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Nanny slipping in her duties

(22 Posts)
Believeitornot Thu 12-May-16 07:05:07

We've had a nanny, the same nanny for a number of years. She had maternity leave and we allowed her to bring her own child with her.
I've noticed very gradually that she is slipping in her duties. She doesn't tidy the children's bedrooms, she doesn't tidy up the toys properly, things are being damaged by her toddler but she does not even offer to replace or even acknowledge (eg I saw him chewing one of the DCs books, he's ripped books etc, normal toddler behaviour). I'm getting increasingly annoyed as I've mentioned things (reminding her to tidy), but after a brief improvement it always slips back again.

I'm just venting really as I know I need to talk to her but I would be interested to hear in people's experiences of this sort of thing - have they been able to improve their nanny's behaviour or is it time to let her go...?

OP’s posts: |
holeinmyheart Thu 12-May-16 07:27:40

I think you and your Nanny are 'done' . Familiarity has bred contempt. You either have to sit down with her and haul her over the coals or let her go.
As you have allowed her to bring her own child, I think her focus will be on them, not your child. She is paid to look after your child after all.
I don't think you can go back. I think you have to sack her. Mmmm

FishWithABicycle Thu 12-May-16 07:40:54

Are you paying her the same salary now that you did before she had mat leave? It's normal for a NWOC to be paid a little less.

If salary unchanged - go ahead and give her notice, and don't agree to a NWOC arrangement again.

If salary was reduced then you are being unreasonable. None of this is a big deal. No one normal really cares that much if a child's book is a bit chewed on the corners unless it's a presentation-giftboxed-keepsake edition of a classic. The nanny having less time for non-core childcare tasks (e.g. tidying) is part of the reason why a NWOC is usually cheaper.

Believeitornot Thu 12-May-16 08:12:33

I think you're right holeinmyheart! I just feel a bit guilty about it.

Salary did not get reduced. And actually we discussed and agreed that bringing her own child would not mean a reduction in duties. All I ask is for the beds to be made and some tidying. It is inconsistent - sometimes she does it sometimes she doesn't with no apparent rhyme or reason.
And actually I do care if books are ripped and chewed - especially when there's no acknowlegement or apology.
If in my job I feel I cannot carry out my duties, I would flag this to my boss. I expect the same courtesy - she was adamant she'd be fine and every time I ask her how things are she claims she's coping fine. I just need that hard conversation to say, that from my perspective, she isn't.

OP’s posts: |
FishWithABicycle Thu 12-May-16 08:29:39

Well as salary didn't get reduced and you agreed no reduction in duties I think it's perfectly reasonable to recruit someone new. You have every right to expect the service you stated that you wanted and are paying for.

bluecarpet Thu 12-May-16 09:32:48

Salary did not get reduced.

she maybe thinks you're a soft touch then as it's very unusual for no salary reduction in exchange from bringing her own child. you need a frank discussion.

holeinmyheart Thu 12-May-16 10:34:50

Gosh it is hard though. I struggled with employees who just turned out to be slobs. I have learned to be much harder.
Yes I am privileged to be in a position to employ anyone and I am very very grateful, but I the money that I pay with is hard earned. It doesn't just fall into my lap.
You have rights believeitornot just as they have.

Just repeat.....' I have rights to have a good job done , as that it what WE agreed to.'
She had a choice.

bluecarpet Thu 12-May-16 10:45:15

did you put in writing that the right to bring her own child is to be reviewed every 6 months or so? if not, you need to add that to her contract.

Karoleann Thu 12-May-16 11:44:15

Believe - if she has been with you for more than 2 years you're not allowed to just sack her unless she is guilty of gross misconduct. Most standard nanny contracts have a disciplinary route which must be taken before you can sack her. Usually this is a verbal warning, written warning and a final written warning.

info here:
Its obviously time for the written warning you've already ask her verbally to improve Which you need put in writing both the failure to carry out nursery duties and the failure to protect your belongings. You can tell her that in future you'll expect her to pay for any damage.

