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Would you hire an obese nanny?

(81 Posts)
DontFearTheSweeper Thu 23-Apr-15 19:33:06

Just that, really. I've had a phone interview for a new job and she would like to meet me for a face to face one. I now have a bit of crippling anxiety that as soon as she sees me she won't be interested.

It doesn't affect my work, I still run around in the garden with kids, go for a 1.5hr walk every morning; the kids eat really well with lots of fresh vegetables and I cook everything from scratch and eat with them. We talk about why it's important to develop a healthy relationship with food and about all the good things we're putting into our bodies.
Since I started with them I know they've seen me get fitter and healthier, I have a really long way to go still but I know I'll get there in the end and I'm not giving up.
But I'm so worried that as soon as a new family meets me they won't want me looking after their children, will think I'll pass on bad eating habits to them etc.
I don't know how I'll ever find a new job with this panic coming over me every interview.

Thanks for any advice.

ragged Thu 23-Apr-15 19:35:04

Hand on heart, how big are you? Would you break my chairs?

wheresthelight Thu 23-Apr-15 19:36:10

I wouldn't give a toss about your weight to be honest. my primary concern would be how well you interacted with my dd.

unfortunately not everyone is like that but good luck and try and stay positive thanks thanks

DearGirl Thu 23-Apr-15 19:36:53

What is obese?

threegoingonthirty Thu 23-Apr-15 19:37:11

Officially speaking, a BMI over 30 is obese. I'm on my way down from 33, currently at 29, and I don't think that even at my heaviest someone would have been put off hiring me - I'm tall and quite broad so carry it ok.

But if your BMI is over 35, heading to 40 maybe then I think it might put people off - sorry. How big are you?

Wildernessrock Thu 23-Apr-15 19:37:13

I would but I do suppose it would depend how obese. A size 16-18 fine. Much above that I would worry about their ability to run about/keep upwith the children.

avocadotoast Thu 23-Apr-15 19:38:11

Unless you're applying to work for Katie Hopkins, I don't think it'll be an issue.

And tbh, if someone doesn't want to employ you because of your weight, would that really be someone you wanted to work for? Because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't.

EggsAreNotFromCows Thu 23-Apr-15 19:38:23

Well your current family didn't have a problem with your size did they?

It wouldn't bother me at all if it didn't affect your work. I would spend a fair bit of time with a potential nanny before offering the job, so if I saw you doing all the things that were important to me and my children I wouldn't give 2 hoots what your size is smile

caramelgirl Thu 23-Apr-15 19:38:48

Not quite the same but we had a nursery nurse who was significantly overweight. But very positive about food and lifestyle choices (none of the chatting about diets or naughty food etc.) and she ran around and played brilliantly. So I think as long as you can show that you can keep up with the kids then it wouldn't bother me. Some people may project their issues onto you. Nothing you can really do if they have prejudices but not everyone will and you need to get out there to find a good family. Good Luck!!

Nolim Thu 23-Apr-15 19:40:07

My child goes to nursery and her favorite staff is on the chubby side. She is lovely.

Mintyy Thu 23-Apr-15 19:41:56

You sound fab! Why are you leaving your current job?

I've never been in a position to employ a nanny sad but I like to think I wouldn't be prejudiced against someone who is obese, being technically obese myself!

Good luck for your interview.

DontFearTheSweeper Thu 23-Apr-15 19:44:03

Thanks for all the replies.

Sorry, should have said very obese! I'm a size 22.

would that really be someone you wanted to work for?

No, that's true. But I do worry if every family that I apply for is like that, I'll never get one!

Another question then. Is it something I should bring up in the 2nd interview if they don't ask? I want to show to them that I'm serious about healthy eating, continuing with my weight loss and playing properly with the kids but I don't want to come across too focused on it I guess? If I make more of an issue of it than they do?

DontFearTheSweeper Thu 23-Apr-15 19:45:25


I'd like some longer hours more pay and to work with toddlers/preschoolers again. My current charges are 9 and 10 so we can have some great conversations and time together but the hours aren't quite enough while they're in school.

