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Au Pair for a six month old baby?

(22 Posts)
Overtiredbackagain Tue 28-Oct-14 14:45:50

I am just trying to work out childcare. I already have two beautiful DC, 9 and 5, and am (just found out) expecting number three with my new partner. Am still very shocked and panicking over logistics.

We are totally skint and I would need to return to work once my maternity pay stops at around 6 months. A good friend of mine has always used au pairs for her childcare, so I was wondering if au pairs care for young babies?

I could probably afford my current arrangements whereby DC go to breakfast club and then after school club, but I can't afford a nursery or nanny for DC3 - my head is going to explode sad

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 28-Oct-14 14:49:35

Aps are not meant to have sole charge of under 2's and generally work 25hrs a week over 5days - ie 7--9 and 3--6 - basically before and after school care

So in your circumstances no. You will need to look at other options. Cm are cheaper then nannies tho a nwoc or a younger nanny will be cheaper then a older /experienced nanny without children

FreckledLeopard Tue 28-Oct-14 14:50:34

Au pairs aren't supposed to have sole charge of children under 3, and shouldn't work more than 25 hours per week so wouldn't cover full-time childcare anyway, unfortunately. In theory, you could probably find someone willing to do it (depending on where you are in the country) but if you pay them an au pair rate then you're likely to get terrible quality childcare and run risk that they won't know what they're doing.

Au pairs live in too - if you have a spare room, could you maybe get a lodger to help cover costs?

Overtiredbackagain Tue 28-Oct-14 14:53:15

Thank you ladies, as I suspected but obviously what the best I can afford.

Can I ask what a nwoc is - do you mean newly qualified?

I could think about an au pair for my eldest two though, that would probably be cheaper than what I currently pay.

OhReallyDear Tue 28-Oct-14 14:56:16

Would you let your 6 month old baby to an inexperienced person who just arrived in a new country? wink

Also are you planning to make her work full time? An Au pair doesn't work full time

well I am not helping you there. First congrats (and breathe grin ) . I don't think an Au pair is a good choice, unless she is an older Au pair, with baby experience/qualification, and she has limited time with the baby(for example , drop off/pick up from childminder until you come back an hour or two later).

She could come before the end of your maternity leave to spend time with baby before you go back to work.

If you want someone full time, who will drop the kids off to school, take care of the baby during the day, get the kids back from school, paid £100 a week, that's not possible that's slavery

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 28-Oct-14 14:56:29

Nwoc - nanny with own child smile

Overtiredbackagain Tue 28-Oct-14 15:17:20

I'm just panicking, and extremely shocked!

Guess I have eight months to get my head around it!

Heels99 Tue 28-Oct-14 15:20:21

Presumably partner will also pay the childcare costs? Not just you?

Spindelina Tue 28-Oct-14 15:22:42

Save the money from breakfast and after school clubs and get a live-in nanny?

Sort of similar to an au pair in that they live in your house, but they are an employee and more likely to be qualified / experienced. You pay less cash because the accommodation is part of the pay.

Nanny share might be another option - do you know anyone else with small children?

Overtiredbackagain Tue 28-Oct-14 15:26:48

Of course he will, I'm just trying to get my head around it.

Fulltime nursery in my area is £950 a month - ouch!

Would a live-in nanny care for all three children?

Spindelina Tue 28-Oct-14 15:35:40

Yes, a nanny (of any description) would care for all three children, including school holidays and when a child is off sick.

Overtiredbackagain Tue 28-Oct-14 15:47:38

I guess that will be an option for us then, will have to knuckle down and see if I can clear some debt and get some money behind us. grin

Messygirl Tue 28-Oct-14 17:04:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Messygirl Tue 28-Oct-14 17:05:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

schlafenfreude Tue 28-Oct-14 18:04:59

If you want FT childcare you're not going to be paying AP rates of £70 a week, which then means that the choice is between someone who may be qualified in their own country and may speak decent English BUT may also feel homesick or isolated and not stick it out or for the sane money a newly qualified live in nanny who will be younger and less experienced, possibly still homesick but easier to get home and more likely to be focused on nannying as a career so more motivated to stick it out. Not an easy choice.

You need to do the sums and work out what you can afford really and whether you can have someone live in.

lovelynannytobe Tue 28-Oct-14 18:31:51

If you are skint as you say you will be eligible for help with payments towards childcare .... up to 70% of the cost. The childcare must be Ofsted registered so you're looking at nanny, live in nanny, childminder or nursery.
An au pair for a baby? Never in a million years!

DearGirl Tue 28-Oct-14 18:38:16

I am a qualified nanny with several years experience - yet even I found some days with a 6 month old baby; lonely, stressful, monotonous. However I had the support of a nanny network, spoke the same language as my bosses so was able to be contactable to ease their worries or contact them/chat to them about the baby - weaning issues, behaviour, chat about medical problems/concerns, give medicine etc etc.

I think it could be extremely stressful for a foreigner to deal with a small uncomunicative baby, with no support network.

Overtiredbackagain Tue 28-Oct-14 19:29:38

Thanks all, will forget the au pair idea and explore other options.

I'm still very much shellshocked!

meadowquark Tue 28-Oct-14 21:26:57

Congratulations! I don't know about your area, but in my area breakfast and afterschool club for 2 children full-time is about 720 pounds. Aupair is about 450 pounds including food, extras etc. If you have the space, I would look for aupair for your older two, and full-time nursery for your little one, so you can have a back up if you delay from work. Also apply for tax credits (universal credits) and you can use it towards the baby's childcare. I can imagine what shock it could be, I have two of my own and just came out of massive childcare bills.

Overtiredbackagain Wed 29-Oct-14 06:33:46

Seriously, I'm 40, never thought I would be in this position again. I split and subsequently divorced two years ago from DC dad. My new partner is younger than me, but we are very happy together and slowing getting used to the idea of being parents together.

Childcare I have no idea. I only get a tiny proportion of tax credits now due to the amount of child care I pay, am massively in debt from ex, partner doesn't earn great and I earn too much for additional help.

But we'll cope somehow smile

Artandco Sat 01-Nov-14 09:12:41

I would say a live in nanny is probably best. Depends on where you live, but assuming outside of London £300-400 a week.

You could also look at ways of reducing hours needed. Could you start work later in morning and partner earlier, or reverse. And then one finish earlier and one later. That way instead of needing childcare say 8-6pm, you could reduce to 10-4pm or similar.

nannynick Sat 01-Nov-14 15:13:34

Live in nanny could be £1500 a month plus other costs such as food and losing privacy in your home.
Give careful thought to if you want someone living at your home 24/7.

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