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nanny is pregnant :(

(59 Posts)
mum10923 Tue 18-Nov-14 16:05:37

Our nanny announced yesterday that she is pregnant! She's only 22 and I never expected this to happen! I'm gutted but guess there's not much I can do. She's only been with her boyfriend for a short time so really unexpected. She says she is 12 weeks and suffering with sickness so she might need time off, but I can't take any time off as my job is very demanding and stressful, so I've told her she'll still need to come in but just take it easy.. It's just really thrown a spanner in the works as we rely on her a lot!

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 18-Nov-14 16:34:42

If she needs to take time off then she has too and you will have to find cover

Yes it's annoying when nannies get preg hmm but she has every right to get pregnant planned or not

Maybe she hasn't been with her bf for long but accidents happens. Let's hope they stay together

Let's hope your employer didn't think the same about you when you were preg

I hope you said congrats and that you will support her even if doesn't come back with baby

luckynumbereleven Tue 18-Nov-14 16:39:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chasingtherainbow Tue 18-Nov-14 17:46:08

I actually don't even know what to say to this! Other than yab very unreasonable.

Adayinthelife Tue 18-Nov-14 17:48:23

Planned or unplanned, she has every right to be pregnant. She also has every right to have time off if she is unwell due to her pregnancy. I appreciate it may make things very, very difficult for you - but there's nothing you can do!

Unexpected Tue 18-Nov-14 19:49:44

You can't demand that she come in regardless of how she is feeling. If she was not pregnant, what would you do if she had D&V or shingles or broke her leg? You would have to have some emergency cover in place for that anyway. I know (as an ex-nanny employer) that it's horribly stressful if you think your nanny is going to be off with illness, bereavement etc but she's a human being too you know. How would you feel if your employer had demanded that you be in work regardless of how you were feeling when pregnant/ill?

HowsTheSerenity Tue 18-Nov-14 19:54:07

So if you were pregnant would your boss demand that you come into work even if you felt unwell?

I understand it's stressful for you as an employer but that's partnof being one. Tell her congratulations and get your contingency plan ready for when she leaves.

PotteringAlong Tue 18-Nov-14 19:54:41

You told her she has to work even if she's ill?! Surely dodgy ground legally?

Bowlersarm Tue 18-Nov-14 19:59:28

Blimey harsh responses. I think it's hard for you OP.

ginnycreeper5 Tue 18-Nov-14 20:03:09

My friend has nannies. She always tries to employ older nannies so there is less chance of this happening.
Not that that's being much help to you OP.

ginnycreeper5 Tue 18-Nov-14 20:04:11

Meant to say friend has employed various nannies over the years and tends to go for older nannies.

VinoTime Tue 18-Nov-14 20:16:05

You are being massively unfair to the poor woman. Would you be expected to crawl into work with a really bad bout of morning sickness and perform well, OP? I couldn't move away from the toilet for the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy. I could barely look after myself for feeling so terrible, let alone look after somebody's children.

If she needs time off, she needs time off. You can't ban her from being ill.

OhReallyDear Tue 18-Nov-14 22:15:04

I hope that she is going to throw up on your couch and carpet and that the smell won't go away.

I am gross, I know..

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 18-Nov-14 22:22:47

Don't think replies are harsh

Op said her job is demanding and can't take time off - and insists nanny should go in regardless

well that's normal for most of my employers - ie busy jobs - but when I needed time off when my husband and mum died unexpectedly they gave it to me without a second thought

Nanniea are only human and sometimes need time off

HowsTheSerenity Wed 19-Nov-14 00:06:39

They are not harsh replies I agree. The OP has a busy job. Nannying is not all pixies and play dough either.

What if the original post read as:
AIBU to be cross with my boss? I'm a nanny for a busy family.mi just told my boss I'm pregnant. I have bad morning sickness and am not functioning at 100%. My boss has told me I still have to go to work as she is too busy and can't take time to stay home or find a replacement.

Tapestry12 Wed 19-Nov-14 05:46:38

OP, I am sure it will work out for you. It just seems a big problem at the moment.

Do the maternity rights mean the nanny gets paid if off sick with pregnancy related illness?

Is there an insurance an employer can take out to cover maternity leave, I wonder?

Tapestry12 Wed 19-Nov-14 05:59:18

I've just read that the employer can claim back SMP. That is good.

MooseyMouse Wed 19-Nov-14 07:25:10

Our nanny is pregnant.

Nannies are employees and are entitled to the same maternity rights as others. If you aren't willing to abide by this perhaps a nursery would have been a better option.

I think you're on dodgy ground morally and legally.

We're making arrangements around our nanny's rights and of course it isn't convenient but all employers have to do it for all staff. I expect it was done for you. It was certainly done for me. BTW sorting out statutory maternity pay was easy and the cost is covered by the government.

I feel surprised when I read this board and see how badly some employers attempt to treat their nannies.

Ginny by your friend avoiding employing women of a certain age in case they get pregnant, she is breaking the law.

rootypig Wed 19-Nov-14 07:27:14

Nannies are employees and are entitled to the same maternity rights as others. If you aren't willing to abide by this perhaps a nursery would have been a better option.


Moniker1 Wed 19-Nov-14 07:32:21

What a nightmare. Not sure how things pan out for you as the employer.

Perhaps you can look on Legal for advice on how to handle this.

northernlurker Wed 19-Nov-14 07:40:16

Employers have a legal obligation to treat nannies fairly yes EVEN pregnant nannies. So Op you need to come up with a plan because you cannot insist a pregnant, sick nanny comes to work because otherwise it puts you out. Dare I ask how you plan to cover her leave? You know she will need time off for scans and appointments too?

Trapper Wed 19-Nov-14 07:45:05

Your nanny is an employee and is allowed to be sick and allowed to be pregnant. She is allowed time off for pregnancy related illness, plus time for doctor/midwife/hospital appointments. She will also be entitled to maternity pay. Please remember that whilst this is frustrating for you, she is a young person who is pregnant and will need some support and flexibility from you, her employer.
Ginny, you may wish to let your friend know that age discrimination is illegal - and quite rightly so.

Iggi999 Wed 19-Nov-14 07:46:36

Can't believe you put a sad face after your thread title. Talk about only seeing things from your own point of view.
I'm gutted but guess there's not much I can do she's only twelve weeks, you could offer to pay for an abortion hmm

Swingball Wed 19-Nov-14 07:59:23

I work full time and understand your distresss I really do, but I also find the tone of the OP and the sad face upsetting.

You can't make her come in if she is sick. If she's 12 weeks then hopefully she might be past the worst of that anyway.

CurlsLDN Wed 19-Nov-14 08:08:53

Surely this is a wind up?

In case it isn't, op if you were to insist she comes in when she is suffering maternity related illness you would be breaking the law.

Furthermore, if something were to happen to the baby she could sue you, for breaking the law and putting her under undue stress.

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