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Have not clicked with new au pair

(6 Posts)
espressotogo Fri 15-Jan-16 09:38:31

We have had au pairs for the last three years. It works well for us and we have had great experiences and are still in touch with most of our previous girls. Our new au pair arrived last week and I am really struggling with her. She has a very sullen demeanour, does not acknowledge people when they greet her - DP came in last night and said hello to her and she blanked him - she did the same to one of our friends who popped round. She does the housework she is asked to (we have a schedule) and is OK with the kids but I just can't click with her and its making me miserable and uncomfortable in my own house. I have put a lot of effort into talking to her and taking her food shopping for food she likes, to get her bus pass etc but am now fed up with not getting anything back. We did Skype beforehand and she was a bit hard work but she is a friend of our last au pair who was lovely so I made allowances - should have trusted my instincts - Is it unreasonable to ask her to go after one week ? I don't think she is shy or homesick I think its just the way she is.

sephineee Fri 15-Jan-16 13:56:24

I think that you should sit her down and explain what the issue is and to what extent it is bothering you. Ask if there is anything else she needs done to help make her happier.

Explain that if things don't change you wont be able to see the contract through and will have to change childcare plans.

That would be the policy with a 'normal' employee so I guess should work here. These stories don't help my phobia of the live in childcare option!!

Good luck

Karoleann Fri 15-Jan-16 13:58:27

Since she'd not actually done anything wrong, I would personally give it another couple of weeks.

I would also ask have a chat to her and see if she is happy, it may just be something small like being too cold or worried about speaking English that is making her a little uncommunicative.

She may just be one of those people who take a while to warm up to others.

Salmiak Fri 15-Jan-16 14:07:10

Have a chat with her to see if she's homesick, worried about the language, etc. Ask her how she feels she's settling in, and then gently guide the conversation depending on her answer. If she's not happy then see if there is anything either of you can do to cheer her up and improve things, if she says she's settled well then talk about how you like to have a happy atmosphere in the house and blanking dh etc makes things awkward. Let her know what your expectations are.

Give yourself a time limit of 2 weeks - if things haven't improved then pay for her flight home.

AnotherTimeMaybe Fri 15-Jan-16 14:19:52

That not greeting thing would be an issue for me too!
I'd personally try to challenge her a bit more in the sense that if a friend comes in again and she doesn't say hi, I'd make a point !! This way she will know what your expectations as and she might try to make an effort ! Cause that's her problem she makes no effort!!

Fugghetaboutit Fri 15-Jan-16 14:25:18

Well she has done something wrong, she's rude for starters. Blanking people and being miserable for no reason is bloody rude.
I'd probably sit her down and say if the attitude doesn't become more pleasant and positive she can leave. I would hate someone like that looking after my kids.

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