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Au pair for SAHM - would this work?

(11 Posts)
UpSeeDaisies Sat 27-Dec-14 21:18:11

I am currently expecting dc3 due just before dc1 (4) starts school next year. Dc 2 is 3.

I am a SAHM but am worried about what they early days will look like with a new born, a preschooler and a child starting school. I want to make the school transition as smooth as possible for dc1 who is quite shy.

I've been thinking an Au pair for 6 - 12 months could be a good option, to work 7am-9am to help get the kids ready for school, allow me a lie in if I've had a bad night with the baby and on occasion take dc1 if I'm really not up to it. Then work 3/4-7pm to help after school with entertaining younger ones while dc1 has time with me if needed (I appreciate they don't have sole charge of the baby - this could be in the house), helping with dinner and bed time, light housework etc

The idea is a spare pair of hands in the early days so somedays he/she may be needed more in their hours than others.

Has anyone had an au pair as a SAHM and did it work? Am I being realistic that this is the right option for me or should I consider alternatives?

Would welcome any thoughts!

IAmAPaleontologist Sat 27-Dec-14 21:25:46

Depends on what you want. Could be great but would you end up feeling like you can't slob on the sofa with your boobs out and so on? remember aupair will be there all the time including weekends. Yes they may go to language classes and go out but they will be living in your home, you will need to cook for them even on days you want to throw fish fingers or beans on toast at the children.

i wonder if you are overthinking it a bit, you will soon get your routine sorted and there is nothing wrong with putting yesterday's clothes on and the baby still being in pjs for the school run then sorting yourselves out afterwards!

Peachy27 Sat 27-Dec-14 21:30:11

I've not had an au pair but am a SAHM and was in a similar situation to you just over a year ago. DC3 was born a couple of weeks after DC1 started school and DC2 was also at pre school three mornings a week, DH left for work at 630am and often not back til after bedtime. The prospect of how I would cope with a newborn and school and pre school runs was really daunting to me, I spent ages running it through in my mind, wondering how it would work, how I would have time for DC1 after school but it honestly did all fit into place and I'm sure it will for you too. I'm not saying it was always easy but when you're in the midst of it you'll just get on with it and you'll be fine. I know quite a few other mums who have had the same situation and been fine. I also have a friend who got an au pair when she had her third and loved it for the most part, not having to drag three kids out for a pint of milk etc, not having to take the younger ones on every school run, however she did have to always have someone else in her house so it's a question of weighing up whether you think that's worth it or not.
Good luck whatever you decide!

minipie Sat 27-Dec-14 22:03:17

You could also consider a mother's help (live out so without the same issues re privacy/having to take care of them as an au pair) or a postnatal doula?

Gusthetheatrecat Sun 28-Dec-14 08:50:50

We have 3 DC, and have an au pair now to help out. We are on our second, and it has absolutely wonderful having someone to help with runs to piano lessons, school runs, etc. They are now 2, 4 and 6. We got through that first year when my youngest was a newborn and my eldest was in reception, but I often think about how great it would have been to have had an au pair during that first year. Don't get me wrong, we are all still here, and it was ok. But it was also bloody hard work, especially the mornings and trying to make tea in the evenings. Thinking about how helpful it would have been to have someone else there to prepare tea, read stories to my middle child, help clear up, etc makes me feel a bit tearful!
Obv you have to have someone else in your house. But personally, third time around, I felt much less 'precious newborn cocoon' about my house, and much more 'please anyone who wants to come in and help, they are all very welcome!'

UpSeeDaisies Mon 29-Dec-14 11:10:35

Thanks all. gus are you a SAHM with your 3?

Karoleann Mon 29-Dec-14 15:57:18

We have an au pair and I am (almost) a full-time SAHM - I do work very occasionally and am doing a masters.

My children are older though - my youngest DD is 3, we had nannies/mother's helps when the children were smaller. Au pairs need a lot of looking after and I don't think I would have had the energy to deal with someone else (cooking etc) when the children were little babies. It was also helpful having someone who could look after the baby if I needed to go to an assembly or even have my hair cut.

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers Mon 29-Dec-14 16:09:49

I have no advise on an au pair, but I have very similar age gaps to you (im 6 months pregnant with a 3.5yo and a 2.5yo) I'm just hoping to wing it and get us all in a routine by the time my dd starts school in sept. Maybe I'm naive?!

Gusthetheatrecat Mon 29-Dec-14 20:42:37

Hello Upseedaisies, I am not quite a SAHM, but am at home most of the time. I'm a local councillor, and also chair of governors, so I am working, but mainly evening meetings and nothing like regular office hours. No way I could do what I'm doing without some kind of help, and an au pair works brilliantly for us at the moment.
Our current au pair has a school friend arriving in London in January, who is going to au pair for a family that is exactly as you describe: two children already, and a new baby due to arrive imminently. Our au pair says her friend is SO excited about being in a family with such a small baby. And also that she anticipates spending most of her working time helping with the older boys. So it's obviously possible, and even very attractive for someone who is very into babies.

Aherdofmims Thu 01-Jan-15 23:18:52

I had an au pair while on maternity leave (not normally a SAHM) and it was great. Having someone to do the school run when baby had had bad nights (turned out he was tongue tied in the end) was a life saver. I know people cope with school run after sleepless nights with new born but I'm not sure how!

Artandco Thu 01-Jan-15 23:26:27

I would think a part time nanny would be better. Someone 3-6pm who is experienced will probably be more helpful, than someone morning and afternoon who may be like having another child in the house if homesick/ non experienced.

A part time live out nanny would be able to have all 3 children alone if you needed, can take baby out alone for walk if restless when you want to help elder ones with reading etc, and could cook a proper meal each day before they leave

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