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son playing up

(40 Posts)
HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 01:56:53

My son has been having meltdowns at home for a few months now. I've tried to get to the bottom of it and failed. His father has now experienced one and didn't deal.with it correctly. But there's nothing I can do about that as I'm seperated from him..my childminder has had twining the lastb wo weeks. My son becomes abusive and angry. My childminder did nothing at all to eliminate the problem and my son really upset her. She has asked for him to be taken to school for the next few days which I'm fine with although it's a bit of a pain. I'm now waiting for her decision. I don't know why I'm writing this. But being a single mum I don't really have anyone to talk to.

HSMMaCM Tue 25-Nov-14 06:56:21

How old is he?

HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 07:37:34

Seven

Sunna Tue 25-Nov-14 07:41:43

What do you expect the CM to do to "eliminate the problem"?

Iggi999 Tue 25-Nov-14 07:44:54

Bring the school on board too, sounds like you need a bit of support to get through this current problem.

HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 08:39:43

Eliviate. She did nothing to cause it. Coouldnt amend it.

HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 08:41:03

Already asked school to get involved. Waiting for the behavioural coordinator to contact me.

Sunna Tue 25-Nov-14 08:41:26

What do you think she could have done? Maybe she was at a loss in the face of the meltdown. If she decides to still have him you need to work out a strategy together.

HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 08:54:24

It's normal for seven year old to do this. But two in two weeks. I need to go to school tomorrow.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 25-Nov-14 08:57:24

Your childminder has had twins in the last two weeks? He's probably reacting to the change in circumstance.

Sunna Tue 25-Nov-14 09:02:11

It's not "normal" for seven year olds. It's quite rare by that age unless a child has additional needs.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 25-Nov-14 09:33:40

I read it that cm has had 2 meltdowns at hers in 2 weeks - not that she has had twins lol

What would you like cm to do?

If he is lashing out etc then she has to make sure the safety of her other mindees aren't at risk and of she feels they are she may give notice

Is there anything that triggers it off? Hunger tiredness frustration etc?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 25-Nov-14 10:16:50

What's 'twining' then? I'm confused nowgrin

HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 10:40:57

I think you will find that boys have more problems adapting to life than girls. My son has no additional needs. We havnt figured out a trigger. But im thinking sleep. Although all the kids had been to the same parties he was the only one to melt. He slept for13 hours last night. I talked to him. If I have to find another minder I'll be looking to move my daughter as well in september.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 25-Nov-14 10:42:54

I think you will find you are very wrong about boys finding it harder to adapt, completely varies from child to child.

Sunna Tue 25-Nov-14 10:46:58

I think you will find that boys have more problems adapting to life than girls.

Bollocks. I have 2 DSs (not meltdowns aged 7) and I taught for 40 years, a lot of the time I taught 7 year olds. His behaviour is not normal for 7, it really isn't.

drinkyourmilk Tue 25-Nov-14 10:53:00

Is he able to talk to you after his meltdown and explain what has upset him? You mention that you are a single mum? Is this recent? I can see that having an effect on behaviour. Its also coming to end of term-lots of kids seem to act up at this time.
I can't see many people backing the gender difference idea. Children are individuals.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 25-Nov-14 10:55:34

I remember ds having plenty of tantrums at 7, it was like he had a hormone burst then it settled down again. Boundaries and more boundaries worked for us.

HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 11:15:16

Every childbirth different I have a boy and a girl. He is the most chilled out loving child until he kicks off. He's worried about not doingbgood in English literature. He's scored Joseph in the school.play and thinks all the kids will stare at him. I reassured him he isbgood and wouldn't have been chosen for it if hebwasnt. He's a bit of a perfectionist. Alot like his father. I split from my ex three years ago.

HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 11:16:38

Oh and having talked to a freind who's a childbpsychologist shebstates it's rare teachers would ever see a child like this. My son teacher thought I was lying.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 25-Nov-14 11:23:33

Bit of a sweeping statement that a teacher would never see a child like yours,teachers tend to be exposed to all sorts of behaviour due to the nature of the job. That's also a really unhelpful comment to make too worried parent especially from a child psychologist.

nilbyname Tue 25-Nov-14 11:29:25

I'm not sure why you've posted?

You're posts seem quite clipped and as though you've found fault with the cm.

A 7 year old having melt downs---- what does that entail?

I've seen my sons friebds lose it.... They have what is an awful lot like a temper tantrum and get sent away to cool off- then the reason they kicked off becomes apparent.

HSMMaCM Tue 25-Nov-14 11:29:55

So, had he been staying up late at parties? Is that why?

HowamIgoingtocope Tue 25-Nov-14 11:39:25

Inching so the parties thats one point. I havnt found any fault with the cm at all. I've known her 5 years and she's amazing. But Its logistally impossible for me to drop two children at two locations.. I posted for support. I have no one to talk to.

nilbyname Tue 25-Nov-14 11:55:20

I think a seven year old that throws a woby isn't that rare.

Is your childminder unable to cope?

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