 29-May-16 22:14:14

We are new to the nanny thing, having previously always used nurseries. When we first met her we mentioned that we weren't keen on a lot of television during the day (kids are 4 and 1.5) . The 4 year old goes to Montessori in the morning, and the minder has said that she is tired when she gets home so she lets her watch 20 mins TV in the afternoon, which is more than I'd like, but she is a fairly wired kid so I can understand it. But the other day my Dd was walking me through her afternoon and said 'when we get home, 'minder' watches her news, and then we watch the baby programmes for 'little sister' and then I get to watch my programmes', and then 'minder' makes us switch it off'. I didn't react but am very taken aback. Now DD is known for telling tall tales so o don't want to barge in accusing all sorts, but she said it in such a matter of fact manner that I'm inclined to believe her... How do I broach this? I am terrible and massively awkward about this type of thing.

ThisFenceIsComfy Sun 29-May-16 22:17:15

Umm. Twenty minutes is not a lot of TV really. But you are paying her to look after your kids by your rules.

How about a friendly word? Just that you'd been thinking about screen time as they grow up and you think that x amount of time is as much as you'd like.

Cuppatea14 Sun 29-May-16 22:28:51

No I agree, I am fine with 20 mins if that's all it is, but from what DD was saying, the TV goes on when she gets home from monty and stays on til I'm due home, which is too much, no? Or am I neurotic?

gamerchick Sun 29-May-16 22:30:41

Yeah a bit but they're your rules and she's ignored them.

Xmasbaby11 Sun 29-May-16 22:31:07

It's not clear how long she was actually watching tv. I'd wait and see what she says on other days and then ask the cm in a non accusatory way.

Cuppatea14 Sun 29-May-16 22:56:36

Curious to hear how much time other people feel is ok to have the TV on for under fives? I'm so used to the kids being in the nursery where there was none, maybe I am way off what is reasonable.

TeaBelle Sun 29-May-16 22:59:28

Did is 18 months and I let her self limit. She can watch it if she wants, if she's not interested then we turn it off. She very rarely watches 100% - she generally listens for theme tunes so she can dance to them but plays with her toys too

RicStar Mon 30-May-16 07:01:56

I am relaxed about my two watching more than that probably more like an hour and half split into 3 or 4 chunks..during the day but my nanny never watches her own tv and watches much less with them that I do and only watches tv if its actual watching do with nanny maybe 30mins for part of ds nap. So he gets no tv. Nanny has a cup of tea and tidy up from lunch. Generally in the summer she takes them to the park after ds nap (he is nearly 2) which is 3 mins walk for us. Is there something/s you can / have suggested she does in this slot instead?

howiloveanicecupoftea Mon 30-May-16 07:59:45

20 minutes is more than you'd like??? Is your baby allowed no down time all day? Seriously if 20 minutes is considered "too much" then you're basically saying they can't watch to at all. What are your concerns about your kids watching tv exactly?

Cuppatea14 Mon 30-May-16 08:09:08

If DD watches a lot of television we see a big change in her behaviour, it puts her in foul humour. I am fine with 20 mins in the afternoon and then she has another half hour after dinner, and I think that's plenty.

poocatcherchampion Mon 30-May-16 08:11:57

We don't watch any TV routinely . Books are good down time or colouring for older ones.

I think your children your rules.

Our nanny has occasionally had the telly on but can't figure out how to get it working mostly and I am not about to teach her. I don't pay her to sit them in front of it.

howiloveanicecupoftea Mon 30-May-16 08:24:52

Sorry I meant nanny not baby!!

ScarletOverkill Mon 30-May-16 08:35:51

Your DD'S description to you could still cover only 20 minutes TV time. There are no time frames in it.
The nanny/minder could be watching the news channel so it could be a while.
Then the children have their 20 minutes.
What are the children doing while the news is on?
If the 4 year old is playing can the minder/nanny not have the news on in the background while dealing with the baby?

Karoleann Mon 30-May-16 08:39:26

I'm not a big telly fan either, and we've had the same issue with 2 nannies before.
Its fairly easy to broach, don't make it a big thing..something along the lines of " Can I just check that DD is only watching 20 minutes of TV after nursery, we don't want the TV on for anything else during the day".
That should sort it out, you don't need to mention that DD has said anything.

