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CMs - No appreciation after 5yrs of care

(34 Posts)
Deepgreensea Sun 29-Sep-13 21:30:18

I wasn't expecting a card/gift etc. Just a few kind words would have been nice. I asked for a reference type letter to keep in my file - not even that was done.

For 5yrs I have taken care of their child. Not to mention I have been accommodating and flexible. I don't understand some people. On Friday they collected their child as usual...end of.

I'm bewildered. sad

Yerazig Tue 01-Oct-13 08:58:12

I've had that being a nanny. I don't understand how you can look after someone's child for 10hours A day then they can't even be bothere to reply to your email for weeks when it comes to a natural end.

mindingalongtime Tue 01-Oct-13 09:26:57

I would love to hear from anyone of the 60 children I have looked after over in the last 25 years and know what they are doing and that they are happy.

Some I do, and hear from regularly and I love it!

Yes, I'd like to see how the four boys I've nannied for are growing up - especially as the youngest is the same age as my dd
Would be nice to think I could pop in to see them (after a quick call first to say I'm in the area)
I do wonder if some families quite like to cut those ties though at the end of the nanny/childminder relationship. A shame really, as would be nice for everyone to keep in touch just occasionally.
I guess I could try sending them a Christmas card?

Bramshott Tue 01-Oct-13 09:55:51

Perhaps they are planning something?? DDs CM has just stopped minding and we are all getting together for a tea party with gifts in a month or so's time, but haven't made all the arrangements yet. I would hate her to think that we don't appreciate her, or that we're not planning to say thank you, it's just difficult to get four families all together after school sad

cottoncandy Tue 01-Oct-13 10:19:17

I have been inspired by this thread to look up the lady who looked after me nearly 30 years ago on facebook!
Deepgreensea - those parents sound thoughtless and I think it is very much that they don't want to acknowledge the relationship that you have built up with their son. I am sure he will miss you!

TwoStepsBeyond Tue 01-Oct-13 11:04:15

Perhaps if the parents are planning on using your services during the holidays they don't see it as 'final'? Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, because otherwise they are very rude!

Even when someone has looked after my DCs for a single afternoon I am thankful and appreciative, my friend bought me some choccys and a bunch of flowers after an impromptu sleepover, its just polite to show thanks isn't it?!

I know they were paying you, but I imagine it wasn't a huge amount for the level of commitment and responsibility involved (I am training as a CM and its a lot of work just to get registered, without all the paperwork and extra work on top of actually looking after the children!) As a parent I am always sad to say goodbye to a much loved teacher or nursery worker, in fact there were floods of tears from everyone involved when DD left nursery.

Maybe those parents are just hard as nails?!

Deepgreensea Tue 01-Oct-13 13:39:12

Cottoncandy - I am so pleased to hear my thread has inspired you to contact your childcarer! Please let me know how you get on and if you have traced them over FB.

I am certain this child in my thread is missing me deeply. I know their home life was quite challenging at times. Yes, the parents are 'as hard as nails'. That comment totally describes their lack of empathy towards their child, and the evidential actions towards myself.

No Safeguarding issues - just not the approachable parenting/caring style I aim for.

It is all so very sad and unnecessary.

I looked up a few names on Facebook too, but as they're all young people now I couldn't be sure if it was them or not!
Perhaps the Christmas card/ calling round for a visit ideas might work out better for me?
I'm sorry Deepgreen you do sound quite hurt to have had no proper goodbye and thanks sad

stomp Tue 01-Oct-13 21:15:34

I've had a couple of children leave over the past 22 years where the parent has seemed to totally ignore the fact it was the childs last day....very upsetting. Once had a grandparent do the 'last' pick up, and bearing in mind I always try to prepare children for the next phase (being excited about school/moving/new baby and doing photos, presents, and going to the door with a bright smile on my face even if I feel like crying inside) ...well I remember this child walking down the path waving like mad to me with bag full of leaving present, cards from other children and all-about-me album...and grandparent firmly holding childs hand head-down & not a word to me about it being last day. Broke my heart.
I think some parents just see their side of it- they had childcare and now its over. They do not think about their childs feelings or the childcare provider. Very sad and I do feel for you Deepgreensea.

To anyone wanting to send their old childminder a Christmas card....I often get photo's sent at Christmas of children I have not seen in years smile I love hearing about them smile But eventually inevitably I lose contact, that's life.

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