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Help! DD is desperately unhappy - cm opinions sought

(7 Posts)
CirclesAndSquares Thu 07-Nov-13 15:59:49

DD is at a nursery she has attended since she was seven months old, she liked baby room (0-2) absolutely adored toddler room (2-3) and moved to the preschool room four months ago (3-5).

Since then she has become more and more miserable, her behaviour has gone downhill and she is refusing to eat and is always saying she is tired. Today it all came to a head when I dropped her off, she sobbed and sobbed and couldn't tell me why. The room she has just joined has a lower ratio of staff and although children have a keyworker they are hands off and there aren't as many hugs, theres more sitting and group activities and having recently viewed some schools it is quite similar to reception.

My thoughts are that she might be unwell so I've booked a GP appt, and I'm also considering taking her out for a weeks complete rest and low key activities at home. She is now 3.3y and she also has a baby sibling almost six months - I am also wondering if this unhappiness is delayed reaction to baby arriving.

I don't particularly parent in any one style but I lean more towards AP than GF, and trust my instincts and my instinct has been telling me my child is very very unhappy - now I need to do something to help her.

Any words of advice or encouragement? Anyone been through something similar? Might she be better in a childminder setting rather than a busy nursery? Her language isn't good enough to tell me why she is so unhappy.

(also posted in the parenting topic) many thanks

bamboostalks Thu 07-Nov-13 16:01:49

What do the nursery say, assuming you will have spoken to them in depth? How does she behave there? Horrid for you both.

CirclesAndSquares Thu 07-Nov-13 16:10:07

Nursery says she settles ok when i go, but I'm not convinced they really believed me about how reluctant she is until this morning

MaryPoppinsBag Thu 07-Nov-13 16:39:38

Are you at home with your new baby whilst she goes? She will know this and it could be making her unhappy.

Karoleann Thu 07-Nov-13 17:30:59

Both my older two enjoyed their day nursery less after the dropped their afternoon naps. I think it was just too long a day for them and too full on.

With ds1 we just stuck it out and with ds2 we moved house and then I put him in a pre-school and got a nanny (but we also had dd too).

DD has just changed from nursery to a morning pre-school, I have an afternoon nanny pick her up at 12 one day a week and our mother's help pick her up the other two days. But plenty of childminders seem to pick up from her pre-school too.

Anyway, I wished that I had moved ds1, he didn't enjoy his last year at day nursery and I feel he would be better in a different environment. I would investigate your other options and see if any feel right for your daughter.

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 07-Nov-13 20:03:48

I would look at getting a nanny or using a childminder. I think nursery is a long day when they're that age and it's structured like school. Also, if you go down the nursery route with your younger one they'll be separated all day. If you use home-based care, they'll be together as they would be in a 'normal' family environment. Will she be starting school next September? That can be tricky childcare-wise, needing someone to do morning and after-school; a childminder or nanny would cover this too.

CirclesAndSquares Tue 12-Nov-13 17:03:37


I took DD to the GP last week on Friday, he suggested kindly that she was exhausted and backed my plan to take her out for a week.

I've also been jn touch with some childminders and will look at exploring other childcare options.

Thanks for the help

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