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Live in nannies / aupairs Curfew

(26 Posts)
grabaspoon Sun 17-Nov-13 10:01:37

The other thread raised a point as to whether it was acceptable to tell another adult (even if they are your employee) what time they should be home on a work night. So

Employers - Do you set a curfew? What time do you expect them home? Why? What if they want to be out later (movie and meal/consoling a friend/make use of cocktail night at local bar) Is curfew later at weekends?

Nannies/Aupairs - Do you have a curfew? Would it put you off a job?

LCHammer Sun 17-Nov-13 10:04:38

Do you have a curfew from your own employer?

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Sun 17-Nov-13 10:06:26

No but I ask her to text me if she's going to be later than 11pm so I don't worry. My nanny is older so she's not exactly a party animal anyway.

grabaspoon Sun 17-Nov-13 10:08:14

I am a nanny

In this job - I don't have a curfew I can come and go as I like as early/late as I like; I don't tell my boss what time to expect me home; although will often tell her if I'll be staying out overnight [it's not a problem if I don't - and she doesn't expect me to text her] If I go out she locks up as usual but hangs the key up so I can get in and lock up when I'm in.

In a past job - I had a curfew I had to be back at 10 - this meant that I had to walk out of dinner parties early, couldn't go to meals and the cinema.

NomDeClavier Sun 17-Nov-13 10:38:11

I've never had or imposed a curfew. I ask for a courtesy text if they plan to be out past 11 or stay out overnight if they haven't already told me so I know whether to check their room for open windows/leave the hall light on etc.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 17-Nov-13 14:05:58

No, I've never had a curfew and wouldn't accept a job where the employers thought that appropriate behaviour.

It's possibly, just about, in some circumstances, excusable to set a curfew for an au pair, but never for a nanny imo.

mrswishywashy Sun 17-Nov-13 14:07:07

In my 15 years of working in family homes as a nanny or Maternity Nurse I've never had a curfew. I've had arrangements with families that I would let them know if I'll be later than 11pm or staying out the night. I've never woken anyone up on the way in and always reset the alarm if household has one. I'm an adult so can regulate how I work and how long I stay out.

dyslexicdespot Sun 17-Nov-13 14:09:55

A curfew for an adult!? Would that be legal in the UK?

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 17-Nov-13 19:22:01

it would bug me, but im not a live in nanny lol

im a night owl, always have been and even if at home and not out, i wont go to bed till midnight or so and up/awake by 6am

as long as the nanny/ap isnt late/always yawning lol then tbh its none of the employers business

can you imagine if your boss's said you must be in bed /home by 10pm as you have a busy work meeting tomorrow

candybarfallingstar Sun 17-Nov-13 19:50:26

Never set a curfew for our aps. We've been lucky and never had one who drinks alcohol however, so I feel they can rely on themselves better than if they were drinkers.

Squiffyagain Sun 17-Nov-13 20:22:15

No, never, not with any of our au pairs.

We ask them to send us a text if they are planning to stay out overnight so that we know not to worry if we wake in the morni g and the car isn't there.

Grennie Sun 17-Nov-13 20:30:25

A curfew for an adult?? Just because you employ them?? That is totally outrageous and unacceptable.

Nannyme1 Mon 18-Nov-13 13:26:39

I would never accept a job with one and if they tried to impose one when I have already started I would quit.
You can not dictate to me how to live my life, if I was live out you would have no idea what I do, if u don't want to have someone coming in late then don't have a live in nanny or ap

DrankSangriaInThePark Mon 18-Nov-13 13:28:28

I was an au pair and would have been extremely hacked off if told what time I had to be in.

Ditto the flat I didn't rent, because the landlady wanted me to have a little clocking in and out system so she knew where I was. (I was 26)

Poloholo Mon 18-Nov-13 13:37:10

I have a live in nanny and no curfew. Wouldn't occur to me for an experienced nanny. But if I had an 18 year old au pair I may provide some guidance ab

Poloholo Mon 18-Nov-13 13:40:33

... About my expectations.

For a nanny though if they were coming in very late a lot then I would have a word about them ensuring that they were not too tired to do their job properly.

StealthPolarBear Mon 18-Nov-13 13:42:06

Guidance? For another adult?

StealthPolarBear Mon 18-Nov-13 13:42:27

Sorry x post grin

geologyrocks Mon 18-Nov-13 13:44:20

my au pair comes home at 4am, drunk to be up at 8am. often waking up drunk expecting to mind my children. I think that late coming home in that state id give a curfew, no?

StealthPolarBear Mon 18-Nov-13 13:45:30

No yiud discipline him or her for their inability to carry outtheir job

dyslexicdespot Mon 18-Nov-13 13:52:15

Showing up drunk to work would be grounds for dismissal. However, If you employ an adult, and they live in your house and pay rent ( either directly or through a reduction in overall wage) their free time should not concern their employers!

Grennie Mon 18-Nov-13 13:54:15

If you are employing someone to look after your children who are not responsible enough to be in a fit state to do that job in the morning, then get rid of them. Someone who is still drunk in the morning or far too tired to look after children properly, is not responsible enough to take care of your children by themselves.

If they are responsible enough to take care of your children, they are responsible to manage their own life.

OutragedFromLeeds Mon 18-Nov-13 18:59:38

'my au pair comes home at 4am, drunk to be up at 8am. often waking up drunk expecting to mind my children. I think that late coming home in that state id give a curfew, no?'

No, you'd give notice and find a new au pair. How can you leave someone that irresponsible and careless in charge of your children?

If someone needs to be told what time to come in they're not responsible enough to be having sole-charge of children.

geologyrocks Mon 18-Nov-13 20:18:21

thats what I did outraged..gave notice and stayed home that day smile

would I hell let her stay with the kids wink wink

LifeTooShort Mon 18-Nov-13 23:12:34

I never thought to set a curfew having always had nannies who I trust 100% except the one who I asked to leave after a week. However, when our last nanny (who was lovely and entirely reliable) came in at 4am one morning and was clearly too tired to have sole charge of 2 year old DTs 3 hours later, I did ask that she leave her late nights for the weekends and try to be in by midnight during the week. She was fine with it and it never happened again.

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