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Toilet related! Differences between CM & nursery

(29 Posts)
ZenNudist Wed 13-Nov-13 22:17:24

If be interested in CM viewpoint on this. The question equally applies to nursery staff.

Is it acceptable for one of your charges to have 6 wee accidents in a day? If they are 3.2yo & have been potty trained for 6m?

Ds does have lots of wee accidents at nursery. More than he has at home with me. They often send him home having gone through three sets of clothes, which I think is showing lack if care on their part. Today they reached a low of 6 changes. I think this shows lack of care on the nursery's part. I'm also concerned they are teaching him that its ok to wet himself! AIBU?

Ds is similar to lots of my friends' dcs who will hold out on going to the loo or say he doesn't need it when he does. At home with me I keep an eye out and ask/make him go to the loo. Usually when I want a wee I ask him if he needs it too.

I recognise its different when you have lots of children to look after. Am I being unfair on nursery? Or are they doing a bad job on teaching good toilet habits?

ZenNudist Thu 14-Nov-13 23:14:14

Appreciate the comments everyone. I'm feeling much more relaxed today. I slept on it, nursery were shock when I mentioned it as I took him in as a 6 accident day is a joke by anyone's standards. Promised to pay bit more attention. Ill have a proper chat with manager when I'm off work tomorrow. I've asked before what I can do to help and they just look confused.

Evertonmint am not a million miles from your experience. I know dc do regress but its frustrating. I looked at his nursery book today. 4 months of no accidents dotted with occasional ones with good reason (weed in pants on toilet, early days pull-up at nap time leaked etc). Since mid sept there have been 6 days of 3 accidents in a day. Feels like more, several 2 accident days. 6 in a day is a low point. We didn't even have that when we first TT! Today: all dry again. Go figure!

It's just a nursery issue. He's not scared of the loos there. To be fair on them I usually love his nursery but this was one of those times i really doubted them.

When I felt like the accidents were building up at home, I started to pay more attention to his habits. Im being harsh on him if i say he doesn't ask to go to toilet, he does, particularly at mealtimes, when we are in the car or at bedtime! He often just goes himself at home or in familiar settings. I also ask him to go before a favourite tv programme or as part of going out routine. When out I take him when I go. We are out a lot and its just common sense to go together eg. in sainsburies rather than not taking him when i go then having him ask when we're halfway round Aldi! Iykwim?

I'm not asking nursery to remind him constantly. I'm expecting them to have a routine when all dc go together. If he's had 6 accidents in a day, something is amiss. I suspect they didn't take him to the loo after an accident and that's not let him empty his bladder, hence a spate of in pant wees.

We think the 6 wees in pants were due to the excitement of pj day at nursery & ds being under the weather.

Hey ho, just going to keep at it. I can't relax and like people say deem him fully TT until the nursery issue is licked. Warnings that it could still happen into school years make me more nervous!!!

evertonmint Fri 15-Nov-13 16:25:29

Yes, think you've just got a tricky one like me. I had a not brilliant one first time round, so was beyond pleased when she got it straight away and was dry for 3 months <hollow laugh>

Good luck. The most depressing bit was when my DD just couldn't ever get to the loo anywhere without accident at all. She has recently been so much better at nursery and occasionally takes herself here without accident so I see hope again which makes me feel much better!

insancerre Sat 16-Nov-13 15:57:16

zen, you are expecting too much of the nursery
you say they have promised to 'pay more attention', it sounds exactly like you are blaming them and accusing them of being neglectful in their care
he doesn't sound like he is toilet trained to me, not if he needs constant reminding to go to the toilet
also, they simply cannot have set times when everybody is taken to the toilet- children need to be able to read their own bodies and decide for themselves when they need to go to the toilet, or yes, it will be still happening when he is at school

Some things to consider
are his trousers pull-down and up, without buttons and zips?
do they fit properly and not too tight? This can cause accidents if he is unable to manage his trousers

does he pull his trousers down far enough? is he weeing on them in the bathroom?
could he have a urine infection? showing any signs of redness on his willy?
does he need circumsicing? if the foreskin does not pull back sufficiently then it sort of comes out at a funny angle and the flow can be unpredictable
final piece of advice- stop asking him to go to the toilet- let him tell you when he needs to go, or he will never learn, at the moment it sounds like he is relying on the adults to tell him to go

ReetPetit Sat 16-Nov-13 20:05:54

Your ds is way too old to be wetting that many times a day - sounds as though you waited fir nursery to tell you when to start potty training and you waited too long. He shoukd not need constant reminding and it is wrong of you to blame the nursery. You need to deal with this. maybe take a full week off work to train him yourself as he does not sound toilet trained.

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