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Night Nannies, a few questions(37 Posts)
So DD3 (DC4) is exhausting me and I'm desperate. I'm considering getting a night nanny for a couple of nights so that I can get some less interrupted sleep. But I'm not sure if I would actually get any more sleep as DD3 is breastfed and still in the room with us. Also, how does a night nanny settle a baby back to sleep? I'm not keen on DD3 thinking that she is going to be rocked/cuddled back to sleep forevermore. I love the idea if someone else taking DD3 for the night but can't see how it would work.
Night nanny will bring baby to you for feeds, then when you're done do the burping and popping back down in Moses basket/crib which they'll have in a room with them according to your instructions. They'll deal with any sick ups, nappy changes, etc.
If you can express one bottle then they could do one bottle feed and the rest BFs which on the odd occasion shouldn't mess up your supply (although that depends how old your DD is).
I take baby to mother to feed. Make sure mother has a drink with her. Sometimes will sit with mother but not always. Mostly do nappy change half way through feed. After feed will try to get baby to sleep with minimal props although am ok if a family would like baby to be cuddled to sleep. It is age dependent and I'd say by six weeks most babies I've helped have being self settling to sleep most of the time. I don't do controlled crying so if baby needs more support to get to sleep I will cuddle rock but ideally won't. Basically I respect the families needs and the babies needs and try to make it so that when I leave baby settles well after night feeds.
I've also done expressed milk for middle of night feed/s. MOther usually expresses earlier in the day and then she can have a good sleep at night. I've never found it influences supply, sometimes the mothers may express at night because it takes a shorter amount of time so they get maximum sleep.
With babies six months plus I will do more sleep encouraging consultations but don't need to do them with babies I've already worked with because they've naturally slept through.
as below, i like to be different i take baby into mum if bf, and then some i sit and talk, others i go out of room and mum texts me - whatever they want
i then change and settle and mum goes back to sleep
i dont rock babies to sleep, they learn as mrs ww said to self settle, obv dont leave them crying, but if unsettled then i rub back, or do pat/shush method
how do you settle, or does dds fall asleep on boob and then you put down?
a good night nanny will do follow what you do, but will also offer suggestions as well if they feel they will be of help to you
again as mrs ww said, some express so i do the 2/3am feed and mum sleeps, some also use formula for night feed
all are different, it depends what you want
What do Night Nannies do whilst the baby is asleep? Do they sleep as well?
I normally do 9-7 so get there at 9pm and chat to parents about last day/since I've been there
I give them a sheet to fill in daily and discuss any queries they have
Parents go to bed and I wash and steralize any bottles
Normally feed 10/11pm and change and wind and resettle and then I sleep
An wait for bubs to wake me 2/3....., as get older and drink more and sleep longer - and again as above change wind settle and sleep
So if I'm lucky I sleep 2/3hrs after each feed
Most will sleep when baby rest occaisionally there are waking nights but these are usually paid more and only if baby is ill and needs extra waking.
Depending on family I will make sure any sterilising is done and nursery is in order for the night. Will feed or wind baby when needed throughout the night and sleep in between. Will make sure bottles etc are sterilised before I leave in morning. Will give any advice if parents need it.
I've been a nanny for about 3 years now, is there anything particular you would need to specialise in?
I presume a lot of night nannies work during the day too? ( in other jobs )
(sorry for hijack OP!)
I work as a night nanny and don't sleep at night, but that's just me. I don't work in the day so sleep then. I sometimes catnap after the 2-3 pm feed; but I feel worse if I actually sleep.
In the morning I dress baby for the day, make mum breakfast if she wants this.
Back to OPs question. Sometimes OP babies do settle more easily for others they pick up on your anxiety if you are very tired too.
Cuddling and rocking the baby will not help you to settle them the next night. So kept to a minimum unless mum wants.
don't see the point personally in paying out for this. if you are breastfeeding you are still going to have to wake up and also have someone else hanging around unless you are happy for baby to take bottles of course. can't your partner help you in the night? what help is it you need? if babies are breastfed other people are limited in what they can do anyway!!
What would a night nanny do with an 18-month old who wakes every 90 minutes to feed?
I'd do Dr Jay Gordons night weaning plan. I also wouldn't do it unless parents wanted to stop the night waking and is support them in setting up a plan.
I wouldn't do the wakings with no plan set in place as at 18 months a child most likely wouldn't settle back to sleep with me.
Thanks for all the info. DD3 is 20 weeks old so I think I'm after some support to break bad habits without having to make DH exhausted too. Maybe I'm just after some help because I'm not well at the moment and that makes me wish that someone else would deal with DD3 just for once!
Thank you Mrswishywashy. It sounds like we will not get extra sleep until DS starts sleeping. Oh well, at least I know there is no way out.
Mmh, that sounds more pessimistic than I feel. Having DS in bed with us is lovely. I just wish we could sleep in three-hour chunks....
why is your 18 month old waking that often Sui? And why are you feeding him every 90 mins? are you breastfeeding?
I don't know why he is waking up, he always has. I feed him because it lets us both go back to sleep quickly (I breastfeed him lying down), because he is thin and to minimise the risk of waking others...
I would go cold turkey with him! He has no nutritional need to bf at night now and is waking as he knows it is there and you will give in. 2-3 nights is enough to break this, just don't do it as you are making a rod for your own back. Only you can do this - not a night nanny!
If you want to sleep at night and ds to stop waking then agree cold turkey
He is waking as knows he will get fed, you said so yourself as it's quick and stops waking the others
At 18mths a child doesn't need feeding in the night
So if you want to stop then you need to stop feeding him when he wakes. Offer him water from a sippy cup but nothing else
He prob will scream and cry etc and for a few nights wake up the others but stick to your guns however hard it is and ds will stop waking up
May take a few nights - may be a week but if you don't give in then within 2 weeks ds would have stopped - but only you can do this
Thank you for your suggestions. The crying is the sticking point for us. We'd feel too guilty at making DS suffer for our convenience. I think we will wait until he grows out of it. Last night, for example, he slept a 3-hour chunk and went to sleep twice without feeding (and perhaps 4 times with).
When I night weaned DS I set times where he didn't get fed to sleep and stuck to them, gradually extending until he was having a bedtime feed and morning feed only. If a child is using to taking 50% of their milk during the night then they do still 'need' it. Going cold turkey is like starving them half the time for their system and they need to up their food intake during the day gradually too. Yes they should be able to cope without food, but so should an adult for 24 hours, yet none of us would find it particularly comfy. A BF snacked is nothing like a FF snacker where you can offer milk then water. They want boob and boob means they get milk.
That said night weaning really does improve sleep and children will rarely self night-wean from the breast so it's worth trying at least partially.
you can't live like that though Sui - walking on eggshells, afraid to upset a toddler. Toddlers cry when they can't get their own way - it's not going to scar him for life!! if you wait for him to outgrow it you could find yourself feeding a 5 year old throughout the night!
a child will cry and upset - that's life, you can't protect them forever.
I weaned my second ds from night feeding at around the same age, it took 2 nights only, best thing I ever did, he immediately started sleeping through as there was nothing to wake up for!
I am in leicester n cover all of east midlands n warwickshire i have night nannied for lots breast feeding mums inc twins and do as blondes n wishy washy do.
I don't fully sleep i doze n have baby/ies in their crib/basket in same room as me.
Love doing it n parents are so grateful for the sleep.
What does a night nanny usually charge? I'm in the SE and thinking ahead for next baby.
NomdeClavier: thank you, that is encouraging. Might try it quite gradually: as you say, I think still quite a lot of his calories come from milk...
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