Alternatively, if you have written in her contract that bringing her son to work is up for review you could just give her notice that she is not allowed to bring her son to work any more. You cannot just change her contract without her agreement.

Another alternative would to move to an alternative form of childcare and then you would have to make her redundant and pay the redundancy pay.

Believeitornot Thu 12-May-16 20:25:18

I would not just sack her, of course not. I would make her redundant - I'll check if this is an option and be able to employ another nanny.

To be honest, I'd hope that a serious discussion would be enough.

I've not included anything about bringing her child in her contract - it had not occurred to me!

OP’s posts: |
WhereTheFigawi Thu 12-May-16 20:39:51

You can't make her "redundant" if you plan to employ another nanny (assuming new nanny has broadly similar conditions). Redundancy is not a way to dismiss someone without following the proper procedures - that's called unfair dismissal. If the role is not in fact redundant you have to go down the disciplinary route as outlined by a previous poster.

Toomanycats99 Thu 12-May-16 20:44:12

Believe it. Definition of redundancy is when a job ceases to exist at least in the same form. If you were to make her redundant and then employ as new nanny I believe she could take you to court.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 12-May-16 20:46:28

Where is correct.

You need to have a serious discussion,do you have appraisals? If not maybe start having monthly ones which then go to 6monthly ones so you can keep a check on things.

Does she / you keep a diary? Buy a big one that can be kept in the kitchen and you can write things you'd like to be done in there.

Get that sorted and you won't feel so pissed off about a few ripped books which is par for the course with toddlers.

Karoleann Thu 12-May-16 21:52:17

No, I'm afraid you can't make her redundant and then employ another nanny, but you could change to an au pair/live-in nanny or childminder (but you would need to offer her that job first).
I'd have that "serious discussion" but call it a written warning and so at least if you do need to sack her you have some legal redress.

Dame - it is the nannies child that is destroying things rather than the OPs and that isn't on.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 12-May-16 22:38:17

Have a chat with her first

Mention that nursery duties aren't getting done

If need be write in a note

Give a month. If no improvement then suggest it's too much having her own child there as well

What age is he and yours?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 12-May-16 23:21:42

Yes, I realise it's the nannie's child who is ripping the books.

Believeitornot Fri 13-May-16 09:40:35

Ok thanks all!

OP’s posts: |
nannynick Fri 13-May-16 11:04:59

Have regular performance reviews so you can go down the disciplinary route. Make it very clear that improvements are needed, what they need to do, timescale and then review if they have improved or not.

bluecarpet Fri 13-May-16 13:35:44

yes, you need to do it right
your payroll company should be able to advise you, if not then a quick chat with an employment lawyer will be money well spent

AllTheUsernamesAreTaken3 Wed 18-May-16 13:31:31

I've never employed or been a nanny, but given the nature of the job, I think "hauling her over the coals" would pretty much do in any working relationship you have. If you've asked her nicely and she hasn't responded, I think your suggestion of "redundancy" might be the best way to go.

I look after my 2 yr old grand-daughter. Her mother's friends are always asking if I'd like to mind their children as well ("someone for her to play with! Easier for you!") and I decline because I don't believe I'd feel the same way for their children as I do my GD. I wonder if this is sometimes the case with NWOC situations.

Would your children be very upset to lose her?

ExConstance Wed 18-May-16 13:35:53

I have the rare distinction of having kept the same person looking after my children for 11 years. She was live in to begin with, live out after she got married and then registered as a child minder and had my two in the school holidays once she had her own baby. The working relationship evolved and although she lives abroad now we our two families remain close. Any chance of your nanny being a child minder at her home?

happytoday6 Fri 27-May-16 23:02:13

Before you decide to get rid of nanny who has been looking after your children for several years , please consider the effect this may have on your children. I would try everything else suggested by posters to solve the issues around housework. After all the children's happiness comes first I'm sure. Good luck with it all

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