This topic is for discussing childcare options. If you want to advertise, please use your Local site.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Nanny for 3 month old?(27 Posts)
I will have a baby later this year and am still figuring out practical stuff such as childcare. Due to my work situation I will need to go back after 3 months.
Does anyone have experience from arranging childcare for a 3 month old?
I assume a nanny would be the best option but when would you first ask her to start coming around to give the baby enough time to get used to her? Also would it be possible with a nanny share at that age and, if not, when may you start considering that an option?
Any feedback from those with first hand experience would be much appreciated
when you say 'will' do you mean you are already pregnant?
Just wondered as 'going to' would suggest that more.
Honestly ........ 3 months is a bit young to be leaving with a nanny.
Can the dad not help? or can you somehow put off returning to work?
3mths is not too young to leave a baby if you have to go back to work. I've been a nanny for over 23yrs and the first 3 jobs I had all the babies were 3-4mths old as that was what the mat limit was then
Many people can't afford to take off 9/12mths and in some Jobs even tho legally entitled to mat leave - you may feel you need to go back
Whatever the reason is - it doesn't matter - and as I said 3mths isn't too young
You do as a parent what you need to do
Tbh at that age your baby won't need to get used to the nanny. But if you feel happier having a few days when she (or he nick) pops in for a few hours then that's fine too
I Prob wouldn't suggest a nanny share at this age as means either your baby would be with an older child who may have activites etc so your baby will 'tag' along with those - and if baby of same age (will be like twins) and although blondes loves twins - many nannies may be put off having 2 very young babies
If you can afford it to have your own nanny for least for year and then maybe think about a share with similar or year or two older child
When are you due ?
IME it is too young but what do I know? as blondes said, parents gotta do what they gotta do.
Three months is very young , nobody can be forced to go back to work after three months. People chose to because they don't want to struggle financially but maternity pay is higher than out of work benefits you don't actually need to.
I agree with blondes. A 3 month old won't know/care who is looking after it so you don't really need a settling in period for the baby's sake. You need to do what suits you/makes you feel comfortable.
3 months is too young for a share. You could probably start a share around the 7-9 month mark because that's when most people go back to work and will be looking for childcare. Shares between two babies of that age are common.
If you wanted the nanny to bring the baby to work so you can BF, that could probably be arranged (obviously dependent on location etc.).
No need to do settling sessions, though do make sure nanny and baby meet at interview stage.
The tricky thing with babies is getting them to accept a bottle. It can take a while and will initially result in milk strike. So be prepared for that. Give baby a good feed before you leave for work and immediately upon your return.
A nanny for one child is a costly option, so a nanny share might work but do you know another local family who would share? You want a family you know, not strangers. So get to know any neighbours with young children.
A nanny is perfect for a 3 month old. I agree with the others that your baby won't need settling in sessions, but you and the nanny might want some time together to talk about how you would like it to work. 1:1 nanny is best if you can afford it.
I went back to work when DS1 was 3 months old. He went to a great nursery. However, we now have a nanny and looking back, if we could have afforded it, we would have got a nanny then.
I looked after my last baby from three months sole charge. And now I have an 8 week old who's mum will go back to work in about 5 weeks time.
If you find someone with excellent experience, similar values to your own then a nanny imo is perfect. The baby is at home in own environment, routine, going out for walks ect. classes and groups when older. Much better then being stuck in a daycare all day,
Thanks everyone for the replies - very helpful!
Am due end of August / early September so just started thinking about these things
I would have thought a nanny would be the perfect childcare arrangement for a three month old baby. I can't understand why anyone would think differently. I have worked in a nursery, preschool, as a nanny and now a childminder and a nanny would be my first choice of a child of any age. Obviously cost has to factor in the descion but if money was no object...
I wouldn't think a little baby would need much in the way of settling in sessions. It might be nice for you to have a couple of hours to get used to being away from baby though. If you go from being with baby 24/7 to leaving her for 10 hours, you might struggle with that. Maybe, A couple of hours a couple of times the week before, so you can grow in confidence for nanny and know that she can cope all day but I would think this would be more for your benefit than baby's or Nannys.
