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14 month old baby cries a lot of the time and doesn't really seem to settle much!!

(17 Posts)
CrazyBabies Thu 10-Jul-14 11:37:21

I have been been looking after a little girl who turned 1 in May. I have looked after her since April and I'm really struggling.
I have childminded for nearly 10 years and have never come across this situation.
From the minute she is dropped of at 7.45, she cries and crawls around following me. She also has a high pitched scream every now and then.
I look after her 3 year sister who is very different and a joy to look after.
The baby never seems happy, and I have seen the same kind of crying with her mum.
It's just so so draining.
I have other children to care for and it's hard in the morning as I have my own children to get ready for school and minded children to take to playschool. It's as if she wants to be held all the time. She doesn't really smile much either.
I know the family well as I have looked after the other child for a while.
I live in a village and feel it would be really awkward to give notice, but its making me really miserable and when I wake up on the days I look after this family I feel really crap!!
I don't know what to do? I really want to give it a go and think that perhaps when she starts walking she may be a bit more content. Or am I kidding myself.

HSMMaCM Thu 10-Jul-14 14:21:20

Some children take longer than others to settle. I've had a couple like this, who have calmed down over time, but it can be very tiring.

PedlarsSpanner Thu 10-Jul-14 16:16:41

Can you sling her to you? A soft sling not a rigid one.

ACM88 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:00:33

Yes I would suggest popping her in a sling so you have still got your hands free. This can then be gradually taken away.

Try holding her hand, keep her physically close when playing, and talking to her. This really settles an unhappy child. Ask if mom has 15/20mins one morning to stick around, so she isn't just rushing off as soon as she drops off.

Quiet home activities in the morning, and then outdoors in afternoon. It will get better- some children take longer to settle in than others. I often found calming music in background helped, not just for child, but to keep me sane aswell!

CrazyBabies Thu 10-Jul-14 17:01:39

Hi, thanks for your replies. I used a sling in the first couple of weeks but she is quite big for her age and is very heavy, and I would only be able to do this for 20 min or so.
Not sure this is separation anxiety as she is very unsettled with her mum. Has never really appeared that happy.

ACM88 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:10:57

Some children are definitely naturally happier than others, but children don't just cry all day long for weeks, or months. Has she been like this since April?

Has mom taken her to see GP? I would think there was more of an underlying reason if she is like this with mom too! Don't worry, you can work together to overcome whatever it is.

Perhaps keep a diary, and ask mom to do the same- that way you can see if there is a pattern?

pleasestophidingskinnygirl Thu 10-Jul-14 17:15:32

I Could have wrote your post last year, I thought I was losing my marbles and was embarrassed to say anything in case people thought I was not capable of my job.
I used to put her in the high chair in the morning after a cuddle and just let her watch what was going on around her, I found this helped her relax. I was then able to potter around and get what I needed done. I also found that I stuck to feeding And sleep routine religiously and this was an enormous help. She was a doll after her snooze not so much right before it ( but then i'm not exactly ms personality when tired myself!)
I did carry her around though an awful lot, way more than any of my ownsad

italksense Thu 10-Jul-14 17:49:49

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

adsy Thu 10-Jul-14 18:54:36

WTF are you on about italksense??!!!
Is this "the Wire" method of childcare?

italksense Thu 10-Jul-14 19:21:01

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 10-Jul-14 19:35:05

I think that's from the website that 'streets up' text from any website. It's highly amusing, but probably not on a thread like this.

I do like the idea of rapping to soothe her though. It's original if nothing else.

MrTumblesSpottyHag Thu 10-Jul-14 19:37:42

Most ironic username ever? confused

PhoebeMcPeePee Thu 10-Jul-14 22:52:37

Sorry nothing helpful to add but italksense has brightened up my evening no end grin

Crying with laughter at italksense.

Sorry op. That does sound really wearing for you after several months.

CrazyBabies Thu 10-Jul-14 23:19:43

MrTumbles, ironic user name? Is that me, CrazyBabies or italksense? Or both of us?
Very funny wink

Marylou62 Fri 11-Jul-14 07:42:38

If you are NOT thinking about giving notice and as you say, trying to give it a go, I would try and be a bit more organized on the days she comes...can you have your own DCs ready before she comes....can you ask mum if she can come a bit later for a while? I would then just sit in the middle of floor and just spend all day cuddling, and playing. I know there will be times when you have to get up to get lunch etc...then I would ignore. I looked after one of these and it did get better when he was walking. It is draining...

CrazyBabies Fri 11-Jul-14 10:18:37

Thanks Marylou62. Have been thinking about what you have said. Think I will have a few little ideas up my sleep so when she arrives I am ready for her. Think I will try sitting her in her highchair with say a few raisins, dried cereal she can feed herself, highchair toys. Etc. Also she likes a bottle of milk lying on the sofa with cushions on floor just in case she rolls!.
She is usually at her worst first think, perhaps as this is the busiest time of the day, and its all rush rush rush.
She definitely settles when she is getting quality time, and will be putting regular time aside for just her.

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