Wildernessrock Thu 23-Apr-15 19:49:09

I want to revise my previous statement then- if you told me at interview what you said in your last post I would have no concerns at all.

lastlines Thu 23-Apr-15 19:49:18

I wouldn't hire a nanny whose weight prevented her from having the energy to look after the children in the way I wanted them cared for, but I wouldn't care at all what size she was if she was lively and warm and friendly. There's a lot to be said for a big cosy cuddle. Children love a snuggly cushioned body. Mine always did. They gravitated towards bigger friends, day care workers and TAs when they were little.

Are you worried you won't be agile enough? if you show you can get down on the floor to play with toys and chase them round the garden, why should they care?

Springtimemama Thu 23-Apr-15 19:49:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frankie80 Thu 23-Apr-15 19:49:29

I'd have concerns about what you were feeding my child and what activities you would do with them - I'd assume you wouldn't have the energy to take her to the park.

You said you'd talk about healthy eating, but I wouldn't believe you.

Just being honest.

I wouldn't mention it unless they did first though.

ragged Thu 23-Apr-15 19:49:37

Gosh what you do about your weight is your private business, you shouldn't justify, I wouldn't bring it up. Use the time to show your enthusiasm instead.

Size 22 is like hauling around a whole extra person with you, but still not break my furniture threshold. Best of luck with your healthy eating plans.

Stillwishihadabs Thu 23-Apr-15 19:50:36

You sound great. I would be upfront tbh. I would much prefer someone who showed some awreness of healthy eating than someone who is thin but has an unhealthy relationship with food.

Southamerica Thu 23-Apr-15 19:50:52

I'd hire you in a heartbeat if I liked you regardless of your size smile.

Good luck!!

Thatoneoverthere Thu 23-Apr-15 19:59:02

I'm about the same size (and have been bigger) and have always managed to find work no problem. I've had people hire me because of my size (didn't work, the dad still hit on me, super awkward!), people who have had a problem with it ( that boss had her own severe eating issues in the opposite direction) but its not normally an issue. Kids just tell me I'm comfortable :P Get your current bosses to put something in your reference about healthy eating? I would bring it up in the interview, I have done before.

Good luck with the interview!!

DontFearTheSweeper Thu 23-Apr-15 20:01:27

Thank you wilderness.

lastlines, I'm not worried about that at all really, I think I'm fairly nimble for my size. I dance around the house a lot with the 9 yr old and it's always extravagant leaping about/ballet/trying to do the tap dances from Singin' in the Rain which I'm magnificent at. It's more about what frankie80 said, that they wouldn't trust me to look after their kids.

Thanks for the confidence boost. I know I was bigger when I got my current job and I remember feeling the same way, really anxious on the train to meet them. But for some reason it seems worse this time.

threegoingonthirty Thu 23-Apr-15 20:01:53

I've got a 6 year old and a very active 3 year old. I'll be honest. You'd have to be better than a candidate who is of a normal weight. I'd be worried that you wouldn't have the energy to keep up with the two year old. Of course I wouldn't be able to say that at interview as it's probably illegal, so you'll never know if this is the reason why you don't get a job. But I think explaining a bit at interview about energy and ongoing wt loss would be worth doing.

HiawathaDidntBotherTooMuch Thu 23-Apr-15 20:02:25

Wouldn't really bother me. There are loads more things that I would put before size if I was looking to replace our brilliant nanny. You sound really nice to me smile. I think we would get on, and I think you would be good with my children.

I am not big, but lots of my family members are. I don't see weight tbh, and never notice whether someone has lost weight. That said, I never notice whether someone has gained it either. And I never pick up on pregnancy bellies. I just don't notice. Interestingly, whilst I am slim, I am not at all fit. You might be lots fitter than I am smile

Any employer would see at an interview where you interacted with the children whether you found it easy to get up and down UK the floor, could have a run in the garden etc.

Good luck.

DontFearTheSweeper Thu 23-Apr-15 20:05:02

Oh thank you thatone, that's reassuring to hear. Did you worry about it at all whenever you applied? I'm trying to be more confident in myself but it's hard slog sometimes. Some of the time I'm tempted to carry a giant sign around saying 'I know I'm very fat but I'm working on it and won't make your kids fat' grin Though that might not be very reassuring to them.

Oh and I was a bit vague last post, I mean to say thanks for the advice from everyone, I really appreciate it and the honesty.

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