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Nanny nightmare!

(15 Posts)
Nannyr2 Thu 20-Mar-14 11:36:01

I currently nanny for 4 lovely children (5 if you include my own which I take along 3 days a week). The job itself started out great they are a lovely family and I desperately wanted the job. However, as time has gone on - it has been 6 months, I feel I am beginning to find more and more issues and would like a little advice from other nannies.

The father of the children is a school teacher, and is late home every night! ( which I find really hard to get my head around) although I know teachers don't finish work when the children go home and he has other things to do afterwards up until 5:30 (my finishing time) is adequate time to do this and they said at interview there won't be any reason for me to be later than that other than parents evenings etc. I feel this is really disrespectful as I have my own family and commitments after work. He does apologise every time, but is obviously not sorry. If I turned up late to work everyday, even if it was 5/10 minutes I'm sure they'd have something to say about it!

When I began the job i agreed to use my car, this is because I thought I was getting petrol allowance of all journeys including to and from school which is 5.5 miles away. In the contract they capped my mileage at 11 miles (it's 22 miles to school, 2 journeys returned) per day at a rate of 30p per mile which isn't even covering petrol costs. I also have had to fork out an extra £400 to upgrade to business insurance which they won't contribute to. When the situation was addressed the mother of the children said 'sorry we can't be more generous on that front and it is all in the contract'. I now want to change my car, which will mean not being able to use my new car for work purposes ( all the children won't fit in) and they have basically refused to let me do this and use their car which is sat on the drive all day ( she gets the train to work).

Also the father was quite harsh to me the other night in front of the older children ( I find this disrespectful and isn't really showing a good example of how they should treat me) saying that my tidying and drying the dishes/putting them away is becoming a bit of a problem (imagine said in annoyed mans voice ha!) I thought this was a basic duty of a nanny - to tidy after the children and can't really see why it would be such a problem. They are naturally quite messy and obviously too 'busy' to clean and tidy after themselves ( as I wash their dishes from the previous nights dinner hahaha!)

I am very fair to the family take the children out, to and from activities and school, clean up after the children (and parents!), do extra hours at short notice whenever asked and do overnight stays even though I do have my own family to care for and work 50 hours a week (at not much over minimum wage) with a partner who works away. I feel I am seriously at the end of my tether!

Thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read my enormous post/rant!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 20-Mar-14 11:43:40

Firstly you agreed to using your car /capping mileage (which is wrong) and 30p at the beginning ie it's in the contract - why did you agree to this if wasn't happy

Paying over £400 for business insurance is insane as way ott. Many add on for free but if there is a charge then employers should pay

Assume you must have a 7 seater to fit all kids in
If a car is there why can't you drive it?

Late - that's rude but maybe he didn't judge the traffic etc - and needs to change finishing time to 6pm

If the car issue and lateness is sorted would you stay?

I don't get the dish problem - what's his issue? And yes shouldn't speak to you like that

Ps I wouldn't be washing up their dishes either from night before

Nannyr2 Thu 20-Mar-14 11:57:21

To be honest I was foolish with the contract ( I knew the parents from before and believed everything would be above board). I didn't know how far the school was away- which I should of checked, at first they said it was a short drive from their house which I don't think it is ( it is no way within walking distance).
I am young and have only been driving for 3 years so presume that's why it's so high. Their car can't be used due to the possibility of the mother of children getting a new job sometime soon and having to drive to it, although she's still in interview stages and also this would incur a change in contract as I would have to take a lower salary.
I feel they are just generally too busy ( with 4 kids and full time jobs) and want me to fill in the gaps, but unfortunately I am not the children's parents/superwoman and I can't do everything!!
They have also been very strange with me since requesting that I change my car to something smaller.
I think I would stay if the issues could be resolved as I do have a really good relationship with the children and they are great! My DD absolutely loves it there.

Nannyowl Thu 20-Mar-14 12:45:25

I would look for another job. Then give notice. Personally can't stand penny pinching.
They should be paying all your mileage at 45p per mile. This amount allows for petrol and the extra wear and tear on the car etc.
as you agreed the contract now you can't change this bit. Does the contract say you will use your car?
I would put in writing (email) that your contracted hours are x and although you are flexible for parents evening/emergencies you would appreciate the father coming home in time. Or maybe they need to re write the contact to finish later.
I usually do empty dishwasher from the night before although technically not your responsibility you need it empty to reload.
Are they paying you the correct hourly rate? For four children should be high even with your own child.

nannynick Thu 20-Mar-14 13:03:05

If your real working hours are different to your contracted hours then an amendment to contracted hours needs to be agreed. This works both ways, so if hours were to reduce the contract could be amended by mutual consent, though some families will leave it so that there is some grace period for times when they are delayed in returning home.

If the real mileage of school run is 22 per day, then discussing change to the mileage cap is sensible. Employers do not have to pay 45p per mile, they can negotiate the rate, so if you accepted a lower figure then you will need to negotiate it at next opportunity, perhaps before September if you are term-time only.

