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What to do?

(13 Posts)
annh Wed 17-Jul-13 09:38:53

If you have tried and the mum refuses to listen to you, then I think you do have to make a phone call and have it taken out of your hands. Does your employer not realise that telling you "not to worry" on the issue of car seats doesn't alleviate the illegality of what she is doing? Are there any other family whom you could share your concerns with - a grandmother e.g.?

Maryann1975 Wed 17-Jul-13 09:33:48

In my area, social services run something called a jigsaw, which basically means that if everyone has a concern about a child reports it, they can link it all together and see if there is actually a problem that needs intervening with or if its ok to watch and wait. Do you get what I mean. I would say report it and then someone higher up can decide if action needs to be taken and the best course of action needed. It's a dreadful phone call to have to make, but you are doing it in the best interests of the child.

NomDeClavier Wed 17-Jul-13 08:18:00

You do absolutely have to report this as a childcare professional. These are clear signs of neglect and while that may be that the mother isn't coping for whatever reason and isn't doing it maliciously this family need support.

You don't mention a DB in your posts other than him driving occasionally. Have you ever raised any of your concerns with him?

WorriedNanny12 Tue 16-Jul-13 23:46:19

Only particular concerns about youngest. The other child is treated royalty only concern there is the lack of carseat

annh Tue 16-Jul-13 23:17:58

You mention "youngest" charge which suggests there are other children. How are they treated by the family - do they also have inappropriate clothing, no car seats etc. or do you have particular concerns only about this child?

WorriedNanny12 Tue 16-Jul-13 22:04:31

I've discussed each with charges mum frequently & just get a dont worry he'll be ok.

I do the laundry but half the time she dresses him In yesterday's clothes which ill swap for cleans ones.

I arrive at 7:30 so a reasonable time to do all the bits she does

nannynick Tue 16-Jul-13 21:45:37

What have you done so far to try to help?

1. Suggest that you get the child dressed upon your arrival, assuming you are arriving at a reasonable time of the morning.

2. Suggest that you do the child's laundry and sort the clothes into what does and does not fit.

3. Curdled milk in cot/bed in the morning is normal... milk left overnight will curdle especially in the temp the UK is having currently. Young children will on occasion mistakenly drink some first thing in the morning - lets face it we all are not at our best when we wake up, so if thirsty you grab the nearest thing.
So to help prevent that, could mum remove the milk and replace with a beaker of water when she goes to bed?

What else is going on in mums and the child's life? Does she seem under stress? Inappropriate clothing isn't great and could be easily solved by you doing it. However there will be days you are not there, so the mum does need to realise what she is doing - though maybe things are different when it isn't a work day and she has to dash out of the door?

Sounds like she needs help and you are well suited to giving some of that help. Can you talk to your employer and ask them to consider what help they need, what changes they can make. Talk to them about making a referral to social services, as you have a duty to refer concerns and it would be good to have her agreement to it being referred. It isn't a serious child protection concern in which telling the parent about a referral is likely to be detrimental to the child, so I would get the parents agreement that it needs referral - though make it clear that without their consent, you will refer it anyway as that is your duty. Call the referral line during the day and follow up with a letter (they will nearly always want the referral in writing). Social Services may not be able to do anything, so consider what help you can give them as presumably you are being paid to care for the child.

4th concern is is an offence by the driver of the vehicle most likely. Do they have a suitable child seat? Some people do not seem to be aware of the danger - maybe they think that it was fine for them as a child in say the 70s so why not now. However UK legislation has changed over time, seat belt wearing is not optional.

Lagoonablue Tue 16-Jul-13 21:44:16

Poor you. What a horrid situation. Yes you have a duty as a childcare worker to contact children's services.

WorriedNanny12 Tue 16-Jul-13 21:40:39

I'm looking for another job and until then I'm not in the position to leave. Part of me is also thinking that the longer I'm there the better care the child is getting for 10 hours a day

sleeplessinderbyshire Tue 16-Jul-13 21:38:46

gosh what a horrible situation to be in for the child and for you as the nanny. I think you know you have no choice but to take some action and urgently, sounds like at best neglect

Dare I ask why you're staying in the job?

WorriedNanny12 Tue 16-Jul-13 21:23:00

Thank you so much for replying. Looks like I have a phone call to make sad

ChildrenAtHeart Tue 16-Jul-13 21:17:50

You have a duty of care to report this as these are clear signs of neglect. It doesn't matter what the reason - may be due to poor parenting skills/ignorance, post natal depression etc. but the child is obviously at risk. Do as your Mum advises as she knows! This parent needs help and you would never forgive yourself if the child was harmed due to your reticence

WorriedNanny12 Tue 16-Jul-13 21:05:00

Posted before but name changed to avoid being outted

My concerns for my youngest charge are becoming more & more

1st concern - more often than.not has been dressed by mum and left in either a soaking(near exploding) wet nappy or a soiled nappy which has dried to his skin (presuming been left for a while)

2nd concern - often dressed in dirty clothes, too small clothes or not appropriate for the weather (today's outfit was lined jeans, best, long sleeved top & zip up jumper)

3rd concern - there was a bottle of curdled milk in the cot this morning, has had a runny nappy all day, was sick & been grumpy. Not 100% if it got drunk but seem likely

4th concern - never strapped into a carseat and is just plonked on the back seat or mums lap if dads driving

All my concerns seem to becoming more & more worrying. I've spoken to my mum whos a child protection officer and she said to contact social services to make it noted

I'm not sure whether that's the best option or not. I've tried to discuss with mum about it but she doesn't care.

Sorry for such a long post

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