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Childminder or Nanny

(40 Posts)
nihatsgirl Tue 09-Dec-14 10:55:39

Hello ladies,

Hoping for some guidance on best option. I am having a baby hopefully on the 12/03/2015. ELCS. So fairly certain. I work as a consultant 65 miles away from my home and expect to go back 2 days a week when baby is 6 weeks old. I was thinking of either childminder or nanny for baby between 8:30-4:30. I expect to have a 90 minute break in the day and would ideally like to be able to go breastfeed from 12-13:30

nihatsgirl Tue 09-Dec-14 11:00:12

Sorry using phone. Did not finish earlier. Which set up, would allow this flexibility. I would prefer nanny but can't offer accommodation at work. So childminder best option? How feasible will my plan to see baby during my lunch be with a childminder. Also when should I be looking to sign contract etc. I have a mothers help at my home but would like to go to work with baby due to travel distance. Can't easily get home if needed.

Thanks in advance

FlorenceMattell Tue 09-Dec-14 11:13:07

Think you may find your baby is sleeping between these times.
Also think it would be very disruptive to the baby to have mum appearing then disappearing.
You might be better to express milk for the day feeds or give formula and to continue to breast feed @ 7am, 5-6 pm , 10 pm and middle of night. At six weeks most breastfeeding babies are still having a night feed and this is a good feed for stimulating lactation.
But it will be extremely tiring for you, broken nights, driving 130 miles. The idea of adding another 130 miles and rushing back in your lunch break will be too much. Sorry can't see that working.
Having a new born baby is exhausting without adding extra strain.
If you are going back to work at six weeks then make it as easy as possible.
You need to put yourself first - happy mum happy baby.

MargeryDaw Tue 09-Dec-14 11:20:33

A childminder near work would probably be best I'd imagine, and for an April/May start you need to be looking now really. I would say though that at 6 weeks, and for some weeks after, baby will go through periods of growth spurts when they're likely to need more feeds than you'd ever think possible - certainly more than every 3-4 hours!

I don't mean for that to sound too negative about your hopes for your arrangements. You're obviously doing what you need to do for your career and baby (and I wouldn't judge anyone's decisions on that) but as someone who's breastfed 2 children (albeit on demand so having a baby in a routine may be different) I thought I would let you know what the reality of the early days can be like.

Good luck.

MargeryDaw Tue 09-Dec-14 11:22:38

Cross post - expressed milk could be a good option for when baby needs more but you will also need to factor doing the expressing into your day/week which can be difficult and exhausting in itself

nihatsgirl Tue 09-Dec-14 11:29:09

I am looking at a childminder or nanny within 3 miles of my work

nihatsgirl Tue 09-Dec-14 11:32:27

Thanks for your replies.

I understand what your mean. I have 2 older kids who were breastfed on demand. I have to go for these 2 days as its a contract I recently got and can't take a long period off away from.

eeyore12 Tue 09-Dec-14 11:42:40

I would say you def need someone near work if you want to feed at lunch time. But that is a long time in a day for a baby to be in a car for, even on a motorway you are talking at least a hour each way and they recommend a new born/young baby doesn't spend more than a hour or so in a car seat at a time for they spine etc, so I do think a nanny at home with expressed milk may be the way to go, would the hours be longer then though as I assume the above hours are for the times you are at work not away from home, also a nanny could care for your other children if they need it. A lot of parents work a good hour or so away from home ie work in london and live in the suburbs so getting back in a hurry is somethingost parents can't do as such and the nanny would know this.

I think I would go for a nanny ( both as a nanny and a mum of a now 2 yr old) just so baby could have a good routine at home with expressed milk which will hopefully make nights easier so you get some rest then as well.

If by any chance near Surrey I would be very interested in talking more as have lots of young baby experience and would be looking for a new post soon.

Good luck with your decision

FlorenceMattell Tue 09-Dec-14 11:54:27

Agree not a good idea long periods in a car seat. But it is not recommended because it can affect baby's breathing and not because it damages the spine.
OP baby will be fine to be left either with a nanny or childminder. Baby will adapt to you not breastfeeding during that time.
You might need to express at work.
You are the one who will need TLC so factor it in. If you have 90 minute lunch hours have a sleep or book a massage.

HSMMaCM Tue 09-Dec-14 13:24:04

A nanny at home might be best, where nanny can use your expressed milk whenever baby needs it.

One of my mindees used to be fed by his mum at lunchtime, but their home and work and me are very close. He was Sonetines asleep when she came and had a dream feed. She fed him in a quiet room in my house, so the other mindees Werent disturbed by her presence.

