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Au pairs changing families...?

(9 Posts)
Hhhhmhowtochoose Sat 20-Dec-14 00:22:24

I've had a few au pairs contacting me who are leaving current families. Most have been honest but one failed to mention it when we reached interview stage.

Has anyone successfully recruited and kept an au pair who left another family? For me it would really depend on why they are leaving. TIA

blueshoes Sat 20-Dec-14 00:38:16

For me, I insist on a reference from the host family. If they cannot provide because they are not leaving on good terms, I don't take the risk and terminate the discussions at that stage.

I might be missing out on good candidates but heck, even those aupairs who have left their previous families who were able to provide good references have not always worked out, so it would be much worse if they could not provide references.

I am wary of aupairs who only stay for a few weeks and openly criticise their previous host family.

Hhhhmhowtochoose Sat 20-Dec-14 00:45:07


AnonyMust Sat 20-Dec-14 04:48:56

I've done so once but asked to speak to her current/ old family to check that
A) they were happy for her to leave
B) she had been trustworthy and kind with the children

wewishyou Sat 20-Dec-14 11:25:09

What if the current family are treating them like slaves? What if the current family doesn't respect the terms agreed? What if they don't payher? What if the dad is trying to hit on the nanny?what if...

AnonyMust Sat 20-Dec-14 15:13:56

Good questions. But in my experience, some au pairs will a upland make up a sob story just to come to greener (looking) pastures despite being treated beautifully and with respect. It's worth checking as a family that have been treating an au pair well and who are being lied about and abandoned is a real possibility. It's not nice to risk doing that to another family.

blueshoes Sat 20-Dec-14 21:57:15

If an aupair is treated badly, it is her word against the family's. I am sure there are true cases of mistreatment, but it is so difficult to know if the aupair is embellishing. A family may not be what the aupair had in mind but my preference is to see an aupair stick it out for at least 4-6 months before moving on.

meadowquark Mon 22-Dec-14 09:28:49

My friend just let her horrible aupair go. She has found another host and in fact had 3 proposals. The aupair started of with giving my friend's number for reference, but as my friend told the truth, she stopped it and started giving a false reference. I am afraid there is no way of checking.

AnonyMust Tue 23-Dec-14 02:32:43

There you have it's: always worth checking, either to make sure you're not about to make a nice family's situation a nightmare (childcare for work, relationship between children and au pair, etc.) or that you're actually inviting a nightmare to live with you. All is most certainly not what it would, at first, appear.

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