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What's the most useful type of help with a newborn?

(23 Posts)
JE1982 Sat 17-Jan-15 17:37:43

DS is 3 weeks, and I'm going to need some help but am not sure what's most helpful!

He's a pretty good sleeper (settles well after the feed, change, burp cycle and sleeps in 2-4 hour chunks), but I just need an extra pair of hands to make up bottles etc, and maybe to cover one feed in the day so I can have a solid chunk of sleep.

Should I be looking for a part-time nanny? Or some other arrangement?

SoonToBeSix Sat 17-Jan-15 17:40:27

Are you a single parent, have a disability / health problems or going back to work? What are your reasons for needing help?

wewishyou Sat 17-Jan-15 17:51:29

" I just need an extra pair of hands to make up bottles etc, and maybe to cover one feed in the day so I can have a solid chunk of sleep."

SoonToBeSix, the reason seems pretty clear to me

You could look for a mother help or a part time nanny JE1982

Wonkyparsnip Sat 17-Jan-15 17:59:03

Do you have any family who could come and give you an hour? If not maybe try and find a nanny that would just do a couple of hours in the afternoon? Good luck.

SoonToBeSix Sat 17-Jan-15 17:59:12

No I meant what are the reasons op can't make up bottles herself sleep when baby sleeps etc so most appropriate help could be suggested. I thought I was missing something but maybe not.

nannynick Sat 17-Jan-15 17:59:20

Cleaner.
Late afternoon help from a local teenager/college student who likes babies and thus could make up bottles, entertain DS, do a feed.

JE1982 Sat 17-Jan-15 19:14:42

Soontobesix, I don't have any family locally and dh is in a very demanding job so won't be helping at all on weekdays. I'm still recovering from pregnancy/childbirth, and we're fortunate to be able to afford some help - so to answer the question, there isn't any particular reason I need help, I'd just like it!

We just moved to a new area, so I'm not sure how I'd find a helpful teenager/student, any ideas?

Cleaner is a really good suggestion, somehow it hadn't occurred to me but if somebody else did household stuff that would help!

LetticeKnollys Sat 17-Jan-15 19:21:37

I was in a similar situation and couldn't afford help, but if I had then in retrospect I would have gone with a cleaner rather than a childcare option. Personally I'd say that doing everything for DS by myself for a while gave me valuable confidence with him. For example, I'd hear people say "oh I still don't dare do X with DBaby by myself yet" and think "...really? confused", but I liked that, it made me feel capable.

I know some people might just find it overwhelming though, so it depends.

nannynick Sat 17-Jan-15 19:21:55

Ad in newsagents. Ask neighbours if you know them.

Laundry service can be handy, though costly.
If DH needs shirts ironed get him to do them himself or use ironing service.

nannynick Sat 17-Jan-15 19:24:00

I agree, the baby stuff is nice generally. Its the manual labour stuff you want to deligate such as cleaning, laundry, shopping, cooking.

LetticeKnollys Sat 17-Jan-15 19:26:22

Oh, another point... It's good doing the baby stuff yourself because you find little ways of getting things done which I think people struggle with when they have a helping hand most of the time. I sometimes hear people say things like "I couldn't get dressed until 3pm because I had the baby by myself" and that would be another thing which got me thinking "err... What?"

sofatastic Sat 17-Jan-15 19:29:37

Postnatal doula.

heather1 Sat 17-Jan-15 19:29:45

How about a cleaner. Also surrender to the chaos a little bit, it doesn't last too long. Sleep when baby sleeps. Listen to a relaxation app if you don't feel relaxed. I would only trust myself to make up bottles!

polster1 Sat 17-Jan-15 19:30:11

Is there a local website, we had one in the largish town we lived and now out in a big village. A few childcare/babysitters/home help advertise in it but you can also place wanted ads. A few of my friends did cleaners and found it really helpful.

scratchandsniff Sat 17-Jan-15 19:35:19

I reckon a cleaner too. Personally I'd feel like I needed to know someone really well to let them look after my baby. I think just having someone do the household chores would be a big help.

LittleBipper Sat 17-Jan-15 20:01:25

Clothes washing, bottle washing if using, lunch cooking...

Basically whatever would maximise 1. Time with baby and 2. Sleep (so you can actually sleep when the baby sleeps)

spekulatius Sat 17-Jan-15 20:32:16

Definitely cleaner and someone doing the washing and ironing. Then you can just focus on the baby. If you are struggling with sleep maybe try co-sleeping. And you bottle feed full time you can get the ready made cartons or bottles to make it easier.

eastmidswarwicknightnanny Sun 18-Jan-15 04:17:26

A mother's help type of person would be useful so they can help with putting a wash on, hanging on line, loading dishwasher, hoovering etc but also watch baby, feed if using bottles whilst you have an hr sleep, pop to hairdresser, shop or cook a meal.

eastmidswarwicknightnanny Sun 18-Jan-15 04:19:17

Also if bottle feeding I highly recommend the perfect prep machine for making up feeds saves so much time and I rarely recommend gadgets as think many are over priced n not worth it but having used one in a job I would buy one if bottle feeding.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 18-Jan-15 18:31:29

Think cost comes In to it

Are you thinking of long term or just a few weeks

What can you afford a week?

Cleaner who is happy to put load of washing on and do bottles would be good

Or a younger less exp nanny/mh who will do light housework and look after baby while you sleep

Do you have a college near you? They often look for families where can send those on a childcare course ?

Talk to a nanny agency. May have a lady who can come for a few hours a day/ few days a week

As I said depends what money you have iyswim

Littlef00t Sun 18-Jan-15 21:01:17

I slept when the baby slept at least once a day for absolutely months. DH picked up the slack when he got home.

I'd vote for a cleaner, ready meals or batch cooking, and napping when you can.

Zebrasinpyjamas Sun 18-Jan-15 21:07:06

In my area we have a mums Facebook page where nannies, au pairs and casual housekeepers/cleaners advertise when they have spare days/time. You could look to see if your area has something similar?
I agree with the above that the household bits are probably best and easily delegated.

JE1982 Sun 18-Jan-15 21:14:23

Thanks for all the advice. I had only thought in terms of getting help with the baby, but you're all right I actually want to be the one looking after him!

We've lined up a cleaner, and dh has agreed to spend our "childcare" budget on ready meals, laundry services etc at least for the next couple of weeks and see how we go.

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