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Nanny left child in car

(10 Posts)
SeratoninIsMyFriend Wed 27-Mar-13 09:45:10

Just dropped Dd at school and my neighbour said that when the nanny picked Dd up from school yesterday, she had left Ds in the car on the road outside school, and was about 15 mins in all... Neighbour and another mum were waiting in their cars so could see he was unconcerned, but then had to walk into school grounds and the kids came out a bit late so he was totally unsupervised for about 5 mins.

The other mums didn't want to interfere but felt I should know.

Tomorrow is the nanny's last day with us as it was a temp contract; she came from a nursery and the children are very comfortable with her. But I'm very uncomfortable with this: I need to speak to her but wanted to get a check of what the general consensus is on how bad it is and how to put it to her - I'm not always good at phrasing things under pressure!

Fwiw, car is out of sight on road in a quiet residential road, I don't know if she locked it or not, and she is 25 and expecting her first baby... Other mums said she didn't seem to think it would have been a problem as it was clear to them all what she'd done.

Opinions please! Thanks.

AngiBolen Wed 27-Mar-13 09:49:56

You need to tell her you know she did it, and it's unacceptable.

I know some mums do things like this, but it's not something you ever do when being paid to look after someone elses child.

elQuintoConyo Wed 27-Mar-13 09:58:45

Went on a picnic with family-in-law. DS, who can be a noisy bugger, fell asleep in the car on the way, DH suggested we let him continue sleeping in the car while we had our picnic as we'd be about ten metres away and could check on him every ten mintes or so. Otherwise he'd wake up being transferred into the pushchair and lunch would be manic. We couldn't see the car from where we were.
I went nuts! You don't ever leave a baby in a car (or small child). Ever. I felt a bit sheepish as it was DFil's suggestion but I hadn't heard him say it.

Op, point out that you know, but if she didn't know it was a bad thing to do, being young perhaps (although you'd think she'd had some kind of training?!), it's best she knows for her own dc.

AngiBolen Wed 27-Mar-13 10:05:01

25 isn't that young!

abbyfromoz Wed 27-Mar-13 10:12:12

Elquinto- 25 is not young. I had my DD at 25 and was old enough to know not to leave a child in a car. So being 'young' can't be an excuse.
I suggest you use the sandwich method- something I used during disciplinary meetings with staff.
It goes like this: start with something positive- the error - end on positive note.
So this could be- we have enjoyed your time with us- however something I have come to learn recently has concerned me very much (then go into incident and list why you feel it inappropriate)
Allow her to explain her version of events.
Then followed by- i would like to have a positive outcome from this be it simply you acknowledging my concerns or perhaps you learning from this so that we can move forward from here.
Any good?

SeratoninIsMyFriend Wed 27-Mar-13 13:26:36

Thank you all, particularly Abby with your approach - I have never managed anyone before so no techniques up my sleeve. I asked DD if DS normally stayed in the car or came into the playground, and she said he always stayed in the car sad but I haven't verified this with another mum. She also said he is always fine not crying when they get back. Am so disappointed in her, she's not perfect but the kids like her, and I thought her age and nursery training would mean she was pretty ok, but in some ways she's been useless... But we won't need a nanny again anyway so I don't need to worry too much. I just want her to know not to leave children in cars!!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 27-Mar-13 13:43:49

I occasionally leave dd2 in the car. If I'm dropping off or picking up dd1 and in a rush I leave dd2 locked in the car. It's in the school car park in full view of all the other parents, the gate to the school and the door to the preschool and I feel she is fine. I'm no longer than five minutes at the most and I usually give her my phone to play with and she's perfectly happy.

No way would I leave her locked in the car on the road though. If it wasn't as busy and overlooked as it is I wouldn't leave her in the car park either.

needstodiet Wed 27-Mar-13 16:05:19

A notice went around our school about two months ago warning against the dangers of leaving a child unattended in the car.

Parent had left sleeping baby to pop in for older child. Came back out to find a man trying to break into the car.

Doesn't bear thinking about. Not worth the risk.

You have to bring it up with her. Not only is she potentially putting future charges at risk, but, she is pregnant and could put her own baby at risk.

SeratoninIsMyFriend Wed 27-Mar-13 21:08:20

Talked to her, she said he was asleep when she left him so I just said, well in future best not to as the risks are too great and other parents would not want her to do it. She said ok and it was all ok. I didn't go on about it and it stayed a positive conversation so thanks for support!

RedRidingChops Sat 30-Mar-13 01:38:50

In my job I drive all three to a nursery for 2yo then school for 6yo, then home with 1yo. Boss tells me to leave the eldest and youngest together in the car just outside the nursery, literally 6 steps away and you hand the children over to staff just inside the door so less than 2 mins out of sight but it leaves me so uncomfortable! If I park even 2 spaces away I take all the kids in with me. Plus I spent ages debating whether to take all three with me when I paid for petrol- what's worse, leaving all (quite sensible!) children in the car, strapped in seats with doors locked, or getting them out and taking them across the forecourt. Imagine my relief when I found a garage with pay at the pump!

What I mean is, what she has been doing is unprofessional and needs to be brought up really.

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