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Nanny abusing children - DESPERATELY NEED ADVICE

(58 Posts)
Mummyneedshelp1 Mon 30-Sep-13 23:35:32

My eldest 9 year old child has just revealed our nanny has been mistreating her - smacking on legs and face and threatening to get her in trouble if she reveals anything.

She went on to say she did the same thing with her baby sister (18 months) Perhaps even treating her worse - ignoring the baby when she falls and hurts herself, shouting at her, smacking her thigh. Apparently the nanny even threw a ball at the baby and when it hit her head which hurt her and made her cry the nanny just put the volume up on the TV so the crying didn't disturb her TV watching.

It seems the nanny behaves in a completely different way when I and my husband are not around.

As you can imagine, this news is most distressing. Made worse by the fact I could see the baby changed towards the nanny. Wouldn't want to go to her, would suddenly stand still staring away from her in her presence, clinging on to me if I would pass her to the nanny.

I dread to think what the nanny could have done to the baby when my eldest daughter isn't around.

Needless to say the nanny is gone - on our next meeting I will be firing her evil butt without pay.

My question is how can she be disciplined for such poor and potentially illegal actions?

Though she smacked my children, she did not leave any marks. We also have no proof, no video.... It will just be my daughters word against the nanny's.

As a Filipina, I also don't think she is registered with Ofsted nor has any records for CRB.

However - I am aware she has just been legally made a British citizen. I don't know if there is anything I can do about that.

Also I have details of a family she still babysits for - I don't know if it might be worth finding out how the nanny behaves with them and perhaps warning them about her.

Yes - I am angry, fuming even about this revelation. But more than that, I actually would like to protect other families and other children from going through this experience. There must be some way other parents can be warned and make sure she never works with children again.

I haven't let the nanny know I know yet - I want to handle this as delicately and wisely as possible. The baby is with grand father and I am always around when she is with my daughter - when she behaves well.

Pls forgive the length of this post. It has all been quite frightful really

sad sad sad

Pinkandwhite Thu 30-Jan-14 00:46:38

Sorry - didnt realise this was old.

Pinkandwhite Thu 30-Jan-14 00:45:43

Bloody hell, this is just awful. I'm so sorry this has happened to your children/you. Obviously go to the police and social services. I would also recommend contacting all your local nanny agencies to warn them so that they don't use her - nanny agencies tend to have lists of nannies they have been warned about.

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 30-Jan-14 00:34:37

This is an old thread.

Annie2012 Wed 29-Jan-14 22:23:18

Would i be wrong to assume you only had this woman as you were able to pay her low wages, ALWAYS hire someone with qualifications and a crb! We are not expensive! I personally earn 7.50ph and I'm a modern day Mary poppins! I am amazing at my job and do anything in my power to keep children in my care happy, healthy and loved and keep parents happy. Well worth paying more for that!!

Wendy555 Mon 14-Oct-13 16:30:28

Firstly praise your daughter for being able to share the information with you. Let her know that she was brave and she did the right thing. Secondly let your daughter know that you will need to tell the police so that the nanny cannot hurt other children and explain to her that the police will want to ask her about what happened to her,continue to reassure her. Call the police and inform them or you can ring Victim Support or any of the recommended agencies mentioned above for advice.What your children have experienced is physical abuse and emotinal All the best.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 07-Oct-13 22:37:56

i hope not chipping sad

K8Middleton Mon 07-Oct-13 21:06:11

I agree with ChippingIn. Total bollox.

Although I did employ a nanny with no crb check. She had good references and we were the second family of a share where she had been employed for 3.5 years previously. A crb isn't a magic talisman. It's just a check that nothing has been reported - not confirmation the nanny's ok. She wasn't OFSTED registered either. Most nannies aren't unless employer wants to use childcare vouchers ime.

Llareggub Mon 07-Oct-13 20:56:42

If you do come back, OP, please do ensure that you report the nanny to the ISA to ensure that she does not work with children again. If you google you'll find it.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 07-Oct-13 20:50:37

Hoopers yes you can, but not without informing someone you have employed to work there.

