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17 month old and newborn - will we need childcare?

(10 Posts)
katiemonkey Wed 03-Jul-13 21:39:51

Any ideas of whether we'll need childcare for our son who will be 17 months old when our second son comes along? We're currently considering a couple of days in nursery or a mothers helper to help out at home with both kids. Does anyone have any experience of that close an age gap, and if so, how did you handle it?

ReetPetit Wed 03-Jul-13 22:01:31

you'll be fine! you don't 'need' childcare. whether you want it is another matter - if you feel it would be beneficial to you and/or your toddler and you can afford it then why not? but you don't 'need' it. I had a very similar age gap and coped just fine as do millions of other women!

The only advice I would give, is to start your toddler at childcare before the baby is born if that's what you decide you want to do, so that he doesn't feel pushed out.

YDdraigGoch Wed 03-Jul-13 22:06:41

18 mths between my DDs. It was tiring, bloody difficult at times, but its been great as they've grown up close in age.
No need for childcare.

nannynick Wed 03-Jul-13 22:11:31

I have nannied for children 16.5 months apart in age and I coped with caring for them, plus an older sibling (school age) so any adult can cope with children with that age gap.

Assuming you are a SAHM, I would suggest that you look at help at the non-childcare things. Such as: laundry, ironing (if you do that), general cleaning of the home. You could use outside companies, like a laundry/ironing service, and have a cleaner come to your home once or twice a week.

You may also want to consider your food arrangements, such as getting grocery shopping delivered to home, having regular weekly deliveries of essentials saved in the online shopping cart or placed with the local supplier.

In the initial few months you may want time for you and newborn, so using a local childminder, nursery for part of a day possibly more, could give your eldest time to play. However a new sibling is quite a change to them, then being at nursery/childminder is another change, so you are introducing two big changes at the same time which can be tricky. So consider starting time in childcare before baby arrives.

Spongingbobsunderpants Wed 03-Jul-13 22:11:41

I kept my live out nanny on for a couple of days a week, mostly to retain her for when I went back to work, but I ended up really needing her. Dh had just started a new job with very long hours, we had no family nearby and dd2 was very poorly in the first few months.

Ds1 reacted quite badly to dd arriving and having our nanny meant that I could spend one to one time with him occasionally.

MairyHoles Wed 03-Jul-13 22:23:10

When my 9 month old was born my son was 15 months and my daughter had just turned 4. I managed, you will always manage, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have and if I had the money I would have perhaps put the older ones to nursery for a couple of mornings. Now if I had spare money I would probably hire a cleaner as I have found keeping my cleaning up to a certain very low standard while juggling the needs of the younger ones pretty difficult.

madamecake Wed 03-Jul-13 22:27:12

I have a 17 month gap between my 18 month old DD and 6 week old DS. I found the first few days I really appreciated having my DH at home to help with DD, but after that it was fine, and I actually found it easier once he went back to work as I could get into my own routine.

At the moment (it may change!) it's fine without childcare, but there is very little housework being done, and I second nannynick's suggestion about using an ironing service.

I don't have much advice as it's still early days, but so far it's a lot easier than I thought it would be, so I'm sure you'll manage just fine.

eeyore12 Thu 04-Jul-13 05:46:20

I have nannied for a 12 m

eeyore12 Thu 04-Jul-13 05:48:14

Sorry silly phone.

I have nannie for a 12 month age gap , 6 months and 18 months. Hard work but fun. And my auntie had boys 15 months apart. Their are really close now and always have been. Again hard work to start with but routine is def the key.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 04-Jul-13 07:52:10

I have had several jobs with small age gap - 13mths being the closest

5week baby and 14mth

Want and need are very different as reef said

If you can afford it and want some help then get it smile

But you don't need it iyswim

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