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Some advice needed,possible cm concerns.

(9 Posts)
curlywurlycremeegg Sun 31-Mar-13 10:19:26

DS4 started with a cm when he started school nurserypart time, they took/collected him for three days a week,my other dcs were in the before/after school club. My childminder became very ill suddenly and was no longer able to cm. Around the same time school closed their before/after school club. Someoneclose to my cm offered to provide a cm service for DS4 and whilst she wasn't a registered cm se was taking steps to register and had other experiece that made me feel she would be suitable.
I have had no real concerns aboout her care for DS4, except when DS4 let slip that he had been given a lift home from nursery in a friends car and I am more than sure a car seat was not involved, however I probably foolishly let that slip as a one off.
She has offered to have the ther children after school but we had managed by juggling flexi hours. However I neede some care over the Easter holidays and she offered. She has had 3 of my DC for full days and a few things have concerend me.
My main concern came about when the children were talking about what they had done that day and DC 2 suddenlt said "shh, CM said we were not to twll mum and dad about that". We managed to work out that it was about them fighting and one f them beeing sent out of the room to sit in the hall. However the use of that languauge concerned us and I am now unsure if I can trust someone who has used this.
The children also seem to have watched a lot of television, 2 or 3 films a day and this time seems to have been unsupervised, when DH went to collect the DC early he said they were sat watching a film and the CMs laptop was open in the other room with facebook up on screen. I am aware she wasn't in the room when the fighting took place and had asked her child who was telling the truth about the incident before she made her judgement of who to punish.
Obviously I have only had the DCs version of events so really need to speak to the cm, however if anyone has any thoughts on this matter that help me clarify my feelings, or suggestions of how to manage the conversation with her then plaese post.
I am off ut with the DC for a few hours so not ignoring any posts in the meantime. TIA.

AgentProvocateur Sun 31-Mar-13 10:28:55

Well, she's not a CM, is she? She's a friend of someone you know, who hasn't been registered, trained or CRB checked.

I think it's probably some sort of offence to offer paid childcare without registering, so I'd cut my losses and find someone who is registered, or else shuffle your hours as you previously did.

I don't really think you've got a leg to stand on. Quite frankly, if I had three extra DC in the holidays, I'd stick them in front of a film too.

moogy1a Sun 31-Mar-13 11:03:57

Any chance you could change the title to " concerns about complete stranger who isn't registered who I allow to look after my children".
If you want quality childcare, use a qualified childminder. if you're happy to use illegal childcare, then I don't think you can complain

ReetPetit Sun 31-Mar-13 11:51:39

gosh, i'm sorry op but you are being extremely foolish. if something happens to one of your dc you do not have a leg to stand on as you have chosen to use un registered childcare! hmm she is not a childminder but a mum who is wanting to earn a bit of cash and providing childcare illegally. you are also using that childcare knowing it is falling well below the standards required for registered childcare. I am always amazed the risks some people are prepared to take with their child to save a few quid. Sorry op but that is my honest opinion...

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 31-Mar-13 12:15:23

Well you can say that your children are reporting stuff to you that you want clarified but you are in a very weak position. This could be quite a difficult conversation, the person could well shrug and say so what, and BAM you have no comeback.

You have found out that your youngest child has been transported unsafely, maybe by someone without relevant insurance, the person you have entrusted the care of all your darling children to may not have training in first aid, they don't have much idea in the way of offering differentiated activities to suit your children's ages and stages, and offer poor supervision; no doubt she has no public liability insurance, or relevant car insurance. I shan't labour the point.

I know you are going to think fgs you CMs are a surly bunch, bah, I'm just trying to get help with an awkward sitch but really, your children are truly your most precious possessions, and I am sorry to hear that you have chosen to place them in sub-optimal care.

Do take steps to find registered care for your children, you'll be much happier, and so will your children.

curlywurlycremeegg Sun 31-Mar-13 13:19:05

Sorry I proably shouldn't have used the word cm as I can see why it has annoyed some people. She is in the process of registering and as far as I was aware it isn't illegal to use unregistered childcare, that is a parent's choice, however having just googled it I realise that I was totally worng. I think a few assumptions have been made as I mentioned she isn't registered, i.e. that she doesn't have a crb check, and first aid certificate or any qualifications, she has, she just hasn't completed her registration yet. She also has other professional qualifications that I felt were appropiate and we certainly did not use her to save money but because she was someone we knew via our original childminder and our children knew her so were comfy with her. Obviously I have been stupid, I just wanted some advice on to how to tackle the situation.

What I was trying to ask, and maybe my first post didn't word it well, was how can I tackle this situation and do you think I should actually just speak to her about it or just say it isn't working out and leave it?

Tanith Sun 31-Mar-13 14:03:34

The trouble is, there's not much you can do other than accept the situation or remove your kids. She may be intending to register at some point but that's irrelevant: she's not registered now.

You don't say how she came by her other qualifications. However, it's quite likely to have been a different job to childminding, involving quite different responsibilities. Was she ever in sole charge of children, for example?

Has she given you any indication of when she's likely to complete registration? Have you checked her training certificates and her home for yourself? OFSTED would normally do this: if she's not registered, you have to do it yourself.

Personally, whether she's going to bother completing registration or not, I wouldn't trust her in any capacity. She's ignoring her legal obligation to be registered; she's ignored car safety laws; she's telling your kids to keep secrets from you. What else is there that you don't know about?

minderjinx Sun 31-Mar-13 16:18:45

I wouldn't leave my children with someone who is knowingly willing to flout the law (about registration, about car seats...what else???). That does not suggest to me that she is a responsible or honest person, and if you let this go on you are colluding with it. As thers have said, you are really in no position to criticise her practice as she should not be practicing, and you now know that.

ReetPetit Sun 31-Mar-13 17:51:51

i suppose curlywurly, you would have to treat it as though your dc were going to someone's house as a favour. would you question tv watching etc or would you just not send them again. personally, i would say that as she is not registered, she is not having to follow any regulations and has no governing body and you are not employing her as a nanny so can not dictate how she works... she is basically a mum working illegally from her own home. the law is there to protect parents and their children and as someone paying an unregistered person to work from their own home you are outside the law, so if i were you, i would cut my losses and not send them back.

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