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what childcare

(10 Posts)
curran13 Tue 14-May-13 21:40:06

Hi, I am a part-time surgeon and will be going back full-time in Sept, unfortunately my marriage has become unbearable and I am wanting to separate from my partner (this has become inevitable). I will be looking for rented accomodation whilst i sort out the legal matters and I am frankly scared of doing all this on my own (my friends are in London and all busy with their own lives) and my mother is quite old and has her own life so i will essentially be on my own. My daughter is 13 months and adorable but a really bad sleeper and needs a lot of attention. For childcare my hours will be long from 8am to 6-7pm and i will be oncall frequently etc. I will need some sleep as well for all the commuting so in terms of childcare i will probably need 24/7 help as i don't think i can do it on my own - i'm not sure how to go about finding an aupair (or is it a nanny). If i can figure that out the thought of doing what i have to do wouldn't seem so awful (all the arguments we are having isn't fair on her and I want to leave this bad situation asap). She is at nursery at present and my husband is self employed and does the pickups on the days i am working.

MsDeerheart Tue 14-May-13 21:44:14

nanny I think -and I would suggest some nights of a night nanny - and loads of threads on this section about how to find one - but I would post on relationships for some support - wouldn't move out if you can help it

OutragedFromLeeds Tue 14-May-13 21:47:42

The first thing you need to do is google 'au pair' and find out what they do. This absolutely is not a job for an au pair.

You need a live-in nanny. 24/7 is going to cost you an absolute fortune and make finding someone quite difficult as the number of nannies wanting to do this is going to be really, really tiny. I would try and cut the hours a bit if you can.

Do a google search for nanny agencies in your area and talk to them about what you need.

OutragedFromLeeds Tue 14-May-13 21:49:16

Alternatively you could get a night nanny and a day nanny, will still be expensive, but you should find someone easily. You could even try a nanny and an au pair to cut costs.

ReetPetit Tue 14-May-13 21:53:27

sorry you are going through this op. i don't mean to be rude - but why on earth have you and your dd got to leave your home? could your (ex) dp not be the one to leave? and why can he not share the responsbility of caring for his daughter even if you are seperated?

i don't think, if you move out with her you are in a situation where you can pay for someone 24/7 unless you are earning really, really good money (have no idea what surgeons earn...) could you not cut down your working hours? this doesn't sound like the right thing for you at all at the moment (or your dd)

beeny Tue 14-May-13 21:57:11

I am a barrister and understand about long working hours, but i do think if possible you should try and cut down a bit.

blueshoes Tue 14-May-13 22:40:15

Who currently does the night wakings?

iluvkids Wed 15-May-13 10:54:37

Hire me

I do lots of proxy parent / 24 hour care

Which area are you in

curran13 Wed 15-May-13 23:10:01

Thanks I will look into those suggestions I want to leave so I am closer to work in Bham and I think my husband will make it as difficult as possible and the furthest away I am from the situation the better but I will speak to a solicitor first. I will try and share the childcare with him at the weekends. lots to think about. Unfortunately I don't earn a lot of money and so I will be juggling but not having a mortgage and selling the house will make things easier. Thanks all

curran13 Wed 15-May-13 23:11:01

Will be in Birmingham what agency are you with, your details etc.? Thanks

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