Advanced search

This topic is for discussing childcare options. If you want to advertise, please use your Local site.

Au pair, own room or sharing with child?

(40 Posts)
Farala Thu 03-Oct-13 00:10:06

We live in a tiny flat in central London, with only two rooms (one bedroom and one living room which we use as second bedroom). For now it's just me and DD, but we want to bring an au pair and don't know what would work best, if to give her my room or to put her in DD's bedroom (in another single bed). Whatever the case, one of us would have to sleep with DD. Thoughts?

PosyNarker Thu 03-Oct-13 00:17:25

How big are the rooms & how old is the little now?

You can't expect an adult with limited childcare responsibilities to share with a young child with multiple waking, bed wetting, whatever. If she's 10 that's maybe okay, but how do you work DD's bedtime with letting the AP be an adult. On a night off she might stay out beyond 1am and unless you've explicitly stated that's not okay, she won't know.

JeanPaget Thu 03-Oct-13 00:22:16

I don't think many AP's would agree to sharing a room with a child to be honest.

With the limited hours AP's work, they have quite a bit of free time and mine have always enjoyed having their own space to chill, Skype and watch TV etc.

Farala Thu 03-Oct-13 00:23:11

True! DD is 5, almost 6. She still wakes up sometimes and gets in my bed. hmm

When I thought of putting them together, I was thinking it'd be easier for the AP in terms of dressing her up in the mornings, putting her to bed etc. But yes I think the girl would like some privacy / rest from us too!

Ah, I wish we lived in a bigger flat! Has anyone had the same problem?

MacaYoniandCheese Thu 03-Oct-13 00:24:19

Oh gosh. I don't think you can expect a grown (or semi-grown) person to share a room with a child. That's not reasonable confused.

Farala Thu 03-Oct-13 00:24:58

Thanks for the tip, I think putting a tv in her room a great idea!

I really want her to be OK and this to work for everyone! I'll be starting a new full time job soon and am trying to arrange everyhing...

Farala Thu 03-Oct-13 00:28:09

MacaYoni the girl is 17 and used to sharing with other 2 sisters.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Thu 03-Oct-13 00:44:14

Has she been to your flat?

I honestly can't see it being possible to have an Au Pair in such a tiny flat sad

bsc Thu 03-Oct-13 00:47:34

I thought they were supposed to have their own room!
You'll have to share with DD, or get a live-out nanny. It sounds like you'll need more childcare than an AP is supposed to do.

duchesse Thu 03-Oct-13 00:48:15

I think you're going to have to give the AP the bedroom and you and DD use the living room bedroom. AP need their own living space ime. Maybe the size of the flat will be compensated by the location but it sounds a bit of a tight squeeze to me.

Farala Thu 03-Oct-13 01:18:32

No, she hasn't seen the flat, but I sent her pictures and explained her the distribution. She is very excited about coming to London.

Re the hours, I had thought 2 hours in the mornings, 3 in the evenings, 5 days per week, plus two nights for babysitting... that's less than 35 hours per week I think, what is the usual? I feel a bit clueless, it's my first time hiring an aunpair, any advice would be of great help.

How much do live-out au pairs charge? What are their pros and cons?

Farala Thu 03-Oct-13 01:19:25

sorry about the bad typing, Im using my phone

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 03-Oct-13 01:48:55

There's no such thing as a "live out au pair", the whole point of the relationship is that the au pair is part of your family, like a big brother/sister, who contributes various domestic tasks (childcare of a six yo for those hours would be fine) in return for a roof over the head and a bit of dosh, usually around £80 a week. And English lessons would be good, the reason they au pair is to improve their language skills.

whatnameshallibetoday Thu 03-Oct-13 02:16:32

actually I know a liv eout au pair, she came here to be with her boyfriend and the arrangement suits everyone, I doubt she is officially living with him though

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 03-Oct-13 03:00:26

So perhaps on a tourist visa, rather than a working one? So not really an au pair.

I totally understand the need for affordable chiildcare. I also totally understand the disquiet around "private" arrangements. But I don't think it's a good idea to get childcare on the cheap.

Cindy34 Thu 03-Oct-13 06:32:14

Even if this aupair is happy to share with your child, the next aupair may not be.

A live out unqualified nanny in London, 35 hours per week could easily be £250 a week.

LittleRobots Thu 03-Oct-13 06:39:56

I can't quite see how you could fit 4 of you go two rooms. During the day, when she plays with your child she'd effectively be in your room? If she stays up watching tv in the sitting soon you can't go to bed? You won't have any private space at all away from her will you? Part of it is that they're to share the family experience.

We have a small house and have ruled an au pair out. It does seem as ever if you have money you can save money!

Jaynebxl Thu 03-Oct-13 06:56:46

Not sure it is 4 people Robots. Think it is the Op, her dd and the au pair.

KatyPutTheCuttleOn Thu 03-Oct-13 07:20:05

She should have your room and you should share with DD.

BlackberrySeason Thu 03-Oct-13 07:41:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HSMMaCM Thu 03-Oct-13 08:11:51

What hours will she be working in the school holidays?

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 03-Oct-13 10:00:24

Ap HAS to have her own room

You share with dd

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 03-Oct-13 10:13:02

whatname she's either not living with the boyfriend (staying there, but not officially living there) or she's not an au pair. If you live-out you are not an au pair. Babysitter, mother's help, cleaner, PA maybe, not an au pair. If they're paying her 'pocket money' and not providing room and board they're breaking the law. If she lives out they're required to pay the minimum wage.

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 03-Oct-13 10:15:23

Au Pair absolutely needs her own room.

Could you not use breakfast/after school club? or a childminder? It doesn't sound like great living conditions for any of you.

whatnameshallibetoday Thu 03-Oct-13 10:42:47

she is here as an au pair, I think its an unofficial arrangement, they dont need her in night and she doesnt want to be there, so it works for both of them

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now