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have I been home caring for two long is there any proof that nursery helps your child development

(19 Posts)
feb14mum Tue 21-Jul-15 19:59:35

were looking at nursery for our daughter who is 18 months. We've had some quotes and we think their rather expensive.
We want to know what the benefits are of getting her into a nursery she would only be going for one morning a week.

At the moment husband works mon -friday and I look after her . I work sat and Sunday and he has her. It does seem silly to waste money on the nursery when he is available to have her. If we decide to put her in I would change my shifts so the morning she goes in example Wednesday I would go to work which then gives me a day off at weekend for our family time which at the moment we don't get any off only on evenings when he's home from work for few hours. plus I think it will do her good to have a break from bring wiwith me constantly.

I'm really in two minds about putting her In I think it will do her social skills good but can I justify the money for it when we have just bought a house and needs work doing on it ect. its her speech mainly will it improve that. will she gain more confidence. will she be a bit more out there as although she's not shy she always seems to be the one sitting back in things and waits for other kids to get their toys and things like that. I do currently take her to 2-3 playgroup and activy sessions a week so we do get social skills ffrom them but she always has me near.

is your child in nursery have you noticed a difference. I'm wanting something I can read and show to my husband that yes it will make a difference

Tonicandgin Tue 21-Jul-15 20:06:33

My toddler (21 months) goes to nursery 2 mornings a week. I genuinely don't know whether that has helped or, or whether she's just grown up. I think it's hard to separate the two.

2 mornings a week isn't much and she's shy like yours so I was hoping it helps her. But in all honesty I'm not convinced it makes any difference. If she's alongside other children she sits back too, but that's her personality. Ultimately, if you go to toddler groups I don't personally think you need nursery from a developmental perspective at this age.

However, if you're looking at it to give yourself a break I'd do it. I've also found it invaluable when we've had family emergencies and funerals and because she's settled in nursery then we can book in an extra session and I know she'll be happy. She loves it and can't get out the door quick enough on nursery mornings!

cosmicglittergirl Tue 21-Jul-15 20:08:09

I put my DD1 into nursery at 12 months for two mornings a week for two reasons, one to give me a break and secondly to allow her to socialise and try different activities in groups and with different adults.
I would personally say there has been a difference as now she is talking (22 months), she knows things I have not told her and songs I don't know. She mentions nursery children with pleasure and her eating has got a lot better which I think is from eating with others. I am pleased with her confidence in a group situation and I like the fact she gets to do some activities I am less keen on (corn flour, shaving foam type thing) due to the mess. I think it's worth the money, especially now I have a 4 month old and are more tired.

eeyore12 Wed 22-Jul-15 07:01:16

Def worth the money. We have sent out little boy 2 mornings from just after he was two (most nurseries will have a min of two sessions a week required to help your child settled better) we didn't need to send him as I am a nanny and he comes to work with me so see/plays with other children then. But I felt it was important he mixed with a bigger group of children around his own age as well as getting used to being cared for by people other than ourselves or his grandparents. His confidence has come on lots, we recently went away to a caravan park with evening children's entertainment which he happily joined in on his own away from us which I know if he didn't go to nursery he wouldn't of done. He does still play lots by himself at nursery but that is just his age and personality, he is becoming more involved with the other children and has learnt to share and play along side other children nicely. He loves it there and would happily go every day I think, we will be increasing his time there over the next two years ready for the long school days (will end up doing two full days and 1 half day a week before school).

If it also means you get family time then again do it, family time is the most important time esp when they are so little, make the most of it and enjoy seeing her grow/develop and learn new things together as a family.

Karoleann Wed 22-Jul-15 07:51:51

I don't think one morning a week would help, it would be quite difficult for her to settle in (we did one full day a week for DS2 and it took him a while to settle).

My three started really enjoying a pre-school/nursery session at around 2.5.

However, I do think having a day a week at the weekend as a family is a really good idea. I'd recommend waiting until she's 2 and then doing a couple of sessions at a pre-school which is much cheaper.

bobajob Wed 22-Jul-15 07:58:29

There is some evidence that high quality nursery after the age of 2 benefits children's cognitive development. The longer time in months the more the benefit, rather than the more hours per week e.g.. 15 hours a week for two years is better than 30 hours for 1 year.

There's also evidence that nursery is the least positive form of childcare for children under 18 months-2ish, after parents, grandparents, nanny and childminder. Nursery offers more activities, but less positive adult interactions (which is the most important thing for babies).

Athenaviolet Wed 22-Jul-15 08:09:34

I had one DC who went to nursery full time from 1 year and another who just did the 15 hours from age 3.