Alternatively, you could just hide the remote!

DebCee Mon 30-May-16 09:02:41

We limited our kid's TV when they were younger and I was always pissed off when they had a DVD at nursery - which wasn't often - because I relied on the TV slot to get stuff done.

I hated it when people have the TV on all the time as background noise and kids just half watched it and half did other stuff. I liked my kids to either be properly watching or not watching at all.

If I was paying someone to look after my children, I'd feel that having the TV on was "cheating" - I'm not paying you to use the electronic babysitter. But a big part of that annoyance would be that they'd used up the electronic babysitter that I wanted to use later on!!

Basically - TV is not particularly beneficial for children, it's more beneficial to the adult who gets a bit of free time. We all take short cuts from time to time - but I'm not paying for someone else to take short cuts!

LIZS Mon 30-May-16 09:10:33

Given how short programmes for under 5s can be you could easily fit that I to 20 mins. If you don't want news etc on then you need to tell your nanny but does she otherwise get a break? What do you do on days you have done the nursery run or her day off.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Mon 30-May-16 09:42:12

I am a nanny and have 2 dc. Until very recently the eldest had no TV at all. But we are slowly allowing some. Some cbeebies shows are 7 minutes long some are shorter and some are as you know much longer. Ifor dc1 was only allowed to watch 20 minutes of TV then she could watch 3 episodes of something. Generally this week she has had 1 5 minute episode about 9am when I'm trying to get her and baby sibling out the door. Baby into pram outside etc so that I know where she is and she doesn't make a big mess.

Why not ask her what shows dd is watching?

Callaird Tue 31-May-16 20:36:36

I'm a nanny to a 2.5 year old. He rarely watches to during the day, however today the weather was so dire, we went splashing in puddles for an hour, did an hour of crafts (MB's birthday card, DB's Father's Day card, small present for them both and restocked our supply of cards for any occasion!) made bread and put the Ocado shop away, he then watched 2 episodes of Bob the Builder while I sorted his lunch.

He almost always has 20 minutes of tv after tea if he's eaten well (it's a good incentive) while I tidy up after tea, unload the dishwasher and fold any laundry that needs sorting. His parents are happy with this, he does watch more with them and I have always told employers that I won't be the bad guy, if they don't want them to do/have things, that's fair enough but if they tell me they can't do/have something then give it to them during their time with the children and then the children gets upset/cross with me because I say no is not fair on me.

I don't watch tv when my charge is around but he sleeps 2/2.5 at lunch time and I will watch tv while I'm ironing/eating lunch/have no jobs to do or I read a book. Some days I have 2.5 hours of free time while he naps! Other days I don't get time to sit down to eat lunch, it all evens out in the end.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees Tue 31-May-16 21:02:12

I was a nanny for 4 very busy little boys. They weren't allowed to watch any TV, we coped ok. If they needed quiet time we read stories, do colouring books, sticker books or similar.
You are the parent, you make the rules if you don't want the kids to watch tv then just say.

jannier Wed 01-Jun-16 11:29:43

Why not ask the nanny what channel and programmes they watch then have a look at the schedule and see if you like them then discuss how many actual programmes are suitable/wanted your money your rules. It does sound like the 2 sessions would fit inside 20 mins though. Don't forget children have a different concept of time and list of what they do all day to reality and if tv is limited that can be what they did today as they remember it.

I don't watch news around young children as you don't know what will be on or how upsetting id rather prepare them if anything big has gone on than us stumble upon it together.

Ladybirdturd Fri 03-Jun-16 20:02:44

Do you have a nanny or do you use a child minder?

YourHandInMyHand Sun 12-Jun-16 22:47:53

Which is it, nanny or childminder?

A nanny you employ and can dictate to as their boss.

A childminder is self employed and works how he/she chooses to run their setting/household. They generally mind for more than one family and balance the needs of the group of children as a whole.

I'd just have a chat with them either way and say you want to clarify what sorts of times have been part of the routine so far and then go from there.

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