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Do nannies dislike jobs where mum works from home? Or does it just depend...?

(62 Posts)
emeraldgirl1 Sat 03-Aug-13 05:23:17

I work from home and am starting to look into finding a part time nanny fr baby DD.

But can any nannies/parents tell me if there are reasons why good nannies prefer jobs where mum is not working at home?

I am new to all this but am getting a slight impression that nannies prefer to work without parents in the home?

Is it (if it is actually the case) because they are worried the parent will hover and interfere?

I have no option but to work from home and ideally would like to be able to leave a nanny totally in charge for eg a three hour block in the morning, then I join them for lunch, then a block again in the pm with nanny in charge. I would be in home office but would aim (unless extraordinary event) to stay 'locked' away for the three hour blocks ie I wouldn't intend to pop out every ten minutes to see what was going on etc.

I couldn't promise to be that disciplined at the start!!!! Would be hard not to pop out if DD was crying for me sad But intention would be to wean us all off that over time.

I do worry however that working from home night be more disruptive for baby than me going out!! Had always thought working from home ideal as you could be with child when they needed you but in reality am beginning to recognise that actually this might disrupt a baby more??

And hadnt even thought about whether nannies might not like this kind of arrangement...

Any advice or experience gratefully received! I have just been let down by MIL who had promised childcare so am floundering a bit. sad

HiccupHaddockHorrendous Thu 22-Aug-13 19:30:54

I nannied for a family (for almost 4 years) where both mum and dad worked from home.

The baby was 5 months when I started so it became a very normal routine for her, very quickly.

The only time I felt it was harder (than if they worked out of the home) was when my charge started nursery and we wanted to have friends over for lunch/play. I was always worried that any noise would disturb mum and dad.

Overall, it worked very well for all of us and I think that was because 1) the baby was so young when the arrangement started, 2) mum and dad had a good work routine ie always in their office by 9, lunch at 1, finish by 6 3) they were very clear that when I was on duty I could do my own thing as if they were wohm.

They were a very good family to work for and I miss that job very much.

I also worked for a family where the mum would have occasional days working at home and it was a disaster! Very confusing for the children and stressful for all involved grin.

Rainbowbabyhope Wed 28-Aug-13 18:57:10

Both my DH and I work from home and have a nanny working in our home with 7 month old DD. All three of us see it as an advantage that all three can share the care of the baby - not many children of fulltime working parent are lucky to have their parent in close proximity. It also means I can continue breastfeeding is lovely. It is the perfect arrangement for all concerned. As for making things more difficult for the nanny - many of us work in an office constantly overseen by their boss and with interference i.e doing things their way with regular check-ups etc. Unless you are worried you are doing a bad job then why would it matter if the parents oversee your work as for any other employee out there? Nannies are not in a special category - if the parents want things done a certain way then that's what should happen and they should be able to regularly check in and reconnect with their little one.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 28-Aug-13 22:26:11

Rainbow - it's not the fact that we are doing something that our employers wouldn't like - yes many people have in their office an employer breathing over them - but that doesn't effect their job as no little child there

It's a bit like if you and your dh have diff opinions/ideas on something - as you child gets older they will try and play off you and dh - you said no - they go to daddy who says yes

It's undermining and makes a nannies life bloody hard

Today I had mum at home. Lunch was hell - kids mucked about /had disgusting table manners - after lunch was sleep time - normally go to bed no problems

today mum offered a snooze on the sofa as he didn't want to sleep on his bed (if he doesn't sleep then sooooo grumpy and mum has asked me to make sure he sleeps 1.5/2hrs every day (fine by me) she then gives him her iPad as 'Needs time to unwind' erm that's what sleep time is - so rewarding bad behaviour hmm

In the end I had to tell kids that mummy was going to work and told her to disappear upstairs - which finally she did - once of the way normal /nice behaviour reigned again smile - kids went to bed upstairs and I had my hour of peace - after unpacking sw and hanging washing out

Rainbowbabyhope Thu 29-Aug-13 09:12:53

blonde all that sounds like you are trying to make your own life easier - if boss comes in and wants things done a certain way then that's what should happen irrespective of inconvenience and disruption - that's what every employee faces. Ultimately the parents are paying your wage to work to their specifications not for you to have 'an hour or peace'! I am shocked you would tell the boss to leave - time with the parents is the ultimate precious thing and should be accommodated at every opportunity.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 29-Aug-13 09:29:55

Not at all - when I took the job on we discussed what would happen and mb said I was in charge during working hours

Yesterday (part of my reply vanished) mb offered sofa or bed for sleep - child chose sofa - mb then said actually bed is better and child then had a massive strop - and fair enough - don't offer children choices and then take it away again - then iPad was offered to go upstairs

I don't believe in bribing children to do something that they do everyday normally for me - also as I said the mum insists that the child sleeps every day - while he sleeps I sort out the washing/cook tea etc and yes after duties are done I sit down and have a break

I work 7-7 and when children asleep and duties done that is my break.

