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Going on holiday on AP's birthday

(16 Posts)
WonderingWillow Sun 24-May-15 04:10:03

We didn't know this was her birthday when we booked and paid as obviously we hadn't even interviewed her then. However, it turns out that 4 weeks after she gets here (Australian) it's her 21st birthday.

I've looked into booking an extra space on holiday; but spoken to the company over the phone yesterday and the only single occupancy space (would NEVER expect her to share with us!) is 40km away. So not an option, then.

We fly out on the day of her birthday. We've spoken to her about this as soon as we realised obviously, in case she felt it was too much and wanted to pull out or something. But she didn't really bat and eyelid and neither did her mum (on Skype at the time so she could meet us), and just went "oh that'll be a nice break for you DD" (she's coming via Canada to see family) and moved on.

Well we just feel terrible about it. It's only a week, and a much longed for holiday. Is there anything we can do to make it nice for her? Obviously she's going to be on full pay for the full 12 days we are off work. DH has suggested a cash gift so she can go out and treat herself, and I thought we could go to Waitrose and choose her some lovely food to fill the fridge while we are away, and a spa day. She won't know anyone here, although all the girls we've had have been very quick off the mark to get good social lives (live in London).

So does anyone have any other ideas of how we can make this a positive experience for her? Admittedly, the other girls who have been here on their birthdays haven't really spent them with us (although obviously we've had a meal and given some gifts), they've gone out on the town with their friends and had a nice time. I'm just worried it's so early on and I don't want to mar her experience.

Many thanks in advance flowers

MrsNuckyThompson Sun 24-May-15 05:30:08

I think you're very kind but completely over thinking this! She's 21, she'll be just fine.

scratchandsniff Sun 24-May-15 05:58:39

Lovely of you to be concerned and thinking about things you can do. I bet she'll have early celebration with family and friends before she leaves. However it would be nice if she had something to do on the day. What about a ticket to a see a show in the west end. I would have been quite happy to do that on my own at that age. Maybe an afternoon showing so she has the evening free in case she has made friends in those first 4 weeks And wants to go out with them. I'd leave arranging anything until the week before and probably discuss it with her in case she makes her own plans.

DiDiddlyIDi Sun 24-May-15 06:01:07

You sound lovely but are totally over thinking this, she will be totally fine!

Karoleann Sun 24-May-15 12:22:49

I really don't think she'll want to spend the day with you anyway, so I wouldn't worry about it at all. She'll be out with her new friends.

Just give her a bit of cash and a card!

DragonRojo Sun 24-May-15 16:32:24

is 21 an important birthday in her country? I am just asking because in mine, it is not. 18 is the significant one. In any case, she will be fine. She knew before she applied for the job that she would have her birthday over here.

WonderingWillow Mon 25-May-15 09:46:11

I emailed her about it and she said that she'd already had a party before she left (currently in Canada with relatives), and that her friend is in Norwich and has been there since Jan. Friend is planning on stayin close by, and they have already booked Harry Potter World!

Very pleased she's been so proactive, I must admit. How clever she is.

As long as we get along and she's a good sort, I may see if her friend would like to stay here whilst we are away, to keep her company. I'd rather they saved their money going out and having a nice time. DH suggested perhaps we could buy them both a London experience pass? You know, where they've got the big 5 attractions on with a month's validity.

Mrsderekshepard Mon 25-May-15 09:49:57

You really are over thinking it. Just leave her and her friend to it.

Reinvent1yourself Wed 27-May-15 15:47:31

You sound absolutely lovely...getting rare these days in regards to nanny/ au pair employers.
Maybe money towards a nice dinner after Harry Potter World? Or money towards buying something there if she is a big fan?

PotOfYoghurt Thu 28-May-15 00:02:27

You sound like a very thoughtful employer op.

selly24 Wed 03-Jun-15 15:09:58

Would say resist being over generous that early on as AP may not appreciate it/ home to expect more than is reasonable. Also be v clear on your house rules/ expectations 're visitors and how things should be on your return (I write as a former Mothers help / Nanny myself!)

Ebb Wed 03-Jun-15 18:11:36

You sound lovely OP I'm glad she's got something sorted. When I went to L.A Hollywood to dog sit, it was my birthday and the owners gave me a ticket to see The Lion King which was amazing. The lovely group of Americans who were sat next to me realised I was on my own, got chatting and bought me a bottle of champagne in the interval. Was lovely. It's fun having birthdays away from home. grin

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 03-Jun-15 21:42:38

'When I went to L.A Hollywood to dog sit...'

Does anyone else want to hear more about that story?! shockgrin.

Spill the beans Ebb.

Ebb Wed 03-Jun-15 22:34:00

Those were the days Outraged grin I went travelling for a year and DB gave me the number of his friends in Hollywood. No idea how they knew each other but I phoned them when I got to America and they invited me to stay in their guest annexe! How the other half live. I stayed for a couple of weeks and we got on really well. They had two cute spaniels who liked me. The couple, he was a film producer, were going to the film festival in Cannes so asked if I would consider coming back out to look after the dogs wile they were away, all expenses paid. I couldn't really say no. It was a nice change from nannying. grin The dogs were their babies.

Merrylegs Wed 03-Jun-15 22:42:02

A house to herself in London on her 21st birthday? Better hope she's not on Facebook....


<kind of>

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 05-Jun-15 21:22:33

Flying someone in to dog sit is a bit extravagant! They must have really liked you Ebb! grin

<goes off to look for dog sitting work>

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