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aibu to expect a sorry here

(51 Posts)
happydazed Wed 03-Jul-13 19:13:23

well I probably am unreasonable but thought id rant anyway its what mumsnet is for! mindee complained of feeling sick and tired. stupid me let him go and lie in the lounge which I try and keep child free. he threw up everywhere. couch and carpets are all going to need cleaning, cushions in the bin already. there was gallons, sorry tmi! it smells terrible in there.
now its my own fault for letting him go in there and a hazard of the job etc and I hugged and comforted the poor kid while he threw up, and looked after him until mum came, but I just think mum when she arrived and saw the destruction could have acknowledged it at least. I wouldn't charge for cleaning of course my fault as I said but an offer to help or something would have softened the blow for me. its a brand new carpet . sob!

lougle Thu 04-Jul-13 22:54:28

That's horrible. He did tell you he was feeling sick, though.

Also, as others have pointed out, it's your business to look after children who may at times get sick in your care. It's probably wise to factor occasional cleaning as part of your overheads because it's unlikely to be the only time.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Thu 04-Jul-13 22:58:01

Its a hazard of the job I think - I would not be apologetic for my child being ill.

clam Thu 04-Jul-13 23:09:22

"I would not be apologetic for my child being ill"
Totally missing the point. No one is suggesting that you should be. However, it is basic good manners to acknowledge that someone has been inconvenienced by your child vomiting in their home.

Am staggered by some of the entitled, rude attitudes on here. How much effort does it take to say, "Gosh, how awful, I'm so sorry. Thank you for taking care of him though."

NannyPlumIsMyMum Fri 05-Jul-13 00:06:16

That's ridiculous she's being paid - she's a child minder !

Do you think that people apologise to healthcare staff in hospital when they have been vomited on or covered in leakage from somebodys orofice ?

As a childminder it's a hazard of the job, she is providing a service.

happydazed Fri 05-Jul-13 00:37:07

well I saw her today and got no apology or offer to help with cleaning or anything, in fact she didn't mention it other than to say he probably picked it up from one of my other mindees.
interesting mix of viewpoints on here!
I totally acknowledge allowing a child who is complaining of feeling sick to sit in the lounge was very silly of me, he has a habit of faking sickness in order to get some tv time so I didn't really believe him, I will next time!
for everyone saying its my job to deal with sick, well its not really, we are childminders not nurses. but regardless of the job, if my child vomited in hospital and a nurse cared for my child and then cleaned it up I would thank her. if my child threw up on her then yes I would apologise,its just manners I think. I too got covered yesterday and mum could clearly see that!,
yes its a hazard of the job and I am not complaining about the fact the child was sick, it happens, it will happen again, I am not at all bothered about cleaning it up, I just find it a little rude that knowing full well that her child has covered my lounge and me in vomit she didn't simply say I'm sorry about the mess, I know I would have, perhaps she was stressed because he was ill but she could have sent me a text later or something. although its my job its still my family home, my dh wants to come home after work and sit in his lounge.
thanks for all the cleaning suggestions, you would never know it had happened now!

lougle Fri 05-Jul-13 08:31:20

"although its my job its still my family home, my dh wants to come home after work and sit in his lounge." But you knew that when you did it. It's a perk of the job to work in your own home. It has some down sides also. You make your choice, you take the consequences.

I know I would have apologised - I apologise for everything. However, I don't think she should have 'offered to help clear it up'. She's paying you to take care of her child. It's not a favour.

bellabunny Fri 05-Jul-13 08:42:42

Do you not have a 24/48 hour exclusion after being sick?? Why was he back again the next day?

FannyFifer Fri 05-Jul-13 09:07:04

Nanny plum, as a nurse who has been thrown up on and had various other bodily fluids on me over the years, anyone who is able to has said sorry.

What bad manners you must have.

happydazed Fri 05-Jul-13 09:35:40

he wasn't back the next day she just came to sick something up.
I'm glad people do apologise to nurses, it doesn't seen a nice attitude that its part of your job so you should just be expected to get on with it. like its not a vets job to get bit by dogs but it happens, I really hope dog owners apologise when it does.

happydazed Fri 05-Jul-13 09:36:45

ha ha great typo, I meant pick something up. if she threw up on my couch that would had been the final straw!