Sunny,3 months is young to be returning to work but some people have no choice. Not that many years ago, it would have been the norm for mothers to return back quickly to work, it's only relatively recently maternity pay/leave has improved and mothers are in the position to take longer amounts of time off if they wish (and really how many people get significantly less pay while on maternity, it is sometimes an enforced choice on the basis of affordability).
Three months is fine for a nanny. Look for someone who has baby experience. Maybe had their own children. There are plenty of older nannies like myself with grown up children. Or younger nannies who have cared for charges from this age.
IMO a good time to return to work. You will not have the separation anxiety that starts at 8-9 months. Agree with other the baby will not need to get used to nanny.
A tip even if you are breastfeeding introduce a bottle fairly soon (expressed milk) so baby will take from a bottle too.
If you can afford a nanny the best option. Baby can sleep in its own cot exactly to your routine. Nannies will also do baby laundry, clean tidy baby areas eg bedroom , playrooms. You might also find someone who will do other tasks when baby sleeping. I'm always happy to batch cook etc.
Congratulations and best wishes with your pregnancy.
Thank you Florence and Lucy
I did think I might ease into work doing 1 day a week from home while also having the nanny there but you are probably right in that it will be more to keep my happy than anyone else
Very reassuring to hear that others have started with a nanny at 3 months without any problems!
I have looked after a 6 week old when mum went back to work. Also 10 week old twins when their mum went back to work. Both had their own business, if they didn't go back to work then none of the staff got paid!
I have also done a nanny share, an 11 week old and a 14 week old, back when mothers only got 3 month maternity pay and there was no paternity leave at all. It was a great job and the children are now 21, very good friends and at the same Uni away from home! (I'm meeting them for lunch and a movie on Sunday, yay!) both families went on to have another baby so I had a 23 month old, a 22 month old, a 7 month old and a 4 month old! It was a very busy but immensely rewarding job. Swimming was fun!
I would suggest getting the nanny to start a week or two before you go back to work, if you can afford it. You don't know how hard it will be to leave baby at the moment! Some of my bosses find it pretty easy, others found it awful, one mum used to cry on the train into work every day for the first 6-8 weeks! Hormones do crazy things to you! I worked along side her for two months before she went back so she saw how much i cared for them (already! I wanted to take them home at the interview! 12 week old (4 weeks prem) and sooo cute!) so knew they were in good hands, she just missed them so much. You can do a gradual withdraw, an hour on day two, 2-3 on day three, half a day on day four and a pamper day on day five!
3 months was also dated from when you left on maternity leave so my pfb was 9 weeks when I had to go back to work as I had been ill and couldn't work to due date..sole earner. Nursery option was all that was available then in my price range and they all took from 8 weeks then.
I had a trainee nanny when pfb was newborn for a week for her "work" experience and she was amazing...if you can afford properly trained nanny then is best option.
Oh and pfb is still at school so not that long ago!!!
I live in a country with 4 months mat leave so went back early - a nanny was pretty much the only form of childcare I considered (plus work started at 7am so no nursery and very few CMS happy to work that!).
A nanny with baby experience is perfect, do make sure your baby is used to being fed by someone other than you, be it expressed milk or formula (bitter experience speaking) you'd be surprised how long a 3 month old will hold out if used to one thing and thrown into another!
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
I know lots of people who have had to go back when baby was 3 months (and younger). personally if I had had to do that I would have gone with a nanny or au pair as I think at that age the 121 care is vital.
you need to do what suits you best! nannies aren't the cheapest option unfortunately but perhaps you could look for a childminder who only has a small number of kids to mind?
Nanny is a great option, but quite an expensive one. Nanny shares work well.
A few meetings before starting would be enough for a three month old.
Leaving little babies is not an issue for the babies - they need you more later on it turns out
I've just gone back with my third at four months and done a mixture of nursery and nanny. It's going fine.
You sound like an amazing nanny! I’m currently pregnant and will be looking for a nanny to start at the end of this year / beginning of next year. Would you be open to a discussion at all? We are based in Balham London.
Please login first.