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Right time to have a baby

(12 Posts)
pinkdaffodil23 Fri 05-Jun-15 18:43:08

Hi everyone
I have been really wanting to having a baby recently, my partner would love children as well but says we have to wait until we can afford to me, which of course is logical. We both work fill time and earn an average wage nothing special but we're doing ok. The problem is I just can't stop wanting to have children, no matter how much I try switch my mind of from it. The only reason we wouldn't be able to financially is cause maternity pay is so low compared to my wage. My thinking is I would take baby to work with me and not have full maternity leave. I work as a nanny and I'm 99% sure the family would agree. I have 2.5 years left with them at least and have been with them 3 years. There children are like family to me.

My other thought as to why now would be better is when my current job ends I want to train as a teacher that's a year course so no time for having a baby then. My thoughts are more have baby now, carry on working until current job ends sept 2017 so I am still earning as much and then do teaching course and sort out childcare for little one, although I'll take a drop in wage to do teaching course.

I'm so confused on what's best but I just can't get it of my mind. Sorry for rambling any input will be greatly appreciated, please be nice smile

IAmAPaleontologist Fri 05-Jun-15 18:47:41

If you over analyse it the there will always be a reason not to then by the time you have the right house, the right job, you've paid the mortgage down enough to be able to reduce your income and all the rest of it then you are getting older and your fertility is taking a nose dive. Planing around a specific work event such as your teaching course is sensible of course, but if you try to factor everything I. Then you'll never get anywhere.

pinkdaffodil23 Fri 05-Jun-15 18:56:49

Yes your right, I don't want to plan around everything my partner is just adamant we can't afford it at the moment, where as my thinking is if I can carry on working for the forseable then it will be fine, which my current job will offer that. If it was down to being on just maternity pay I don't think we could possibly afford it. So confused. If I wait till I have done my teaching course I will be nearly 28 when I've qualified and then it probably won't be the best to qualify and have a baby straight away

eeyore12 Fri 05-Jun-15 19:04:10

Are you able to put a little away each month from now to go towards covering some of the difference between the £135 a week and your current wage when off. That's what I did, worked out exactly how much I needed to earn per month and saved the difference so when I went on Mat leave I had some in the bank to cover the difference after the first 6 weeks and had worked out how many months the saved money would cover and planned to return to work after that time period, as it turned out I managed to take 8 months off. Don't forget you will need more per month once baby arrives than before for nappies clothes milk etc but you do get child benefit which is just over £20 a week which covers the milk and nappies!!

Another thing to remember is that it could take a while to fall pregnant so no amount of planning can say when it would happen for you, so even if you start trying straight away you may end up lucky and only have 8 months to save up or it may take longer and you end up with longer to save.

The way we thought about it when trying and it wasn't happening was each month it didn't work would be another 2 weeks I could have off when it did happen (savings wise)

pinkdaffodil23 Fri 05-Jun-15 19:10:29

Makes sense encore, as you say it might happen straight away it might not. I would be more than happy to go back to work after say a month though, we're all really close and mum is always telling me to not get pregnant and leave so I'd like to think she'd keep me on after having baby. I started with them when first two children were 1 and 1 month, come September they will both be at school they are now four and 5, and they also have a 2 year old who I have pretty much had full time from a month old as mum went back to work quick.

BewilderedAndAngry Fri 05-Jun-15 19:13:40

There is never a 'right time' to have a baby.
And I say that as somebody who had mine between 37 and 44 grin

The main thing is that your DP is on board.
If so, go for it - none of know what our fertility is like until we try to use it.

I would only discuss it with your employer once you are pregnant - I employ a nanny and I would not want to know beforehand or even have to think about it.

pinkdaffodil23 Fri 05-Jun-15 19:39:09

No I wouldn't discuss with them before so fingers crossed if we did I'd be right on them taking me back

eeyore12 Fri 05-Jun-15 20:47:18

You may think you would go back after a month but you will prob find you want/need longer off. You get 90% pay for the first 6 weeks off anyway, and you don't know until baby is here if you will be lucky and get a great sleeper or if your little one would rather play at night/have colic etc so being up all night and trying to work all day may not be possible esp if you work all week. Yes I know mums do it if they have several children but it really doesn't feel the same as having to get up, dressed, you and baby sorted before getting to work, sorting them all out and finishing at what ever time then home sort baby out/dinner etc. personally I would look at/think about having at least the first three months off so poss a min of 15 weeks if you worked up till two weeks before baby arrived.

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 06-Jun-15 10:52:04

Unless very Rich there is never a good time to have a baby financially

Save now while you can and start ttc if you feel that strongly as sadly it may Take years - or it may not

pinkdaffodil23 Sat 06-Jun-15 12:56:04

Yes that's what I am thinking blondes it could happen straight away it may take ages l. If it happened straight away it would fall into the plan of take baby to work fingers crossed for first year then start teaching course. If it doesn't happen for a while my job may of come to an end buy I will of saved some money but then I might not of been in another job long or managed to do my teacher training. Been dropping hints but the last comment i had of my partner was 'we will have children within 4 years as we can't afford to yet'

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 06-Jun-15 13:26:29

You are much younger then me but I started ttc at 33 and now almost 42 and £12k spent on I've and no baby sad

Hopefully you will fall pregnant easily but you don't know

pinkdaffodil23 Sat 06-Jun-15 13:30:22

Oh no blondes fingers crossed for you that it happens soon. I'm feeling so confused I love children and have always wanted children I just don't know where this full on sudden desire to have them now has come from lol

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