The point of this thread and for op is that sometimes when a parent is home the children routine gets disrupted and causes probs for child and nanny

Tbh mum was quite happy to go upstairs and leave me to sort it think she had had enough of a screaming over tired child she even texted me later to say thank you for sorting things out and herself said she shouldn't have given dc the choice and just took him to bed.

Yes time with parents is important but not when gives children mixed messages - if mb really wanted dc to sleep on sofa then fine - but she changed her mind and that set off a chain of events that I then sorted out

This is why many nannies don't like parents working from
Home smile

Echocave Fri 30-Aug-13 18:39:30

I don't think our very lovely nanny would like it as there is a risk that parents undermine and disrupt the Manny's work. In particular as they get older and start testing boundaries etc. we've found dd does sometimes behave worse if we are all around and try not to interrupt meals etc as these can sometimes be tricky.
If you're going to wfh I think you need to keep timetabled hours of when you're seeing your dc. It's not fair to run in every time a dc cries as children cry for loads of reasons and a good nanny will know how to deal with it. You stepping in to provide comfort is not going to help in the long run. I was a bit over the top about hearing our nanny being a bit strict over eating dinner etc at first but actually she's right. My gorgeous dd doesn't half test the boundaries and needs consistency.
I reckon you should do ap, child minder or nursery. Also don't kid yourself that SW London nannies are scrabbling around for jobs. They aren't, it's a very busy market place for them and they can easily pick and choose.

Mrscupcake23 Sat 31-Aug-13 09:17:29

I don't mind mothers being at home if they stay out the way. Very unsettling for the child if mum is so involved they ask the mum for the thing that the nanny has said no to.

Rainbow hope its working for you ATM because baby is only seven months . When your child starts crying when you leave and having tantrums will you let the nanny get on with it. Or go in with your advice?

BoffinMum Sat 31-Aug-13 09:40:02

I think my nannies have been happy but we have always made sure the rules and really consistent and I always back up the nanny. Sometimes I find it too noisy to work properly though.

Sunny25 Sat 31-Aug-13 14:14:32

Many nannies are put off by having a parent working from home because of bad experiences or what they've heard from other nannies. When advertising the job say that you will let nanny get on with her job and stay upstairs where you can't hear what's going on downstairs. Only say it if you mean it. We have playdates with a little boy, mum always comes down to say hello which is nice but when she goes back upstairs to work, the little boy is always left crying, when the mums out at meetings he's fine. I had a mum work from home for 3 months after about a year of working for them it was fine, a few "I want my mum", but really it was fine. However mum was disciplined and the boys personality may have been more suited to the situation. The thing that helped most was I had over a year to build a strong relationship with little boy without mum or dad around. I do remember having to make sure we were always quiet, not to disturb phone calls. So maybe an office in the attic?? Pros are you see him at lunch, closer relationship with nanny and no commutes!smile

Rainbowbabyhope Mon 02-Sep-13 07:44:10

Mrscupcake - we will have to see how things develop however because all three of us (myself, DH and nanny) are involved in the childcare everyday and are all consistent with each other I think it will continue to work well. We don't see the nanny as providing the primary care during the day, only babysitting while we do whatever hours we need too. Usually nanny ends up with DD for only a very short part of the day. We are very lucky that nanny agrees that maximising our time with DD is the most important thing as that is the advantage of us being at home. We don't miss out on anything while still being able to bring in two fulltime incomes. It's amazing and I think families in our situation are incredibly lucky. Do not understand why any good nanny would advise shipping a child out of the home in this situation just so they have an easier job.

NomDeClavier Mon 02-Sep-13 10:47:25

Rainbow In our experience it got very challenging when DS was 12-18 months and the he adjusted back. You may, at some point, need to accept that it's better for them or you to spend more time out of the house then. I did work out of home part of the time which probably made it easier but there does come a point where babies prefer Mummy to anyone else and distraction/removal is necessary.

We were also very consistent, all agreed that maximising our time with him was important, I wanted to continue to BF essentially on demand etc but for a time it just didn't work with our DS. However I also respected our nanny's professionalism and commitment to her job, and listened to her input on what was would be best/easier for DS to process. I know it wasn't about making her life easier.

MGMidget Mon 02-Sep-13 11:06:29

One thing I did which may have helped is that I tended to wait until the nanny and DS were out to come downstairs to make a cup of tea etc. I did encourage lots of outings and paid for DS to go to various regular activities out of the house. Therefore, I wasn't popping in and out when the nanny and DS were in the house. And I agree on the point made about not typically rushing out of the home office when there are tears but leaving the nanny to deal with it (you can always catch up later to find out what the problem was). The nanny would include me at moments she thought were appropriate which worked well. So, for example, as DS got older he would come upstairs proudly with our nanny to show me something he had made or tell me about something exciting that had happened and we would have a chat about it. Then he'd go back downstairs with the nanny and everyone was happy with this.

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