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male au pairs?

(6 Posts)
mumandboys123 Mon 19-Aug-13 19:00:18

see earlier thread today but in a nutshell, I need an au pair quickly. No previous experience.

have registered with aupair world - some interesting people and am receiving lots of responses from Spanish males. Notwithstanding the obvious perverse attraction of being a single mum having a man half her age living with her and therefore the talk of the street (tee hee!), has anyone ever employed a male au pair? any obvious disadvantages/advantages? anything additional to look for?

They're all Spanish, all horribly good looking and some of them even seem to have relevant experience and education. I only need them for a limited time, no more than 3 months. Are males less likely to miss home? Find it easier to get out and about on their own and meet people (ie walk in a bar on their own?) or are they equally problematic if you get a problematic one (if that makes sense!).

Any thoughts or experiences?

TerribleTantrums Mon 19-Aug-13 19:29:47

I have had four Spanish au pairs, female, male, female and (currently) male (hereafter referred to as f1, m1, f2 and m2). All have been very respectful, not intrusive and only f2 was hard work to get along with (she meant well but I think she was bit homesick and couldn't settle, although she said not when I asked gently). It's not as weird as I thought it would be to have a young man around, and the DC have both preferred the two male au pairs.

As a wild generalisation the men have been slightly less good at housework, they will do all the tasks that I tell them about (empty dishwasher, wash DC's clothes, lay and clear table etc) but are less proactive about seeing random things and doing them. However I don't mind it as f2 was too far the other direction and it drove me a little insane, for instance I would put my hand out for my last mouthful of coffee and the mug would already be in the dishwasher.

All of my au pairs have been mid to late 20s, partly for car insurance cost reasons and partly because I think they are much more independent and don't need looking after much at that age. They all seem very sociable and would tend to go out with their friends in the evenings and at weekends (f2 was a bit shyer but still had friends and went out).

I looked for people who had volunteered or worked with children, for instance as a summer camp leader, coaching football or something where they had to wrangle unruly children and get them to cooperate happily. Having minded their nieces or nephews isn't enough IMO.

I also looked for people who like to travel and had either travelled extensively to different countries or had lived/studied away from home. I felt they were less likely to get homesick and more likely to settle into a new, strange routine with ease.

This is personal to my family, but I need someone who is very fit and loves sports and activities because my DC are <ahem> lively. You might prefer interests that coincide with your DC's interests, eg arty/crafty.

When you have a short list of likely sounding people (at least 3 or 4), do Skype interviews. I have never ended up employing the one who sounded best on paper, they just didn't seem the right fit when I spoke to them. It's worth letting the DC chat to them for a while as well, if they can engage the interest of the DC over the internet then it's more likely they will get on well in person.

Where are you based? I had two excellent short-listers who were looking to come to Ireland, but the timing didn't suit very well.

mumandboys123 Mon 19-Aug-13 19:49:28

thank you and interesting. I'm in north-west England if that suits anyone you shortlisted!

TerribleTantrums Mon 19-Aug-13 20:10:59

One had a girlfriend in Cork and I think he is there visiting her at the moment, so I'm not sure if you'd be right for him. The other one is currently in Dublin, but he might be interested in you.

I'll PM you with links if you like.

mumandboys123 Mon 19-Aug-13 21:28:43

yes, thanks..worth a look!

TerribleTantrums Mon 19-Aug-13 22:25:49

I have sent a PM to you.

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