Don't understand dishes issue. If they don't want you doing them, leave them.

Their finances may be very tight. It can be very hard for families to increase things even a little bit. Ultimately you need to look after Number1 YOU. So you need to consider how likely you are to get other work, how minor changes to current job could make it better.

expatinscotland Thu 20-Mar-14 13:09:44

I would get another job now and serve them notice. They are pisstakers. The lateness alone would put me off, the meanness about the car and his yelling, I'd have given notice right there.

Leave their dishes, you are not a maid!

Nannyr2 Thu 20-Mar-14 13:16:21

I am in the process of looking for a new job as I just don't see how the problem with the car can be rectified.
Contract doesn't specifically say I need to use my own car, it says 'if use of own car is required mileage will be paid...' Which I guess is open to interpretation but also at the parents discretion as to whether I'm required to use my car.
I empty dishwasher as well, but have started washing all pots by hand, that I use during the day so they have free use of dishwasher to put their dishes into, in theory to stop them leaving dirty dishes out for me ( but it doesn't work!)- as they only like it on once a day.
Tbh I think it is penny pinching and this makes me worry what will happen when I turn 21 and my wages need to go up to cover minimum wage. 3 children will then be at school and one 2yo at home so I worry it might then be cheaper for them to go to nurseries/after school clubs if it's about the money!
There are lots of issues right now. Thanks for your advice.
Also does anyone know about holidays? Am I right to be told exactly when I can take my holiday down to every single day? I have agreed to take the week off when they go on holiday as I thought this was fair.

Nannyr2 Thu 20-Mar-14 13:19:10

Ps - I am full time, even through school holidays when dad is home ( he finds it hard with the 4 altogether)

Sparklysilversequins Thu 20-Mar-14 13:45:47

My friend has four kids, one with SN
and she has THREE nannies, one full time, two part time. She says she would not expect one nanny to care for all four children.

Your employers sound like total knobs and I would be looking elsewhere pronto if I were you.

nannynick Thu 20-Mar-14 14:09:33

Employers can dictate when ALL holiday is taken. However that does not make for a good employer:employee relationship. Often what happens is that you come to an agreement to take some of it at the same time as your employers, some years you may even take all of it at the same time as them, especially if there are limits on when you can take leave such as trying to avoid term-time.

If working 5 days per week, full time, then you get a minimum of 5.6 weeks (28 days) holiday. If the hours per day vary, then you need to calculate in hours, rather than days. Your employer can give you more holiday than this but not less. Bank holidays if you do not work them need to be taken out of the annual leave entitlement. Holiday Entitlement

2plus1 Thu 20-Mar-14 14:32:48

The employer does not have to let you use their car. Just because it sits on the driveway all day, they may not be able to insure you on it, may not want it being used as an employees car etc. Not saying you would, but we allowed one nanny to use our car and it suffered more scratches and dents in a few months than the three years we had it. There was sun cream over the roof above the doors which damaged the paintwork and it was a tip inside. She never hoovered inside despite having three paid hours per day childfree and used her car to go visiting her friend/family during that time. Personally I wouldn't have our car for a nanny again. At the end of the day you agreed to use your car at the mileage in the contract. Price per mile can be negotiated up to 45p per mile which they did. If you change your car to one that wont be suitable then you will need to get to school by other means. Forcing your employers hand by changing your car wont go down well.
Lateness is not acceptable however so I feel this should be addressed by extra payment as necessary.

Nannyr2 Thu 20-Mar-14 14:36:06

Thanks nannynick. Yes all my holidays have to be taken in school holidays, a week at Easter week, Christmas week and two weeks at summer when they go on holiday plus bank hols so I am getting all my legal hols just annoying as special times ( my daughters birthday) I can't request to have off. sad

expatinscotland Thu 20-Mar-14 15:19:48

These people are taking advantage of you.

nannynick Thu 20-Mar-14 15:46:22

Having nannied for teachers (with 4 children), it is hard for them to take time off work at short notice. Sometimes they have to, such as if you need to attend a funeral but generally part of the deal is that you will take holiday outside of term time. That is something that should have been discussed before you accepted the job. It may also be written into the contract, or as part of additional material such as e-mail communication.

Nannying for 4 children is tough and you are adding your own daughter into the mix as well, so it is even tougher. Sounds like a very hard nanny position. Is it your first nanny job?

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 20-Mar-14 16:29:12

It sounds like they are getting the most out of you taking the piss poss coz of your age

Nothin wrong with min wage but obv when you are 21 they need to match it

Looking after 4 children can be hard tho nannies are per family so you won't earn more for having 4 then say looking after one baby

I would use the dw and put pans in and turn on and empty so parents can use

Holidays are usually spilt 50/50 tho again in contract and yours obv isn't

Tbh I think you would be better off looking for a new job

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