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au pair lied about small car accident

(4 Posts)
np409 Wed 02-Dec-15 11:05:31

My au pair drives our car. She is sensible, kind the kids love her and whilst she is not perfect she is ok and we are fairly happy with her.
yesterday she came home with kids after school pickup and said when returning to car with kids she saw someone had knocked the wing mirror.
It was easily fixed in the garage so not a big deal, but we have a car port and my husband noticed a mark on the gate of it at the point where the wing mirror might have hit it. He happened to be working from home and heard a bang just before the kids and au pair came in to the house and when I casually asked my daughter if she knew what happened to the car, she told us exactly what we suspected - that the au pair had hit the mirror as she reversed into the carport.
I have no issue with minor accidents like this - thankfully she is actually careful and safe with the kids and no one was hurt.
However she has lied to avoid being blamed and I feel I need to call her out on this but should I just let it go? I can appreciate the easy option is to say it was someone else that did it so I can see why she did but I don't want her to think it is ok to be untruthful.
Any advice?

patterkiller Wed 02-Dec-15 11:16:53

Maybe she has past experience of being berated for minor accidents. My DDad was a tyrant and terrified us for things like this. Years ago DH was horrified that I was so scared to tell him if a minor scratch on our shared car.

Maybes just explain you know how it happened and in future the truth is always the best option and is what's expected from her.

Karoleann Wed 02-Dec-15 13:06:27

I would just let it go TBH, if you mention it and say its not a bit deal, she may well not be careful with the car in the future.

Hopefully its just a one off.

INeedNewShoes Wed 02-Dec-15 13:12:06

I would speak to her and say, 'Look, I know what actually happened to the car. You needn't have been scared to tell me about it. I'm not angry and it's best for everyone that you feel you can tell me when there are incidents'.

It's not that the car mirror is important; it's that it is so important that she is honest with you if something 'little' happens that affects your children.

I was an au pair. My employer was very easily disappointed by silly little things, but I still told her when I did things wrong.

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