The nursery DC has done much better academically and socially at school than the non nursery DC. I really believe that toddlers need the social stimulation, peer play, independence from parents, sharing skills, access to a huge range of toys etc that only a nursery environment can provide. I feel like my non nursery DC really missed out and there's nothing I can do to compensate for that now years down the line.

In your situation she is also missing out on while family days at the weekend which isn't ideal either.

One morning a week isn't enough. For a start most nurseries won't provide less than 3 sessions (1 1/2 days) anyway. Other DCs will be there every day so she'll be an outsider if she's only there for 6 hours out of 50.

If I were you I'd change my work to 2 full days during the week, put her in nursery those days and have fun family weekends all together.

BlackandGold Wed 22-Jul-15 08:34:09

If the Nursery has a minimum of two sessions then why not change your working day to one of the sessions so you have one day free for family time at the weekends plus you will also have a spare few hours in the week for yourself, when you can get your hair cut, dentist etc done in peace.

NoelEdmondsHighFlyingTurds Wed 22-Jul-15 08:39:36

How about a childminder? Cheaper than nursery but you still get the interaction with other children and different activities/stimulus to what you'd have at home.

mrsplum2015 Wed 22-Jul-15 13:44:26

I would definitely do it. No major benefit to your dd imo but it won't harm her and having regular family time is so important, it's what breeds the good relationships and memories.

AvocadoLime Wed 22-Jul-15 14:28:26

I know some will disagree, but I think that secure attachments in small settings (nanny, childminder or a proactive SAHP) are generally the best for under approx 2.5 years. After that I think there are more benefits of social interaction, but attachment is still important. I am a childminder so I don't have to but I will probably send my son for a couple of mornings when he is a pre schooler for the social interaction, but I wouldn't be concerned for him academically if he stayed with me, because I would feel like I was sort of home schooling him through preschool, IYSWIM.

AvocadoLime Wed 22-Jul-15 14:32:12

Bobajob There's also evidence that nursery is the least positive form of childcare for children under 18 months-2ish, after parents, grandparents, nanny and childminder.

Do you have a link to that research? I'd be interested to read it. smile

bobajob Wed 22-Jul-15 14:54:28

I don't, but it was Penelope Leach - should be possible to find it.

tatumsfunkychicken Wed 22-Jul-15 14:56:33

2 threads?

tatumsfunkychicken Wed 22-Jul-15 14:57:25

Avocado, the link is on the other thread.

RiverTam Wed 22-Jul-15 14:59:02

I think the benefit would be twofold - firstly for your DD, and secondly got your family - at present your set up means you have no family time at all. I couldn't live like that if there was another option open.

One morning a week seems a bit pointless though. DD started 2 days a week when she was 2 and it was fantastic for her.

feb14mum Wed 22-Jul-15 17:25:49

thanks for all The comments some help full some not so much. I can't up my days and I don't want to work that much anyway . also all our nurserys will allow her in one morning a week. I have something set up at work with my boss so every few weeks I get a Sunday off so we're going to have to make sure we actually do something in that time. and have some family time then.

I think she does get interactions skills from the various groups we attend and meeting our mummy friends.

at this moment in time were carrying on what I'm doing currently and hopefully when she's 3 were look into it all again as she then gets her free entitlement aswell.

HSMMaCM Wed 22-Jul-15 18:57:39

It sounds like you need it as a family more than she needs it as a child. You are already doing lots of learning activities with her. If she's a confident little soul, she maybe fine with one morning a week, but some children do struggle with that.

mrsplum2015 Thu 23-Jul-15 00:53:02

Avocadolime I totally agree with you about the importance of attachment.

Interesting though as my dc3 has definitely had a better attachment to her carer at nursery one day a week than dc 2 had to his cm three days a week. Just because it's an easier way to promote attachment doesn't mean the cm will or can facilitate that; as you know it can be a hard graft for cms, esp those who are reliant on the work for money and have a lot of children to look after.

Anyway, digressing slightly, I still think the child's needs for attachment are important but not the only issue, especially if the child has a happy and secure base at home. Having time to spend as a nuclear family and feel like you're having a bit of time out is hugely important for parents and child.

With dc3 she has been in nursery once a week from before the age of 1 even though dh works five days a week and I don't work at all. We have no family support and actually her needs have to fit in with the other four people in the family... She is a very confident, happy, secure child so it doesn't seem to be harming her.

Op it sounds like you have made a decision but there is evidence to suggest children benefit from pre school at age 3 for socialisation and preparation for school so I would definitely revisit it then.

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