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Inviting nanny to christening?

(23 Posts)
RabbitRabbit1 Sun 17-Jan-16 22:06:37

We adore our nanny and she has been with us since DD was 6 months - she's now almost a year and we are only just getting found to getting her christened. I would like to invite her to our (very small) christening - grandparents and godparents only, but just wanted to sanity check this with others/especially the nanny community. I don't want her to feel obliged to come on a weekend as she works a 60 hour week for us already, or for her to buy a gift. The other alternative is not inviting her to avoid this (we'd love to have her there) but I'm worried we might offend her. Any thoughts? Bday party we'd obviously invite... But christening? TIA!

OP’s posts: |
DontBuyANewMumCashmere Sun 17-Jan-16 22:10:04

Someone I know had their doula at their DCs christening!
I'd say ask her, and say you're aware it'll be her day off and understand if she has plans but that you'd hate to exclude her by not inviting her.

Rinceoir Sun 17-Jan-16 22:12:51

I would definitely invite, but make it clear she's not expected to be on duty and that it's completely optional.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sun 17-Jan-16 22:15:02

Invite her and explain that it would be nice to have her there (as a guest) however you totally understand if she's already made plans etc.

I was invited to my charges 1st birthday (big family and friends event) had been there from 4 months but I was busy had I not been busy I may have popped in for a bit smile

BIWI Sun 17-Jan-16 22:15:41

Lovely to invite her, but make sure

a) she knows she doesn't have to come
b) if she comes, she isn't going to be on duty

RabbitRabbit1 Sun 17-Jan-16 22:15:51

Ok great, thanks both! that was my plan anyway so will go with it. She can always find a reason not to come and would obviously not get her to do any kind of childcare!

OP’s posts: |
NannyNim Sun 17-Jan-16 22:17:20

As a nanny I would say invite her if you want her there but as others have said, make sure she understands that, as it is a weekend, she will be a guest and not on duty if she chooses to come. It's that she has become a part of the family so quickly!

RabbitRabbit1 Sun 17-Jan-16 22:18:57

Great thanks all! Yes. I just want her to come and have a nice meal with us all really as we consider her to be part of the family - she also spends more time with DD than I do... confusedcue conflicted mum moment kicking in!

OP’s posts: |
Hellochicken Sun 17-Jan-16 22:26:47

I didn't invite ours and we love her, she had been with us 18 months. We only had gps, aunts/uncles/ cousins / couple of friends.
Personally I feel although it is not a normal job she is still my "employee" and the rest are relatives/friends.
On the other hand it wouldn't harm to ask as long as you are not pressurising/expecting her to go!

RabbitRabbit1 Sun 17-Jan-16 22:39:02

Chicken - there was part of me that thought that too. We adore her and yes given DD and I aren't even inviting our own siblings (nothing weird just don't want a big 'do') I did think perhaps we wouldn't... That said the downside of not inviting her would be that she's offended if we didn't (which I'd hate to happen) - so that's part of the motivation - but she's also wonderful too...

OP’s posts: |
Yerazig Mon 18-Jan-16 07:23:01

I've been invited once. It's nice to feel appreciated by the family and shows how special she is to you guys. I would invite and make it clear she's there as a guest.

Callaird Tue 19-Jan-16 13:08:54

I've been to most of my charges christenings (and a couple of my bosses weddings!) I'm a nanny who likes to be treated like family.

It's lovely to be invited. Especially as you are having quite a small do. But do reiterate that she is not obliged to go at all.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 19-Jan-16 13:12:18

Oh yes invite her!

My DC are 16 and 12 now but the nanny we had when DD1 was new born and worked for me for 8 years is still one of my closest friends and a massive positive influence in the DCs' lives - we all love her like family. Glad to hear you've found a good one too!

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 19-Jan-16 13:17:34

Def invite - she is part of your family as such as looks as dd 60hrs a week - but as others said make it clear that she comes as a guest but that if busy:has plans you understand if she can't come

I've always been invited to birthday parties :christenings etc at weekends in perm jobs and even in some temp jobs - tho I don't always go depends on date etc

Goingtobeawesome Tue 19-Jan-16 13:19:20

If you want her there, invite her and stop over thinking it.

Brixhambelle Tue 19-Jan-16 22:52:06

Well I've ended up as godparent to several of my charges, I loved to be invited to christenings/ birthdays/ weddings.

jendot2 Wed 20-Jan-16 08:02:44

As a nanny I would be offended not to be invited. Your dd will mean the world to your nanny and vice versa and she will want to be part of her special days wherever possible. I'm amazed people don't invite their nannies!

Goingtobeawesome Wed 20-Jan-16 17:09:42

I nannied for a child who had a naming ceremony shortly before I started. I was disappointed for a minute then got over myself and realised it was a family and friends event. I hadn't even started work. Just done a couple of short visits. It meant nothing. I looked after the child for four years and they had big roles in my wedding.

wonderpants Wed 20-Jan-16 17:17:58

I would invite her partner/ bf if she has one if she has time after a 60 hour week

alibubbles Sat 23-Jan-16 15:41:02

I have been to several of my childminded children's christenings and my teens were asked if they would like to be paid servers for the buffet. I had a great time there and the families loved meeting the person who cared for the child and my children were delighted with some extra cash. Win win all round!

Luckygirlcharlie Sun 24-Jan-16 11:29:03

Definitely invite her and as PPs have said make it really clear that it's absolutely up to her, invite her partner and as soon as she gets to the party make sure she has a drink etc and knows she's not expected to do anything but enjoy. This is how we did it for DS1s birthday and will be doing for D2s Christening.

toastedbeagle Sun 24-Jan-16 13:36:18

My nanny came to both mine and my sister's weddings. I wasn't christened as a baby but I'd assume my parents would have invited her to that too.

SewButtons Tue 26-Jan-16 22:44:45

I was invited to my charges christening and I was so touched to be asked to go. My boyfriend was invited as well but he had to work, mb told me I was welcome to bring a friend or my sister if I wanted instead but I just went with other MB (i work a nanny share) I also knew their NCT friends from playdates and such so had plenty people to talk to.
It was lovely to meet all of my charges family and even though it was his day I felt really special as both of his grandma's and his godmum took me off at different points in the day to tell me how happy MB has been since I had started and how lovely it was.

I was really really happy to be invited (mb said that it was a day for his family and I was part of that- I nearly cried) but equally I wouldn't have been offended if I hadn't been invited.

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