Blondes I'd put money on it being a wind up.

HoopersGinger Mon 07-Oct-13 10:24:37

You can film in your own home

hettienne Sat 05-Oct-13 20:30:59

highinthesky - if you dismiss someone for no reason you still have to pay them their contractual notice! You can't just fire someone on the spot without reason.

However, hurting a child is gross misconduct and so you can fire someone without notice for that reason.

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 05-Oct-13 19:53:08

i know op is prob sorting things out in real life

but hate threads like these that has no update several days later, esp when people try and help and give advice - bugs me (sorry)

IrisWildthyme Sat 05-Oct-13 19:40:07

high employees have the right to one week's paid notice after one month's continuous employment.

highinthesky Sat 05-Oct-13 19:30:40

Why pay notice? The law allows dismissal without reason within the first 2 years of employment. Surely logging a call with the police should be enough if your nanny decides to challenge on the grounds of discrimination.

If you are sure that she has been harming your children, don't pay her a red cent.

IrisWildthyme Sat 05-Oct-13 19:28:22

(oh sorry hadn't seen page two this is all old news now...)

highinthesky Sat 05-Oct-13 19:27:57

I'd really like to know what the outcome is too. Is it a police matter?

IrisWildthyme Sat 05-Oct-13 19:26:48

Definitely don't set up a hidden camera - do not let her be in the same room as your children unsupervised again. Setting up a hidden camera is effectively trying to use your child as bait in order to secure a prosecution. Your children should not be used as bait.

Certainly dismiss her. You probably should pay notice though as you cannot prove misconduct beyond reasonable doubt. Certainly do not agree to be a referee and report your concerns to the agency but you will have to be clear that you have no proof.

Nicadooby Sat 05-Oct-13 19:12:30

Any update?

ARoundSoundLikeGround Fri 04-Oct-13 15:37:41

I'm really sorry that you have had this experience but why would you employ a Nanny without a CRB check?
Is she formally employed by you or do you pay cash in hand. I'm getting a little whiff of dodginess here

Kendodd Fri 04-Oct-13 14:32:48

Call the NSPCC, they should be able to tell you what to do.

bigknickersforthepicker Fri 04-Oct-13 14:28:41

I think you'll find even the ' checked' childcare providers abuse? Crbs serve a false sense of security. If they haven't been caught it tells you nothing. Perhaps the op made alack in judgment in employing this particular woman but I don't think berating her for it is helping- I am genuinely concerned for her family and would like to know that this abuser is being dealt with.

ReetPetit Fri 04-Oct-13 14:25:19

this is what happens when you employ unchecked people I'm sorry to say.

is she living in your home? I would have packed her bags as soon as I knew and gone straight to the police.

bigknickersforthepicker Fri 04-Oct-13 07:48:55

OP Can you update?

grumpalumpgrumped Thu 03-Oct-13 19:54:59

CRB or now DBS checks only cover UK so if she has only recently started working here that would be pointless. If we recruit someone who has worked for long periods or lived in another country we are told to contact their local police force.

Conract your local safeguarding childrens department.

nearlymumofone Tue 01-Oct-13 19:56:29

This would amount to child cruelty/neglect. Particularly the smacking of the 9 year old on the face, ignoring a baby who was hurt and throwing the ball at the baby.This would certainly amount to a police matter if you wanted to take it that far. There is proof as your 9 year old has witnessed it. Things go to court on the strength of this.

You would need to decide though whether you would want to put her through a police interview (would be with specialist child protection officers who are well trained but still you would need to consider whether you would want to put her through this experience) and potentially court appearance.

However If you didn't go to the police this nany may well go on to nanny other children/babies. Consider how you feel about this.

Regarding the CRB check. All a CRB check reveals really is that someone hasn't be caught before. Not that they are necessarily of good character IYSWIM!

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