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sleep routine at CM

(13 Posts)
KiltedKoala Tue 16-Dec-14 04:49:33

Dd (2) wakes usually somewhere around 7-7.30. Sleep time at CM is 1-3 and pick up at 5.30. on CM days she usually goes to bed later.
our CM is fab and really good with her so I have accepted the later bedtimes and adjusted home routine where necessary.

however, next year we are changing to 4 days a week so if there are problems they are going to get bigger. yesterday, she didn't settle at sleep time, did a poo and hid under the blankets, etc. eventually she fell asleep at 2.30 and woke at 3.40. So she didn't then go to bed until 10ish. I am 10 wks pg and knackered and the late nights are killing me.

Dh does the pick up and he did say that he was a bit concerned about how late bedtime would be. CMs response was that the other children get up at 6am, so it's not a problem for them, and that she needs them all to sleep at the same time. I totally understand that she needs a break.

But I am not about to start the day at 6 to suit her, and in any case I'm not sure it would work, I still think leaving 2 yr olds until after 3 is guaranteed to give a potentially late bedtime!

She admits that DD isn't as tired as the other kids at the end of the day, so it does seem that she doesn't have as much need for daytime sleep as the others and is "recharged" by the sleep.

But for a brilliant loving CM, wwyd? She's made clear that she needs sleep time, and I understand that, but I don't want to get up at 6am, nor be up at 10pm! Any suggestions for a solution that works for everyone?

HSMMaCM Tue 16-Dec-14 06:01:28

Most of my mindees go to sleep at 1 or 2 for an hour or two and still go to bed at 7. This might be what she's used to, so doesn't understand the problem. I do fit in around home sleep routines when they're little, but this can restrict outings. It's probably just that they're out in the morning, come home for lunch and then have a sleep.

You could request that DC doesn't sleep after 3pm? Or ... If still awake at 2, then gets up to play? I make it clear to parents that if they seem poorly, I will leave them to sleep, but otherwise we work out a routine that works for both of us. Try not to discuss this on the doorstep, but ask if you can have a chat outside hours.

jendot2 Tue 16-Dec-14 08:36:49

How about suggesting to the cm she switches to quiet time for your dd rather than an enforced sleep time. Snuggle dd up on the sofa with a pillow and blanket and a DVD or stash of picture books for 45 minutes or so. 90% of the time your dd will probably nod off if not she has had a rest and will have recharged ( and cm would have got here break). I would be adamant with cm that she should not let your dd sleep after 2.30pm as it messes up bed time. Even if that means she goes without a sleep that day. I would put it in writing and ask the cm to acknowledge this request.

It's my personal opinion that your cm is not such a great cm if she is putting her needs for a break above your child's needs and your routine.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Tue 16-Dec-14 08:39:30

Sounds like your dd needs less sleep than her other mindees and she may well be outgrowing her naps.

Could you ask CM to only let her nap every other day?

Stubbed Tue 16-Dec-14 08:43:16

Sounds like she needs to drop her nap if you ask me. Maybe one in three days she would need one but not every day. Then she'll go to bed at 7. CM can't expect them to sleep every day as they get older.

Jinxxx Tue 16-Dec-14 09:14:57

I agree with HSMM about asking your CM not to let DD sleep beyond 3, but I can see the other side too. I have had parents say let's drop the afternoon nap, and the result has been grumpy, fractious or tearful toddlers, or worse yet, toddlers falling asleep at teatime, which is obviously worse than having a quick top up nap straight after lunch. It's not a case of me needing a rest, it's about whether a little one needs a rest to remain contented and cheerful. I am also wondering if you are getting the bedtime routine right - don't mean to be rude, but it does sound as if your DD is deciding when she will go to bed. It's hardly surprising she is tired in the afternoon if she is up until ten, and at two she should be getting the message that bath, story, bed means stay in bed until asleep, not play mummy up.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 16-Dec-14 09:47:14

Age depending but my charges sleep after lunch 2-3.30 and still in bed and asleep at 7pm

2 is young to drop a nap but maybe reduce it to an hour. Assume she sleeps at home your days and at weekend?

Nothing worse then a tired grumpy toddler who at 4/5 pm
Falls asleep at tea time as hasnt slept

Agree sleeping past 3.30 is too late tho have been odd time when mine have woken up at 4 as been out and still in bed at 7and asleep

Agree a bedtime routine needs to be maybe stricter at home and when it's bedtime its bedtime and not have child up till 10pm as that has a knock over effect and will be tired following day as had 3hrs less sleep

LingDiLong Tue 16-Dec-14 11:17:48

I'm surprised that a CM is using her need for a break as a reason to enforce an afternoon nap. Childminding is one of those jobs where you often just don't get a break and you have to suck it up!

One of the little ones I look after dropped his nap at around 2.5 when his parents explained it was keeping him up til stupid o'clock and basically resulting in less sleep overall for him. I was more than happy to stop the nap as I could see it was in his best interests. He still nods off occassionally now a year later and his parents are fine with that as long as I wake him up after 30 minutes or so.

Could you ask her to just cut the nap short and wake her up at 2? Or if she's clearly not tired then don't force the issue?

HSMMaCM Tue 16-Dec-14 11:28:51

Quiet time is a good idea. I have a couple of nearly 3 yr olds who don't sleep every day, but they do have a rest. I also have a 4 yr old who naps about once a month, but not for long.

Cullercoats88 Tue 16-Dec-14 14:13:25

Nothing to add to other posts really, except to say less sleep in day doesn't always equate to less sleep at night. Could it be that she is so over tired that's making bed time 10pm?
I currently look after a 2yr old, parents insist on a 30minute nap but by 4/5 he is so grumpy, sometimes refuses dinner, and they still turn up next morning saying that he wouldn't sleep until nearly 11pm!! If I let him sleep an hour, or even more, he will be asleep by 8 and stay asleep until next morning.
What are naps like for you at the weekend? Perhaps suggest a routine review after Christmas x

KiltedKoala Wed 17-Dec-14 07:15:44

maybe I'm coming at this from wrong angle, tbh we deliberately don't even try for bed until 8ish on CM days. Maybe we are trying too late and then she's overtired. We are currently still doing gradual retreat to get her to fall asleep by herself at bedtime which doesn't help.

She doesn't always sleep on home days - maybe half and half. So I assumed she was outgrowing nap. who knows? lots to think about, thanks.

Cullercoats88 Wed 17-Dec-14 08:38:00

I think whatever you decide to do, there needs to be consistency. I think asking your CM to stick to a sleep routine in the day to help you at night isn't a problem, but I just wanted to say that sometimes when we think they are outgrowing naps, they are actually tired but just want to stay awake to play.
Why not try winding down from 6.45, lullabies playing, no TV (can over stimulate brain) bath, story and bed for 7.30? Ask CM to do the same from 1pm, and if your Dd isn't asleep by 2pm then at least she has had some down time xx

Lucylouby Fri 19-Dec-14 21:56:29

Could your cm cut the length of nap down? Two hours nap, every day, is quite long for some two year olds. My ds had stopped napping at all by the time he had his second birthday. On the other hand, my four year old dd still naps maybe once a fortnight and still goes to bed as normal.
As a cm i appreciate the rest in the day when my little ones have a nap, but you have to accept that as children grow up their napping habits change and shorten. They won't nap every day until they start school, so your cm needs to accept the days of a 2 hour break in the middle of the day are numbered.
I think you also need to stress that reagardless of what time your dc goes to sleep, she is woken at 3 at the latest. If she won't accept this, I'm not sure how brilliant she is tbh.

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