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What would you think?

(19 Posts)
confusedalways Thu 12-Sep-13 19:51:25

If your children refused a meal and the nanny didn't make them a replacement meal! Suggesting just milk and fruit before bed instead?

NickNacks Thu 12-Sep-13 19:52:58

Absolutely fine, and exactly what I would do. smile

Yamyoid Thu 12-Sep-13 19:54:05

At nursery there was never an alternative and same goes at school.
At home if dcs don't like dinner, the only other option would be some toast, I wouldn't faff around making different meals.

hettienne Thu 12-Sep-13 19:54:21

Unless it was a very ambitious meal (say, something involving squid) then I'd do the same if children are over 2ish.

AuntyPippaAndUncleHarry Thu 12-Sep-13 19:56:50

OP I'm with you. I'm a softie and will make an alternative. Having said that I know what kids like and if they don't eat something new I think fair enough. If refuse a known favourite I assume not hungry and won't offer alternative as know they won't eat that either. To answer original qstn - depends on kids and what instructions you leave nanny.

ceeveebee Thu 12-Sep-13 20:01:25

I do exactly the same and would be annoyed if my nanny made an alternative (assuming DC is older than say 18 mo, and unless DCs ill or something). In my house, you eat what you are given or you don't eat.

HappyAsEyeAm Thu 12-Sep-13 20:03:01

This happened with our previous nanny, when DS was about 16 mo. nanny gave him cod, mash and garden peas, none of which he had tried before. He refused it, and she didn't give him anything else. When I came home from work, DS hadn't had any dinner, and was tired, as I normally came in for bathtime and a very quick story.

We hadn't talked about this particular scenario before, and so she just used her judgement, but my view was to introduce one new food per meal, rather than all new foods. DS was a brilliant eater, and introducing one new food per meal had been working brilliantly. So I wasn't very happy, but she was adamant that if he was hungry, he would have eaten it.

I think I seethed a bit, and we discussed it the next day and agreed on my approach.

grabaspoon Thu 12-Sep-13 20:03:44

I make meals that are family friendly sometimes there are things in there that they don't like but 96% of the time the dc have 2/3rds of their meal include foods they like.

However if they turn their nose up and refuse to eat they get milk and fruit before bed or a piece of plain toast. I am not a café, I make 1 meal and if they don't like it then fine, however I am not making something else.

fufulina Thu 12-Sep-13 20:05:13

That's what ie asked our nanny to do. It's what I would do. And I wouldn't offer fruit. Milk or water before bed. I am quite zero tolerance on food though. Eat what they are offered or don't eat.

drinkyourmilk Thu 12-Sep-13 20:07:12

I think it depends on how long the nanny has been with you and how well she/he generally matches your way of doing things.
I've been with my current family two years. I try to do what the parents would do in all situations, so if I said something like this mum would hopefully understand that my.charge had been pretty badly behaved and I had given them plenty of chances to eat before saying this.
He doesn't always eat, so I just tell mum if I think he will need something else later. Even as an adult , when I'm in my own home, I don't always fancy what is for supper, or have a small appetite. So I have some toast later.

Strix Thu 12-Sep-13 20:21:13

My older children are expected to eat what they are served or go without. They are 8 and 10.

The 2 1/2 year gets away with a bit more. However he is an excellent eater so if he doesn't want something it generally means he is unwell.

My 10 year is very demanding and the au pair has instruction not to make her a new meal on demand.

Cindy34 Thu 12-Sep-13 20:38:30

Age of child and what they have eaten overall during a week I feel are factors. Somedays ŷou don't eat as much as on other days.

I tend to have bread available, so if they refuse everything else, then school aged children can choose just to have bread or combine bread with something they will eat on their plate.

Special new meal for a child who refuses to eat what first given, no.

NomDeClavier Fri 13-Sep-13 08:50:01

Depends on the age of the child, whether they made any effort, whether it was something completely new....

I don't think there's a one size fits all answer but I wouldn't be whipping up a complete replacement meal.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 13-Sep-13 11:24:16

if they dont eat a meal that they normally would then nothing till next meal

a child wont starve missing one meal

if it was something new and really hated it then possibly would give toast instead, as long as they tried it

but again if trying something new i would also make sure they had a few things on their plate that they did like/eat iyswim

there has been times that mb has said to me that dc hasnt eaten breakie so no snacks/nothing till lunch - and i totally support her, tho may have an earlish lunch if child is hungry

same as if dc didnt eat tea/mucked about mb wouldnt give anything till next am/breakie - tho apart from maybe fruit/milk before bed

FlorenceMattell Fri 13-Sep-13 13:12:31

Agree with Blonds. Child will not starve. But I would not introduce all new foods in one meal. Maybe bring next meal time forward.
But the biggest thing, don't make a big deal out of it. A little gentle persuasion to try, then "ok you are not hungry do you want to leave the table and play ..." .
Children and some parents both use food as a battle - not good. Making a completely new meal is something I would only do for a sick child not a healthy child. Even if it is the last meal of the day. They will just wake earlier for breakfast. But they will soon know you are consistent with meals and are more likely to eat healthily.

Callaird Fri 13-Sep-13 20:31:29

I'm with the others. If it is something that s/he usually eats then I would suspect they were feeling under the weather and not push it. I would give milk before bed if they wanted it.

If it was something completely new then I would probably give them something simple, a sandwich or toast. But to be honest, i would never give them a completely new meal! i would change one element and if it was a new vegetable, i would give them two of vegetables that they will eat. I wouldn't give fruit.

If you offer a different meal now, they will always want an alternative. If you went out for dinner at a friends and they offered you something you didn't like would you expect to cook them something completely different? Or would you settle for bread and salad etc?

They will not be offered an alternative at nursery or school. As others have said, a child will not starve if they miss one meal. And offering alternatives makes for a fussy child!

MrsOakenshield Fri 13-Sep-13 20:38:39

I'd do the same - if a meal isn't eaten then bread and butter is the alternative.

BackforGood Fri 13-Sep-13 20:50:32

I'd say 'thank you' .
I'd be pleased that my children were learning to understand that if they choose not to eat a meal then they will feel quite hungry until the next one. I'd then have a chat about not giving them any fruit next time.

TeamSouthfields Thu 03-Oct-13 22:57:11

2 choicesblush

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