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Devastated by nanny resigning

(18 Posts)
chandellina Mon 03-Nov-14 12:44:45

Our much loved nanny of 5+ years has resigned, saying she hates to do it, has always been happy with us, but has been offered more money and a longer-running job with a family she knows. Our youngest will be at school in two years (2016). I had hoped she would consider part time hours after that, but it sounds like she wants one more full-time five-year job before retiring.
I am offering to match any money. Any other ideas on how I can convince her to stay?

holeinmyheart Mon 03-Nov-14 13:04:55

I don't think you can change her mind if she want to have another five year run. It sounds as though she just wants a change.
It is never as bad as you think it is going to be.
I hated any of them leaving, but the next ones usually turned out to be just as nice. So relax, give her a nice parting present and say she is always welcome at your house and get on with selecting the next one. Xx

BonaDea Mon 03-Nov-14 13:06:50

You could match the money and offer her more than just part time hours if she would consider doing more of a house keeper role (if you can afford it). It does seem like a lot of disruption for you but as said above, no doubt you will find someone else great.

Good luck. I have the occasional nightmare about our nanny resigning, as she is so great for us!

chandellina Mon 03-Nov-14 13:48:41

I just wish she could see out her time with us. She knows she is cutting it short (she has held other jobs until the children were at school, and has been a housekeeper too), and leaving our not quite 3 year old daughter in a tricky spot. (She has a language development/speech problem and is extremely shy and fearful of new people.)

I'm going to make a last ditch effort tonight. I'm also not that chuffed about the way she resigned - to my partner this morning. And then I had to call her. (she apologised for doing it this way though.)

Yerazig Mon 03-Nov-14 14:48:59

Look at it this way she has spent a lovely 5years with you guys and clearly become one of the family. She has obviously thought it through and must feel it's the right time to move on. But seriously don't take it personally at the end of the day she is an still an employee I think that's what you still need to remember and everyone has the right to move on. I'm sure if she is as lovely as you think I'm sure she still want to see you guys on occasions if she does end up leaving.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 03-Nov-14 15:12:35

There is no guarantee how long nanny jobs last for. Nice to do from baby to school and siblings but the new family may move - lose their job - decide to give up work etc and won't be a long term job

Tbh I'm surprised your nanng is leaving with another almost 2yrs till youngest at school

Silver lining - uou don't need to pay her huge redundancy as you would if you made her redundant in 2yrs

Please don't take it personally - in the end nannies can look for and accept other jobs

Hope you find a nice nanny to take over

flickyhairredlippy Mon 03-Nov-14 16:08:23

Really try hard not to make this personal. It's so hard as a nanny to leave as it is. She isn't doing this to hurt you or put you in a difficult situation. As said above. You can offer to match the offer, and I'd ask her nicely but openly if there is anything that has made her want to move on, are there issues etc? It may be something has been niggling her a while and she has gotten fed up and wants to move on. Ultimately she may have made her decision and is ready to go.. If so.. a nice leaving present, a warm hug and good terms is the best way forward.

LondonLocal Mon 03-Nov-14 16:46:55

Have another baby grin

hollie84 Mon 03-Nov-14 16:48:20

What was wrong with the way she resigned?

Jinxxx Mon 03-Nov-14 18:06:50

It may well be true that she wants to get one more five year stint in before retiring, and if you have already indicated that you will want her to go part time in a couple of years, she may know that will not suit her but fear that her prospects of getting a suitable new job later for only three years are uncertain. Certainly if she has had a good offer now, you must understand why she might take it. I think you need to look at it from her point of view and not take it personally. There may be other factors which are making the decision to leave easier - you could try asking her if anything you could change would make a difference, but if it is just a better fit to her personal requirements that is just the way it is. It's not like she's walked out without notice in the middle of a crisis.

Itsfab Mon 03-Nov-14 19:33:38

How lovely to read about a family who is happy with their nanny.

<makes me hanker for a nanny job again, shame I can't>.

How did the job offer come about?

LightTripper Mon 03-Nov-14 20:03:41

Bear in mind it can be very hard for a nanny to find a time to resign when the children aren't there, nobody is in a rush, etc etc. There probably wasn't a good way to do it really, and at least this way you can think about what to say before you see her.

Also bear in mind for her own security she may well have signed a contract, and likely has been agonising about the move: there may not be anything you can do. I'm sure its nothing personal: in the end if it ensures she doesn't have a period of months looking for the right "last job" you can see why it is attractive to her, however hard it will be for her to leave.

chandellina Tue 04-Nov-14 19:39:19

thanks everyone. I do understand her thinking, now that I've become a little less hysterical (was teary eyed most of yesterday) and it sounds like a plum assignment. It's for one of her former charges, who now has her own baby and wants the nanny to help raise it and future children.

It's just so tough - she is like family. She has helped us raise our children and they love her. We've had very little friction over the years and I've always felt very lucky to have found her. And now it's over .... sob.

LightTripper Tue 04-Nov-14 20:00:56

Poor you. Must be so hard. Not surprising to have a negative first reaction. I'm sure you will find somebody fab, and she obviously isn't a nanny who will willingly disappear from her charges' lives!
brew brew brew

flickyhairredlippy Tue 04-Nov-14 20:36:15

Awww. I wish my employers were as vocal about how much they cared or liked me!

pinkbluepinkblue Wed 05-Nov-14 09:49:29

I guess the only thing that may persuade her to stay is 5yrs more guaranteed with you & at the same rate of pay as the new job for those 5yrs. Probably a very expensive way of keeping her though (& she still might not accept even if you did offer this).

ssd Wed 05-Nov-14 10:07:28

It sounds like an offer she couldn't turn down

she sounds lovely though

Aridane Wed 05-Nov-14 11:54:22

How lovely for nanny that a former charge now wants her own children to be looked after by the nanny

Sorry for you though

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