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late to collect, so I didn't wait!

(58 Posts)
happydazed Tue 11-Feb-14 23:35:31

I'm a cm and one of my parents is always late to collect. I have fined her, complained, explained impact on me, my family, other kids. It makes no difference, she apologises but is then at least 10 mins often 40 mins late.

I was going out tonight so waited 10 mins, didn't show so I left and took her child with me. I texted address and said to meet me there, the place is hard to find and she got lost, she wasn't pleased said why can't you just fine me.

I know I can fine her but it's not effective, and I don't want the extra money I want to leave work on time! A friend has said she would be furious if she went to her children's nursery and they weren't there even if she was late. I ended up delaying her an hour tonight when she was only 10 mins late, however I still feel it's fair enough really, am I wrong.

onedev Tue 11-Feb-14 23:37:55

I think it's fair enough - whenever we've used childminders / nursery / nanny, we always ensure to pick up on time. Hopefully lesson learnt on her part & good on you for taking a stand.

Imnotaslimjim Tue 11-Feb-14 23:40:47

no, you're not wrong and tbh I would be giving her notice. it isn't fair on you, your family or your other charges

TheScience Tue 11-Feb-14 23:41:53

I think it's fair enough - if nothing else has worked then this is a last resort before giving notice.

ForgettableTampon Tue 11-Feb-14 23:41:57

Please give notice, you don't have to put up with this

Shocking behaviour from the parent

MyNameIsKenAdams Tue 11-Feb-14 23:42:28

Well, youve tried everything else so good on you!

I know a CM who had one mindee always left late. In the end she said if mindee was ever still waiting for collection after X time she would assume abandonment and contact social services.

FetchezLaVache Tue 11-Feb-14 23:42:41

She asked why you couldn't just fine her?? She's a piss-taker- happy to throw a bit more cash your way and sod the inconvenience to you! Tbh, I would either give her notice or make a point of going out to a hard-to-find-location every single time she's late from now on.

colditz Tue 11-Feb-14 23:44:04

Obviously yre not fining her Eough!

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 11-Feb-14 23:46:03

Why is she often late? Does she miss her train?

I would start fining £2per min for her so if 40mins late a charge of £80

It takes the piss being late all the time and personally think it also shows how little she respects you or your family

The odd occasion - it happens but seems to happen a lot with her

And yes you did norhing wrong. You finish time is that - why should you miss out on something in your time just coz the mum is selfish and late

duchesse Tue 11-Feb-14 23:47:06

I think maybe this parent needs more childcare hours than you can provide. It honestly sounds as though she'd be happier with some form of live-in nanny. I think that a childminder isn't right for her. Maybe that's the angle you could take when you give her notice.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 11-Feb-14 23:48:03

Cross posts colditz smile

How much do cm charge for late pick ups?

£5 extra ph hour or per charge per minute

duchesse Tue 11-Feb-14 23:48:09

Who's to say the mum is selfish? Maybe she has a hellish journey to get back from work...

MyNameIsKenAdams Tue 11-Feb-14 23:49:25

Well maybe she should book her childcare timings to reflect that

birthdaypanic Tue 11-Feb-14 23:50:00

My DDs both CM and this happens regularly, they also have parents who take forever to pay bills. I am always saying give them notice but as my dds say there is always the chance that if this child leaves it could be a long time before new child takes their place at least if they stick with these children they know they are going to have some money even if they don't always know when.
I feel parents don't seem to realise that this is a business and this is their income and they have bills to pay to.

whereisshe Tue 11-Feb-14 23:50:40

If she wants to be fined then I'd increase the fine to something that changes her behaviour. £10 per minute late? Otherwise she's just using the opportunity for extended child care. Or does she have a DP you can contact to request pick up every time she's late?

I think you might have been a bit unreasonable taking her kid somewhere else with you though. I'd be a bit worried if it was my child.

happydazed Tue 11-Feb-14 23:54:17

i can't give notice, I adore this child and just couldn't see her leave smile she works locally there's no horrible commute or difficult job it's just bad time management she had admitted it. Well glad to hear you don't think I'm unreasonable my friend made me doubt myself, will keep doing it, dash off and hide in remote places every week!

happydazed Tue 11-Feb-14 23:57:48

good point whereisshe, and I do think she was worried rather than inconvenienced. its hard because in most jobs you choose to stay late or leave on time, I have been made late for so many things because of this mum, my fines are high but maybe time for an increase.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 12-Feb-14 00:01:02

If she works locally I'd drop the child off at her work if she's not back on time.

ForgettableTampon Wed 12-Feb-14 00:01:24

I kinda feel you ain't helping yourself by this wet attitude

the parents don't care about YOUR time, okay fair enough but you should care about your time

didn't you cover this in your level three/CACHE-type course, about work impacting negatively on your family and how to manage out difficult clients?

you might well adore the child but THINK woman - your resentment towards the parent/s (natural) could leak out in your body language and affect the child's self esteem/development blah blah (writes essay on the skills needed to balance work and family life)

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 12-Feb-14 00:10:10

How much are your fines?

And yes selfish if often late. She obv cba and doesn't care that it makes you miss stuff sad

happydazed Wed 12-Feb-14 00:15:40

the children are the main part of the job, and giving notice to a child that is thriving here who has a fabulous bond with me, my family and the other children is the absolute last resort. The children i look after become like part of my family as I'm sure they do for most childminders. I'm not particularly resentful, as I said I fine them usually, just wondered if it was an unreasonable thing for me to do. And no I don't think anything useful like that at all was covered on my childminder course or any subsequent training but thats a different thread grin

ForgettableTampon Wed 12-Feb-14 00:16:50


happydazed Wed 12-Feb-14 00:18:29

at the moment I charge £5 per 10 mins late, what does everyone else charge?

Runoutofideas Wed 12-Feb-14 07:20:39

I had a similar issue with one particular parent. She earns really good money so I knew that unless my fines were steep, she would just keep paying and being late. I instigated a £15 per 15 minute block fine - so 8 mins late = £15, 20 mins late = £30. She has been charged it 3 times, over the last few months, but it has improved the situation. None of my other families have incurred late fees, although they are all aware of what they are.

minderjinx Wed 12-Feb-14 07:39:24

I've done the same - taken a minded child along when parents were late for the umpteenth time and the alternative would have been for my DS to miss (again) a club that I had paid for and which he enjoyed. My policies now say that if a parent is late without prior agreement they may need to wait or pick up from a place of my choice, and they will be charged £5 per 15 minutes. I also found that the parents in question would happily pay extra charges rather than get themselves organised, and did not worry about the effect on my family, but when they were kept hanging around instead of me, things changed quite dramatically.

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