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Really feeling disheartened with the job at the moment.

(15 Posts)
FuckOffMrBloom Tue 16-Apr-13 20:59:47

One of my FT parents (half my income) is a massive PITA, constantly swans in 20-30 minutes late with no apology, she does phone if she's going to be an hour or two late (I don't mind being flexible) and pays me those hours but she seems to disregard twenty minutes as not important.

She then stands in the doorway, usually while i'm dishing up dinner for the others, asking me where coats and shoes etc are (they were usually ON half an hour ago and are now strewn across the house, or were in a neat pile by the door at pick up time and have since been wandered off with...)

I have tried speaking to her and she just apologises and says she;ll really try to leave work on time. I said she shoudl just pay me until the later time as standard as it's usually that time and she said, no, she'll aim to get back for the earlier time.

So that's all going on. My working day is 7am to 6pm at the moment and I feel utterly wrung out, my own three get the rag end of me. I drive from one end of town to the other, three times a day, DS2 is a toddler and spends over an hour in the car every day on other people's school and nursery runs.

Two out of the three families I mind for at the moment are complete darlings. One (the one that's half my income) is driving me mad but I can't afford to give notice and the DC themselves are lovely. As well as the timings thing the mum is incredibly bossy about activities and sleep times, to the point where she had a massive go at me for skipping a class for her three year old (oh yes, she booked classes on my days too) because my older DD was off school.

Tell me good things about CMing. Remind me why I love it. Because tonight I just feel like jacking it all in and finding something that doesn't impact my family so much.

<small sob>

<sorry for self>

freddiemisagreatshag Tue 16-Apr-13 21:04:16

Oh sweetheart. I'm not a CM. But can you go and hide in the bath for an hour with a glass of wine or something? Sounds terribly stressful and you sound wrung out.

fivesacrowd Tue 16-Apr-13 21:44:41

I love childminding because.....
I'm my own boss
I get to play with babies all day
When the weathers even vaguely ok I can hit the park, feed the ducks and hope for rain so we have to shelter in the cafe
Glitter everywhere at Christmas
I'm around for my own kids
The kids I look after are all very very funny in very very different ways

And when I've had enough they go home grin

Littlefish Tue 16-Apr-13 21:51:15

I think you need go have another discussion with her and tell her that as she is unable to collect on time in spite of her assurances, then her contract is being extended by x minutes per day. Alternatively, you could charge her a late fee of £x per 10 minutes. She is absolutely taking the piss! Also, as a parent who used a lovely childminder for 4 years, I would never have booked classes for my dd if there were other children who would be affected.

lukymum Tue 16-Apr-13 22:34:17

Ohhhhh dear. I feel you, especially since I'm not much fun for my DS at end of day.

I just love the flexibility of the job, the laughter of the kids. (Let's forget the whinging etc). Helping them learn the most basic things in life.

I do think you should advertise and see if there are any parents out there who need your service. Have a chat with mum, just sit her down and clarify a few things. Don't give her a choice about when she pays until, show her the register as proof of how often she's late to verify why you are taking these steps.

I get down sometimes, as is natural, but I always think if I worked outside the home I wouldn't see my child anyway. So this way I get to be more involved without the worry of who's taking care of him. And the fact that you adore the kids is such a good sign. The kids I look after keep me going, they are so lovely.

Just remind yourself you're the boss, be polite but firm. Look for other families and if you get any interest ........................

FuckOffMrBloom Wed 17-Apr-13 09:08:40

Thanks all. I'm feeling a lot brighter about it all today, I think yesterday was just A Day Of It.

Sitting snuggling with DS2 after the school run now, waiting for my next mindee to be dropped off, enjoying the lull, and then we're going to toddler gymnastics which is always fun.

I do love my job. I just feel so ground down with the negatives sometimes though, I need to really focus on the bits I love and let awkward parents just wash over me.


