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When to start and where to start with looking for help?

(11 Posts)
twinteresting Fri 12-Jul-13 14:47:52

I am pregnant with twins = due around Christmas.

Have 2 dcs already

We can't really afford much in the way of help but have resigned ourselves to the fact that as we have no family near and DH has to be out of the house from 0600 to 1930 most days we are going to have to find a way to get a spare pair of hands.

any thoughts gratefully received.

NomDeClavier Fri 12-Jul-13 16:58:13

How old are your other DCs? And what is your budget?

Could you have someone live in or do you not have enough space?

When do you think you're most likely to need help in the day?

When and where you start will depend on what help you need.

twinteresting Sun 14-Jul-13 20:27:42

Older DCs are 5 and 3

Not much room for someone to live in tbh - we do have a spare room - could remove the double bed and put a dressing table and single bed in there I suppose.

Helpwise I have no idea - I can't really imagine the new life and what's needed - rather gives me head spin!
I guess in the mornings to get to school/preschool and also some help with some of the household stuff.

Budget is ??£@?! I don't know. As much as it costs I suppose. I would be interested in the different starting points for cost of Mothers' Helps/au pairs/ nannies etc And also the tax implications

I am in the SE in the home counties about 35 miles from London.

We are semi-rural. there is a bus service to local towns but it's not great
A car wouldn't really be needed for duties but might be to get here if they weren't live-in.

Again any help gratefully received

NomDeClavier Sun 14-Jul-13 20:53:51

Well mothers helps and nannies you're looking at £8-10gross live out, depending on experience, but they're likely to want full days unless you find someone with an after school job.

A nanny is unlikely to do household duties unless they're willing to compromise on usual nanny duties for newborn twin experience.

Live in brings a reduction in cost but equally more flexibility. Mothers help £250-350 gross FT depending on qualifications and experience. Nanny £350-550 gross for FT help. Then you'd need to factor in employer's NI.

With a 5 and 3 year old you could consider an au pair - 5 hours per day for around £80 per week but you need to give them time for English classes and they're likely to need a bit of parenting themselves which you might not be up for and they tend to be looking for a slightly longer stay. No tax liabilities at that wage but you may need to pay a tad more to get someone good and experienced, which you'll probably need!

Post natal doula is another option but they might not be able to do your morning hours.

Maternity nurse is the most expensive but you can get trainees who are looking for experience will do 24/6 focused on the babies for reduced rates.

twinteresting Sat 10-Aug-13 17:34:44

gosh I hadn't realised how long ago I started this thread.

Will look into trainee mat nurses etc

TeamSouthfields Sat 10-Aug-13 22:05:39

Live in help would be ur cheapest option, even to help out with just older two

ReetPetit Sun 11-Aug-13 09:36:50

is eldest not at school? i would have 3 yr old in nursery and just try and get help for dinner/bath time or a cleaner only. an au pair can't be left in charge of 2 newborns so not much point imo. my priority would be to get 3 yr old into f/t nursery school and them just get help around house and in evenings if you feel you need it. advertise on gore an after school mothers help as its not a nanny role and an au pair is about as much use as a chocolate teapot in your situation imho.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 11-Aug-13 13:13:38

An au pair could be OK. They'd be able to do the mornings with the older two children so you wouldn't need to get up/dressed etc. can have a lie in/concentrate on the babies.

They'd be able to clear up the breakfast things, put a wash on, change the kids beds, pop out to the shop/drycleaners/post office if needed.

They wouldn't really be able to have sole charge of the newborns, but are perfectly capable of feeding/changing/dressing one while you do the other. They'd also be able to keep an eye on them/rock them so you get a chance for a shower etc. If they're the 'need to be walked to sleep' type then I'm sure an au pair can be sent out with them in the pram for a walk. Au pairs are not qualified/experienced childcarers, but as long as you get one with common sense they'd be perfectly capable of helping out with the babies.

They'd be able to entertain the 3 year old for the afternoon, take them to the park/library etc. They could do the afternoon school run, help with dinner and bath time.

An au pair would only normally work 25 hours a week, an au pair plus could do 35 hours, so they wouldn't be able to do everything I describe every day, but you could pick the hours you most need. An au pair would be the cheapest and most flexible type of help. Obviously you have to deal with someone else being part of the family/looking after another person etc. and some people do have really bad experiences with au pairs not being sensible/reliable/hardworking.

The other option would be an ex au pair wanting their first nanny job, newly qualified nanny, ex nursery worker etc. anyone looking to get into nannying, but who doesn't have the experience yet.

twinteresting Sun 11-Aug-13 17:02:49

Thanks for all of this.

3 y/o will be in preschool but only mornings (poss a 1-2 afternoons) (only 3 in nov)

Do you think is best way forward ? rather than a local agency?
I was more thinking of a newly qualified nanny/nursery nurse.

Am trying to go with the "opportunity" to work with Newborn twins with an experienced mother iykwim

Am thinking that an au pair while possibly best value may not work as it would be quite a squeeze and presumably would have to provide transport (am semi rural)

jimmychooshoes Tue 13-Aug-13 12:01:00

I work as a maternity nurse and particularly like working with twins. PM me if you think I can be of any help or could answer any questions you may have as to how we work.

Memeglass Mon 19-Aug-13 18:53:43

I work as a childminder but only part-time I would consider becoming a mothers help I would say I'm very experience and very confident with new borns/ children as I have 5 chrildren myself
I live in the Hitchin are, I do drive,, if u would like to contact me you can on
Thanks catherine

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