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advice/comments?........

(17 Posts)
madboob Fri 28-Mar-14 16:03:28

childminder forgot to pick up my son (4) from pre-school at lunchtime today. Pre-school phoned me after 20mins to see who was meant to be collecting him, I phoned CM & no answer so I got to pre-school within 10mins of their call - luckily I wasn't too far away.

CM eventually phoned me 1hr 20mins after what was meant to be pick-up time. She forgot to collect him.

Now I am quite pleased that she was honest rather than making up some random bullsh*t excuse, DS was fine at pre-school, I got there quickly etc. BUT, she forgot to pick up my child!!!!!

She was very apologetic, said she felt awful etc. By the time I spoke to her my anger had eased off a bit, but I still feel a bit stunned by it.

She has him one day per week (I am on mat leave), we had swapped days this week at my request but she was said this was fine - last discussed on Tuesday of this week. I nearly text her this morning to remind her, but in the end didn't.

DS has been going to her for 3.5yrs, she hasn't forgotten him before (thank God), he loves her, her & her DCs love DS, it isn't the most structured setting & there is a fair bit of TV/chicken nuggets but because he is only ever there max of 2 days pw I don't mind this.

BUT, she forgot my child!!!! I don't know what to think about it, she is only human & people mess up, but...... I could easily have been up to an hour away (sometimes am this far away on CM days), DH works 30mins from nursery, my parents are local but not always at home).

Opinions/thoughts/comments/what would you do (if anything)........

leeloo1 Fri 28-Mar-14 16:14:43

I think it was a one-off in 3.5 years, she apologised (& I assume has/will reimburse you) so let it go.

Its probably happened because you swapped days, so she was out of routine.

grabaspoon Fri 28-Mar-14 17:00:30

I would say it probably happened because of the change in days

Takesalongtime Fri 28-Mar-14 18:06:25

It's an accident. We all make errors. She felt awful. I have a cm friend who forgot one from school once (luckily mum was fine & understood that she only got him 1day a wk). I have lots of different children coming & going that an accident could happen & as you say you had swapped days. I know you feel awful for ds but as you say he was fine at nursery. I really don't think it will be happening again. She will feel terrible

Marylou62 Fri 28-Mar-14 18:27:01

As an x childminder and a nanny, this is (after serious accidents) my biggest fear, especially since with erratic hours it could be so easy. I now put everything in my phone with an alarm set 1 hour before. Could you suggest this for your peace of mind? But everyone makes mistakes and I would hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her and let it go.

ADishBestEatenCold Fri 28-Mar-14 19:04:20

If it helps, I don't think she will ever forget again!

Understand how you feel though, so perhaps look at the system for changing days. Maybe any changes should be confirmed by text on the morning of the change.

Also why didn't she answer her phone. Is it a mobile? Does she not take it out with her?

Lucylouby Fri 28-Mar-14 19:20:39

Im a cm and this a major fear of mine. She has apologised and I believe that she will feel awful, I know I would. Don't take it personally, I reckon it's the change of day that has led to her error. I'm sure she won't forget again.

madboob Fri 28-Mar-14 21:41:24

Thanks for the messages I have decided to let it go, I can totally see how it happened & no harm was done. I won't ever forget, but no doubt she won't either and I would think that this will be the first & last time that it happens!

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 28-Mar-14 23:41:46

Tbh I'm not sure now she can forget a child regardless of swapping days

I vary what days I work at the moment and I havnt ever forgotten a charge !!!

Assume you took to nursery and cm was meant to pick him
Up at 12

And why didn't she answer her phone. Assume school kept trying her then rang you

NannyK7H Sat 29-Mar-14 09:23:35

I'm a nanny and did forget once, and still feel awful! Well, more didn't realise the time than forgot...I knew I had to collect oldest charge but thought it was earlier in the afternoon than it was!
I was with youngest charge and we were sat on the playroom floor sorting through toys to chuck/keep. I thought we'd been sat there 10 minutes but had been there an hour! Then youngest charge said he needed the loo so while he was singing away to himself on the loo, I checked the time and it was one minute past pickup. Luckily we lived a minute's walk away so no one actually noticed except a close friend who wondered why I wasn't 10 minutes early as normal! (And youngest charge who thought it was hilarious I carried him down the drive with his hands still wet!)
Still felt awful though. But I would have had my phone on me, that's the only difference!

busyDays Sat 29-Mar-14 19:16:08

I did the opposite last week and completely forgot that a mindee wasn't coming to me. It was also a day swap and mum had let me know but it slipped my mind. Mum usually hands the mindee over to me at the school gates rather than bringing her to my house and I stood there waiting for ages until I suddenly remembered that she wasn't coming that day. I felt pretty silly but no harm was done. confused

Tanith Sun 30-Mar-14 13:12:43

I've had a parent who forgot we were closed and failed to pick up a child from school. Being out of routine can make it easy to forget and I use my phone as a reminder, too.

Blondes, you've only been looking after one family at a time, though. Imagine up to 6 different families, all changing days and arrangements, often verbally as they're going out of the door.
I insist on written requests and emphasise that, if I haven't replied to their request, they shouldn't assume it's been booked. Otherwise, I'd never know where I was!!

Marylou62 Sun 30-Mar-14 14:34:11

I childminded a boy from 11 weeks till he was nearly 5, 5 days a week, 8am till 6pm. Sometimes his dad picked him up early on a Friday. I often had a heart stopping moment when I 'lost' him in the park then remembered that I didn't actually have him with me.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 30-Mar-14 15:14:47

at the moment i temp, so i have 3 diff famillies/school runs/days over the past few weeks

one week i had 5 diff jobs/famillies, diff one every day, now that kept me on my toes grin

Tanith Sun 30-Mar-14 20:09:00

Sounds hectic grin

I really meant up to 6 families on the same day - and some do have a habit of telling us "by the way..." just as they're leaving. You can imagine the chaos if we didn't write everything down!

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 30-Mar-14 22:46:15

sure my head would explode if i had 6 famillie a day plus would be illegal as a nanny rofl

def need things written down smile

ElectricalBanana Sun 30-Mar-14 22:53:24

I dropped my kids off at school one morning.. Didn't notice how quiet it was. Got a call in my office as I walked in the door... From a teacher to tell me

It was an inset day

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