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nanny finish time and DC bedtime

(17 Posts)
minipie Sun 25-Aug-13 16:36:47

Our first ever nanny will be starting in a couple of months when dd is around 1. at the moment bedtime is 7 and nanny's finish time will also be 7. I will be home by 6.50. I had originally naively thought that basically nanny would do bathtime and pjs and i would come in and do DD's bedtime milk and put her to bed.

however... this seems likely to have two pitfalls, one, dd may well get all revved up by arrival of mummy home in the middle of bedtime routine and refuse to go to sleep (she tends to be very hyper at bedtime anyway), and two, I'll get no real chance to speak to nanny about anything that has happened during the day. (though there will be more time to speak the next morning as nanny arrives 8am and I don't have to leave till 8.30 usually).

so, I'm thinking I will need to move DD's bedtime later... so I will come in and have a chance to speak to nanny and I will then do bath etc. Downside of this is that I will have less time in the evening to do any overspill work that I haven't got done in the office (this is quite likely to happen a lot). upside is I get to see more of dd though will have to change out of work clothes to do bathtime!

do you agree or am I over thinking this? thank you!

grabaspoon Sun 25-Aug-13 16:43:21

Surely yoyvwant to see your dd in the evening and do bedtime

nannynick Sun 25-Aug-13 16:49:14

Push bedtime out say 30 minutes. Some days your DD may be so tired they go to sleep earlier. Give things a try and then change it if necessary. Moving daytime nap time may make sufficient difference to mean DD is still awake when you get home.

Nanny to do bath, then you to do story and evening feed sounds like a good plan to me. Though adapt it as necessary, if DD wants feed earlier or if you get delayed, then nanny gives the milk.

Do not expect routines to stay the same as they are now, your DD may not feed or sleep at the times she does for you. As she gets older things will change, routine gets adapted, so whilst nanny can try to stick with times things currently happen, if DD isn't going to play ball then the routine needs to adapt to what DD will do.

You don't really need to chat to nanny at the end of the day. Communicate via other methods, email, log/diary.

Mintyy Sun 25-Aug-13 16:50:56

I would make an effort to spend time with my dd in your circs.

prissyenglisharriviste Sun 25-Aug-13 16:51:23

Stick to your original plan.

Have a page a day diary on the kitchen side that the nanny writes in (throughout the day) anything that needs to be handed over from the day - you can write replies in it for her to read the following morning (if you are expecting your mornings to be lovely settled affairs where you have a shower, dress, get organised and then hand over a tousle haired cherub for the nanny to breakfast I wish you luck).

Communication is better this way. You won't forget anything, don't need to take the time to chat whilst you need to be spending time with dd, and the nanny can leave on time without you asking her to hang on whilst you disentangle yourself.

If dd's bedtime gets a little later, it's fine. If she's ready for bed, then you can scoop her up and read her a story - that can be your mummy time before you settle her. New routine. Kids adapt quickly.

prissyenglisharriviste Sun 25-Aug-13 16:52:31

Lol nick, much more succinct. grin
Yeah - do what he said grin he's much quicker at it than I am!

minipie Sun 25-Aug-13 17:09:32

thanks. at the moment dd is often exhausted for her 7pm bedtime (as she wakes v early and doesn't nap long enough in the day... that's a whole other issue!) so was worried about pushing it later. however as you say she will be older and routine different by then anyway so may be fine. maybe she will miraculously nap better for our nanny grin

Yes I do want to see dd of course! just trying to work out what is least disruptive to her/least likely to create horrible hectic end of day for nanny.

nanny diary is excellent idea.

Nannyowl Sun 25-Aug-13 17:42:13

How many days are you working OP? I have worked for a family; where I put the children to bed. They were asleep when their mum came home. But was only one or two days per week.
When you arrive home I expect you are tired, and having to deal with a toddler who also tired/grumpy - not good idea. However you could try doing the milk/story bit and see how that works. As others have said the situation will change as your little one gets older anyway.

Callaird Sun 25-Aug-13 17:50:45

Most of my positions I've bathed the children at 6ish and into pyjamas and we read a story. Mum comes home about 6:50 and gives baby a feed in a softly lit room, we have a 10 minute quiet catch up and I leave at 7. Mum then puts baby to bed 10-15 minutes past 7.

I always do a daily diary with what they've eaten, drunk, done and poos (mainly because one of them is usually prone to constipation!) I also add our activities of the day and if they have done something new or said something funny/cheeky.

I also write any medication amount and time in red pen at the top so if they need to administer any during the night, they know what they've had.

You can guarantee that I will forget to mention something from earlier in the day if I didn't write it down! My bosses also leave a short message if they've forgot to mention something.

minipie Sun 25-Aug-13 19:27:39

it'll be four days nanny owl. I would like to see her if I can, though obv there might be some days where dd has to go to bed early or I run late...

callaird that sounds like what I had in mind, though does that mean you do the catch up while mum is feeding baby? dd is so distractible and easily wound up at bedtime so don't know if that would work for us...

eeyore12 Sun 25-Aug-13 20:19:20

My last charges went to bed at 7 and I finished at 7. They were bathed, stories done and if mum was going to be late, so dad home. Youngest had had milk and in bed before I left at 7, if mum coming home would get in at 6.55 and do very quick handover then she would do bottle and bed, eldest would wait in bed for mum or dad to go and say goodnight after I left/ youngest in bed. This was 4/5 days a week.

Mornings I would walk in and start breakfast straight away with the children while mum boss got ready for work then she would rush out the door with eldest for school so no real time for handover there either.

Nanny diary great help, or I would get a call while she was driving to work/ got to work or texts though the day to fill me in on changes to plans/ playdates booked etc.

Nannyowl Mon 26-Aug-13 16:06:56

Yes I agree; if you are working four days you must see your DD. If the nanny does the bath and has her ready for bed. And maybe only does the story/milk if you are running late.
I wouldn't worry too much, these things work themselves out. Re the nap time. Children often do act differently for other carers than their mums. Eating food they don't like etc. I do brownie camp and the number of girls whose mums say they don't like xyz and then on holiday they have seconds.

sttressedmum Mon 26-Aug-13 17:08:04

could nanny not do bathtime then when u comein speak to nanny then do story feed n bedtime that means the hard part is over (bathtime) and you still get to see dd x

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 26-Aug-13 18:44:17

Nanny bath dc and give milk all ready for you

You come in - 2min chat with nanny and anything else can be written down in diary or nanny can email about her day and you can read at your disposal

You read bedtime story and tuck into bed at 7

forevergreek Mon 26-Aug-13 18:49:43

Personally I would get nanny to make sure your child has enough naps at the right time and put to bed at 8pm.

So they sleep say 1.30-3.30pm in afternoon ( and prob a morning nap still at that age), then aim for 8pm-7/8am over night.

That way you will have time to bath and change them, stories, lullabies, catch up.

minipie Mon 26-Aug-13 21:25:53

I wish she would sleep that much in the day forever!

ok, sounds like handing over part way through bedtime isn't such a problem. actually thinking about it that's what happens at weekends at the moment, my DH does bath and pjs and I do bedtime feed and into cot. so it must be do able.

am going to try to shift bedtime a bit later in any case though, since she's waking up ridiculously early in the morning (just seems to need less sleep than the average child unfortunately!)


Karoleann Mon 26-Aug-13 22:05:07

I'd try and vary it, maybe have bedtime twice/three times a week at 6.45 so you can have a chat and then the rest of the time have bedtime when you come in.
If your LO is knackered on the later bedtime nights, you can alway put them straight to bed when you get in and then have a longer catch up the following night.

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