Casmama Fri 05-Jul-13 10:11:39

I am appalled that some people would not apologise- how rude. I wonder if these same people would not apologise if they vomited on a doctor or nurse when ill- I would be mortified.

lougle Fri 05-Jul-13 10:21:10

FannyFifer, I agree with you (as an ex-nurse) but the point is that the OP seems to think that her client should have offered to help clear it up and given apologies as if she herself had done something wrong. In fact, she hadn't done anything wrong. The boy said he felt ill. She had the option to call his mother, but felt (justifiably) that he could just rest. Unfortunately, that turned out to be a mistake.

BackforGood Fri 05-Jul-13 10:33:19

I would have been really apologetic that it had happened, but it wouldn't occur to me to offer to clean it tbh. I would presume by the time you'd phoned and I'd left work and driven there and everything that it wouldn't still be sitting there!

clam Fri 05-Jul-13 19:20:28

I recently spent a week in hospital and was very unwell (as in sick) at various points. I always apologised, even mid-vomit, and made sure I said thank you each time a nurse/ward assistant brought a bedpan or whatever.

I appalled at nannyplum's (and others) attitude. I don't care if it's the CM's job or not. It's a basic courtesy.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Sat 06-Jul-13 00:04:04

Speaking as a nurse I would never expect or want somebody to apologise because they have been ill.

It's just part of the job as I'm concerned , I knew what I was going into as I'm sure OP did.

I think if I walked around grumbling at work that somebody had not apologised for weeing/vomiting on me I would get some very funny looks.

clam Sat 06-Jul-13 00:36:26

I don't care whether it's expected or wanted. It's just basic good manners.

FannyFifer Sat 06-Jul-13 00:40:22

I don't expect people to apologise, good manners however ensure the majority of them do.

I don't get upset if i get mess on me, comes with the job, but people apologise, same as I would and have.

catabouttown Sat 06-Jul-13 18:14:30

I think saying sorry is the right thing to do in this situation, I say sorry to cleaners or waiters clearing tables if I have made a mess even though it is their job to clean to it. It's just basic manners, it's not really the right word I suppose but it's just acknowledging that its not great for them...

I once had a mindee, who was maybe about 8-9 months at the time so couldn't tell me beforehand, suddenly projectile vomit all over me as I picked him up after putting his coat on to hand to his mum. I was covered from head to foot, as was he, it was even in my bra. His mum didn't say anything, didn't try and help me or take him or anything. I had to stand there covered in her child's vomit and get him undressed and cleaned up again before I could sort myself out and she just stood there and watched...I should add she was late for pick up so technically this was on her time and I wasn't getting paid for it!!

insancerre Sun 07-Jul-13 09:00:05

for everyone saying its my job to deal with sick, well its not really, we are childminders not nurses.
but it is part of your job, it really is
if you look after children you have to take the bad with the good
and maybe mum was too pre-occupied worrying about her poorly son to consider that the cm expected an apology
I wouldn't be apologising for my child being sick, although I would be grateful for them being cared for

clam Sun 07-Jul-13 09:08:50

I'm not saying it's not part of a CM's job. These things happen, of course they do, but my point is that being concerned about your child being unwell (and by the sounds of it he was just sick, not exactly on life-support) doesn't, or shouldn't, preclude your in-built social graces from kicking in with a "oh, I'm so sorry." How hard is that?
No one is expecting her to have stepped over her prostrate, vomiting child and headed for the cleaning fluids.

happydazed Sun 07-Jul-13 11:57:12

agree with clam.
a little shocked at some opinions but everyone's different I suppose. glad I am not on my own though.

clam Sun 07-Jul-13 12:01:09

I'm not shocked, just a little depressed. When did we become so entitled and rude?

emmie31 Mon 08-Jul-13 11:01:39

Why do some people think working at home Is a perk of a child minders job? Its the one thing I can't stand about the job. And I can't stand the " you're a child minder you get paid for stuff like this" umm no we don't, we get paid to follow the eyfs, teach the child to learn through play, take them on outings so they can learn from the outside world! Yes they get ill and we'll deal with it but its not our job to look after ill children! And b4 anyone mentions why im mumsnetting and not working , I've got a day off .

lougle Mon 08-Jul-13 11:19:11

It would be my instinct to say sorry. It would be my instinct to offer to clear it up. However the OP sounds to me like happydazed actually expected that of the mother, and the fact is that she is providing a service, which is to look after the child in the mother's absence. On this occasion that involved him being sick.

emmie31, if you don't like working from home, don't do it.

Tanith Mon 08-Jul-13 11:41:13

I didn't get that impression from the OP.

The nearest she gets to the client clearing up is to say that she didn't offer, not that she expected it.

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