Do whatever feels right to you, because it's your time and your baby.

busyDays Tue 09-Dec-14 13:32:58

I think you will struggle to find a childminder who would be happy for you to pop in every day at lunch time. I am all for breastfeeding and breastfed my own children but this would be too much even for me, never mind about all the childminders who see bottle feeding as the norm. 12:00-13:30 is a very busy time of day, preschool runs often fall at that time and there are multiple children to feed plus settle down for naps. Having a parent popping in would feel like quite an intrusion when I'm dashing around like mad trying to get everyone sorted. Plus in the school holidays we go out for day trips and take a packed lunch so wouldn't be home. Do ask around though, as you might get lucky and find one who would do it.

nihatsgirl Tue 09-Dec-14 13:46:01

I hoped this would work with a local childminder. I have been cautioned though as the timings would not suit, being a busy period etc.
Nanny's typically work at home though? So that would mean me leaving baby for a 10 hour day. I need to rethink this. Nursery is unlikely to work right? My main concern is leaving baby so far away for so long

holz202 Tue 09-Dec-14 13:48:09

Hi could i ask where abouts you work i may be able to help please email me on holz20@hotmail.co.uk

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 09-Dec-14 13:52:46

For that level of control and prescription of how you want the job done you need a nanny. A live out nanny who will come with you into work would work. Can you accommodate that?

A childminder will have other mindees and priorities. A nanny will work just for you and will also take the baby when s/he is poorly.

I popped in to bf my baby at nursery but she was 10 months old. A 6 week old will still be feeding every 3-4 hours.

kathryng90 Tue 09-Dec-14 15:45:34

Cm here I have supported mums in returning to work with v young bf babies from 6 weeks. It's possible but hard work for mum! I gave expressed milk in the morning mum came on lunch break and I gave another expressed bottle pm. Have also had bottle refusing fb babies. Feeding expressed milk to a tiny baby from a syringe or spoon is time consuming!

nihatsgirl Tue 09-Dec-14 15:54:20

Thanks. I think I will need to look fora nanny. My concern with that is u would still prefer one near where I work. Thanks I will email you.
I work in Maidstone.

eeyore12 Tue 09-Dec-14 16:01:24

Could you find a nanny who would then bring baby to you at work for the lunch period and have a break themselves. It still means baby being in the car a lot but may be less time at lunchtime then morning and evening due to not being rush hour. You would need to provide a car for the nanny to use or pay mileage costs though which at that distance would soon add up. A nursery near work could work for you as they should be ok with you coming and taking over for that lunch period until baby is a little older at least. Good luck

MaryWestmacott Tue 09-Dec-14 16:18:14

I worked with a woman who needed to return to work at 5 months (she was on track for partnership and really couldn't have more time out) but had a DC who had bad allergies so had to be breast fed. She expressed daily and had a mini fridge in her office, the nanny brought the baby in some days. Would that be an option.

Cindy34 Tue 09-Dec-14 16:52:03

A nanny works at your home, so how can that work - they will be a long way from your work.

A childminder very near your work might work out short term.

How long is the contract for, would you be ending it soon and then get a job near home?

Babies adapt well usually having breast from mum, bottle from carer. You could use EBM if you want to express at work.

Stripylikeatiger Tue 09-Dec-14 17:05:37

Could you look into baby groups local to your work? If you could find a nice group or class for a nanny and the baby to go to and then meet up with them at lunch, then the nanny could take the baby for a walk, potter around the shops, have coffee, go to soft play. At 6 weeks old I imagine the baby will be spending lots of time sleeping.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 09-Dec-14 17:07:21

Nannies are portable. They don't need to be tied to the op's home; they could be based in op's office if that's easier or a combination of home and office.

Sometimes it's quicker to just bring the baby in to the mother than express which can take a long time for some women.

nihatsgirl Tue 09-Dec-14 20:18:37

Thanks for all your replies. I will investigate a nursery closer to work. This is supposed to last only until December. Then the plan is to leave baby at home with my current minder when I return to all work full time. I will start actively looking as it appears this won't be as straightforward as I hoped

nannynick Tue 09-Dec-14 21:04:58

I think your ideal thing is a childminder very near work whom you could pop in to at lunchtime. A nursery very near work may also work so I would look at both nursery and childminder options very near to work and see what the individual providers would accommodate with regard to you doing lunchtime feed.
It's for 8 to 9 months so you need something that works for you and your baby, plus the care provider.
Certainly does not seem straightforward so I feel you are right to start looking at what is available locally to where you will be working.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 09-Dec-14 22:23:37

Maidstone is very near to blondesland smile

You won't find a nanny near work as nanny needs to work in your home
Not theirs (that a cm) unless you expect nanny to stay at your work - very unlikely

Unless rent a hotel room etc for nanny and your baby and you pop back whenever

ideally a cm or nursery near work would be nice but it's also a long car journey for your new born baby so think you need to work out how much you want to bf compared to baby being in car 2/3hrs a day

Any way you could express and baby have your milk the following day from
A Bottle and be at your home while you work?

6 weeks after giving birth and going back to work will be tough - esp as you are having a cs - you may find driving hard

dancingwitch Tue 09-Dec-14 22:30:39

Few nurseries take babies that young. They tend to wait until after the 16w jabs.
Whilst some cm will be very busy at that time of day, others may only have toddlers who may be napping then so could be less disruptive.
I know it sounds luducrous but you couldn't rent somewhere nearer to where you work, could you? Drive the 65 miles the night before you start work, sleep there, nanny arrives to that house, you have short commute etc.

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