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How best to address this with nanny

(4 Posts)
Tittletattletoo Thu 16-Jul-15 10:12:53

I was wondering if anyone ( nannies in particular) has any advice on how best to talk to my nanny about something.

Our nanny has been with us for nearly two years and we get on very well. She is now 5 months pregnant. She is finding pregnancy a bit of a shock I think - I don't think she expected to feel so tired etc. As a result she has become very unreliable ( often 45 mins late in the morning with no warning ( I have already moved start time an hour later to give her a shorter day), ending early at short notice etc). She is also letting things go quite a lot with my DD which is starting to impact her behaviour as she gets her own way all the time, is given sweets etc. She no longer cleans up after her and doesn't really cook for her anymore ( she has pasta for lunch and dinner or fishfingers every day).

I'm really sympathetic as I know how difficult pregnancy can be, but it is getting to the stage where she isn't really doing her job. I've tried to address things, set stuff up to make things easier for her etc, but it doesn't seem to improve. I'm on my own and suffer from PND and anxiety so know that I could probably deal with things better but I find the unreliability in particular really hard to deal with. It's also starting to really cause problems for me at work - my boss is sympathetic but only to a point and I hate not being able to do my job properly.

I have found someone who will cover her mat leave, who could start doing 3 days a week now. I would continue paying my existing nanny ( so she would effectively get three paid days off a week and work 2). I'm thinking I would find this a lot easier as then at least is know three days a week I could definitely get to work on time, the house would be tidy, dishes done etc. I have enough savings to cover this until her mat leave ( we have a long holiday planned for nearly a month anyway).

I am worried though that my current nanny is going to be very upset by this suggestion and I'm really struggling to think how I can discuss it without it sounding like a criticism of her? I don't want to make her feel worse when she is already struggling with being pregnant. Does anyone have any suggestions at all?

cansu Thu 16-Jul-15 17:32:12

I really would not do this. You need however to speak to your nanny about being reliable. Many pregnant women get to work on time. Being 45 mins late regularly is taking the piss. I think I would sit down with her and tell her that you have noticed she is struggling with doing her job and ask her what the problems are and see if you can come to an agreement about what she will and won't be able to do during the day. She might say she would like to reduce her hours, see how it goes, but don't offer to pay for another nanny for three days a week - that is madness!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 16-Jul-15 17:46:19

A very lovely guesture but not needed - you sound a lovely employer

I agree that your nanny is taking the piss. 45 mins late is wrong !!!!

Pregnant or not you need to address this asap

EatSleepWorkRepeat Thu 16-Jul-15 18:15:16

I don't know anything about nannies specifically, but is it the same as any other employment? If so, employers do have a duty to risk assess and identify if existing duties are too much during pregnancy, and periods of sickness, etc, can't be counted against the employee in the same way as they would otherwise. It may be that your nanny is struggling to do her usual duties five days a week but would be much better doing 2 or 3 days (and therefore would make it on time, do more with your daughter, etc). Can you have a gentle honest conversation with her about how she's doing and see if she comes up with any other solutions? The risk of being hard on her (as suggested by PP, not by you) is that she could get signed off sick, and then presumably you'd struggle to cover the full 5 days with another nanny.

Good luck, I think its so tough in a situation like this where there aren't other employees to take the slack.

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