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Advice on Aupair - do we need to give a warning? dismiss?

(7 Posts)
Mum2Pea Wed 13-May-15 10:01:13

Aupair 1 for a year. She was great. Is now a Nanny and visits monthly

Aupair 2 for 7 months, She found a permanent job in her degree area and left after 7 weeks notice everything amicable.
This is just to give you some background that I believe we have had good placements previously

So Aupair 3 joined us first week of March.
1.A requirement is that she speaks to the girls in Spanish. I have now reminded her 3 times and she still fails to do so.
2.A requirement is that she actively interacts with the 2 girls and initiates activities. She tends to just sit back with her arms crossed and just watch what they are doing. I have suggested more than once that he gets involved / plays but have not seen a change.
3.I caught her telling DD3 to shut up. I asked her if she had. She claimed she didn’t understand me (her English is not poor). Eventually she admitted she had (DD3 has said she has said it more than once to her and dd3 did tell her it’s rude to say that). Aupair promised it wouldn’t happen again. I don’t know if it has. Think I am paranoid and it maybe clouding my judgment on other things
4.Aupair role was 4hrs a day. She then took a course which required 2 hrs twice a week in her designated hours. I managed to accommodate and asked her to make up on 2 other days of the week. She doesn’t. Again have reminded her. But she still disappears into her room after 4hrs and doesn’t complete the 2hrs she owes from the previous day. Have reminded her twice.
5.The only housework she has to do is get the DDs to tidy up after themselves and just keep the girls stuff in order. This is never done. I am constantly picking up after them all. I don’t expect my DDs to not do anything. But if she doesn’t encourage them and they don’t do it and she doesn’t do it, then I have to do it. I have again reminded her. She said she would. 2 weeks and everything back to before.

The aupair is generally a lovely girl. She is very shy (hasn’t managed to make much of a social life regardless of joining English classes and joining online groups etc) but gentle and a delight to spend time with. I don’t want to dismiss her but I also cannot let things continue as they are

Any advice would be very much appreciated

AndHarry Wed 13-May-15 10:07:43

I'd give her a final warning, with everything you've just written, and tell her you'll email the points so she has them to refer back to.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 13-May-15 10:52:35

She doesn't sound suited to the job tbh.

Do you think another warning is going to change that? I don't think so. There might be an improvement for a while, but if she isn't suited to the job she won't be able to keep it up for long.

Karoleann Wed 13-May-15 12:55:39

I'd let her go, it sounds like you've already given her an informal warning (about the tidying and hours) and she hasn't listened to you.

It does take a month for most au pairs to settle in, but she'd had longer than that.

DragonRojo Wed 13-May-15 14:02:12

it doesn't sound like she is suited for the job. However, about speaking to the girls in Spanish... is that a language that the girls already understand? otherwise this could be really awkward, with her trying to interact and nobody knowing what is going on.

Mum2Pea Thu 14-May-15 07:51:05

Thanks all

I have gone through everything with her again this week and have now decided that if i'd don't see an improvement by next weds, i will give her a written warning.

She didn't look too happy so wouldn't be surprised if she comes to the conclusion to leave

I have posted an advert on aupair world just in case as although i expect 4 weeks notice, i'm sure it would be too awkward. I don't plan to interview any girls that currently apply (and know most send out mass applications so hopefully it shouldn't put any of them out either)

re Spanish - the girls attended a spanish nursery when they were little and both previous aupairs spoke to them in spanish so although they are not fluent, they can understand it very well and speak it at a basic level - hence why we wanted to keep it up

i will keep you posted!

WonderingWillow Sat 23-May-15 05:38:06

How did it turn out OP?

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