FuckOffMrBloom Wed 17-Apr-13 17:37:54

Well back to feeling shit again. Mindees were picked up half an hour late again, the toddler was howling which I assumed was because I was dishing up dinner in the kitchen (she is v clingy and hates having the gate shut). I was obviously trying to placate her but also trying to juggle plates and food.

I handed them both over and said goodbye. Sat down to dinner with the five other children here. The phone rang and it was the mum ringing to tell me off (!) because the reason the little one was upset was because she had pooed and had 'obviously been sat in it for hours'. Er, no, I changed her at 3.30 after the school run so at the very very most it was an hour and a half, she was cuddled up on my lap before I did dinner and I'm fairly sure she hadn't pooed then. Anyway, I said, ;oh poor little thing, hope she's ok' and the mum said, well, she hasn't been sore all over the holidays (at home) and now she's back with you she's sore again.

I honestly can't cope with this. I am constantly under criticism and fire. Never mind the fact, as DH has just said, that if she was on fucking time this wouldn't have happened. And fgs why phone me as soon as she got home, when she knows I still have a houseful.

I am now hiding in the front room crying ffs while the older kids finish dinner.

I am useless at this.

childminder90210 Wed 17-Apr-13 21:44:38

You're not useless some parents just expect too much from CMs x

SouthernPolish Mon 22-Apr-13 21:55:47

Advertise / search for a replacement for the income and give her notice. You will feel so much better for it. Take control. Big Hug. I have been there... x

MOTduesoon Tue 23-Apr-13 06:48:28

Give notice at pick up time. If she were the one to give notice then you'd cope. Just get rid.

Flisspaps Tue 23-Apr-13 07:36:53

Implement a late fees policy. Use it. I charge £5 per 15 minutes, with a minimum £5.00 as soon as the clock goes over the contracted time.

Point out to the parent that you're very sorry that the child had a dirty nappy, reiterate that you changed her at 3.30 and then had her on your lap and didn't smell it, and that perhaps if she had been on time then she could have changed the nappy half an hour sooner herself.

SouthernPolish Tue 23-Apr-13 10:47:43

How are you doing OP? x

FuckOffMrBloom Tue 23-Apr-13 12:35:48

Hello! Thank you for asking.

I'm ok, I've done a lot of thinking and talking over the weekend and I think we might be coming to the end of CMing, I've been doing it for five years now and I think that it may have had its day.

I think I've decided to wind the business up and in September start going out to work. Since I sort of decided that I've felt a massive weight off me, so I think it's the right thing to do.

NOthing's set in stone yet and I may well change my mind, but I think for me the cons of the job have started to outweigh the pros, so I'll leave before I get really disillusioned with it.


ReetPetit Tue 23-Apr-13 13:05:15

i think you are right op. I am feeling the same way - parents are getting more and more awful with each one i take on - and i want to get out before all the agency stuff comes in. amount of paperwork is a joke, as is amount of training courses we are meant to go on.
I am currently working out if it's financially viable but think i will stop at beginning of summer holidays, have summer with my two ds and they find a job in sept when my ds2 goes to school - yay! excited grin
good luck x

SouthernPolish Tue 23-Apr-13 18:20:44

Glad you are feeling better... just thought I'd throw this into the mix;
I was a CM from 2008 - 2011 and got very ground down (mainly by parents). I gave up, deregistered and spent about a year searching for other work. Could not find anything. I re-registered in January (had to do ALL my training again as post Sept 2012). But, this time around I'm enjoying it much more. What is different?: I am now completely business-minded about who I take on and how things work. Any previous serious issues were about parents NOT children. I learned from past mistakes. So far so good.

I hate to be a doom-merchant but there are not many jobs out there :-(
Would advise looking for a job before winding down completely, or maybe doing a bit of both? I do a different job on a Monday, in an office with adults (feels like a day off - heck! I even get a lunch break!!!)

I know the news is bad and Truss, Gove & Wilshaw are complete Fuckwits meddling with childcare... But it isn't over yet - and I'm not going down without a fight!!!!

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