My mum's best friend passed away suddenly at the weekend. We've found out the date for the funeral & it's on a day I do my nanny share. The date also falls in the week that MB from the main family is away for work Mon-Fri. DB1 is a surgeon & MB2&DB2 are both teachers. Neither set of parents have family living close by (2.5+ hours away). I'm hesitant to ask for the time off as I know it won't be possible but I'm devastated I can't go. Options I have are: 1) ask & be told no 2) ask & they miraculously find cover 3) ask & tell them that my sister has offered to have the 2 youngest ones (eldest is at school) & take them for a walk in the park next to the crematorium so I can at least get to say my goodbyes there, although we've been told its family only there. She can then go to the thanksgiving service after with the rest of my family. The service would be 20 mins max & the girls know her but would hopefully sleep as it's right after lunch.
Nannies WWYD? Employers What would you rather I did?
Sorry it's long & thank you for getting this far if you did. I wanted to make sure I had all the details in there.
Difficult one as it's not really classed as immediate family. If you really want to go I would ask but I would say it may not appeal to them especially as option 3 seems strange as you want to be there & your sister doesn't mind? No offence intended.
If the family has said close family only at the crematorium, I think you need to respect that, regardless of the work situation. I also think most parents would be reluctant to see their children getting involved, albeit in a very incidental way, in a stranger's funeral. I would see if you can agree cover so that you can go to the memorial service with your family, but otherwise maybe just go alone and lay flowers at the weekend.
Respect their wishes and if family only then that means that - unless you are classed as family - but def dont take kids there - if that's the only solution then they can go to cafe/coffee shop with your sister - or the park as you said
Personally I would ask for day off - and see what happens - could you leave kids with a nanny friend? My 'Mafia' as one of my bosses once called my nanny friends would all offer to help - ESP those with no ties with school runs etc