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Grateful for views - is my nanny behaving unreasonably (long)?

(11 Posts)
greenspot Mon 25-Mar-13 12:57:03

finally found an afterschool nanny after a couple of false starts (first nanny left after a day having been offered a full time job; second nanny disappeared at Xmas for extended leave because her grandmother died, and never came back). This is to work Monday to Friday, from 3:30 to 7:30pm. Nanny3 then tells me after three weeks that her husband has an overseas contract and so she wants to drop her hours to Tues/Wed only. I say to her I want to keep her on, but I don't know if I can find somebody to cover those hours. I put an ad on Findababysitter and UK.Care looking for somebody to work Mon/Thurs/Friday. I tell her I've done this but if I don't get any answers shortly then I'll have to put the whole week up.

Then I see that she is also advertising to work Tues/Wed/Thurs (since I am being sent all new candidates who live close to me). Obviously if I find someone who can work the other days and then she leaves I am in the poo. Is she acting unreasonably - should I say to her I have seen her ad which makes me wonder why on earth I am trying to accomodate her reduced hours when she is planning to leave? Or is she just trying to cover her back and I should ignore it?

apologies this is very long!

DIYapprentice Mon 25-Mar-13 13:19:23

The fact that she told you after only 3 weeks and that she is currently advertising herself for just 3 days would lead me to suspect she had planned this the whole time. I would readvertise for all of the days, if it were me.

OutragedFromLeeds Mon 25-Mar-13 13:31:09

I'm a bit confused about the Thursday, why is she advertising for Thursday when she told you she can only do Tues/Weds?

I don't think she is being unreasonable to cover her back in case you let her go, she is being unreasonable to refuse to do the days you need 3 weeks into the job.

I can't see how it will benefit you or your children to have two different people doing the one job (although I suppose they could cover each other for illness). I would find one nanny to do all 5 days.

greenspot Mon 25-Mar-13 14:00:39

I suspect she has decided she would rather have the extra day but maybe before she was thinking of spending more time with her partner. It has been very hard trying to find somebody to do these hours as they are too much for a want-to-be part-timer and too short for a full time job.

Seb101 Mon 25-Mar-13 15:20:02

I don't think she's being unreasonable. She's seeing what else is out there incase you can't accommodate her. You've told her that if you can't find someone for the other days, you'll look for someone else to cover while week. She's putting the feelers out incase this happens. Perfectly reasonable. She doesn't want to be left without a job, the same as you don't want to be left without childcare. I'd suggest you do the same: advertise both, full week and just the few days and see what happens. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, your nanny isn't.

Seb101 Mon 25-Mar-13 15:20:41

I don't think she's being unreasonable. She's seeing what else is out there incase you can't accommodate her. You've told her that if you can't find someone for the other days, you'll look for someone else to cover while week. She's putting the feelers out incase this happens. Perfectly reasonable. She doesn't want to be left without a job, the same as you don't want to be left without childcare. I'd suggest you do the same: advertise both, full week and just the few days and see what happens. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, your nanny isn't.

AndBingoWasHisNameOh Mon 25-Mar-13 19:08:05

I'd bring it up to be honest and try and get some info out of her as to her intentions. YOu don't want to recruit someone for 3 days and find you then need to start again.

You could also rethink the whole thing. Perhaps advertising for nanny with own child who might be interested or can you offer more hours and add in some cooking/housekeeping?

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 25-Mar-13 19:10:44

personally i would re advertise for a 5 day after school nanny, accepting a job then 3 weeks into saying she only wants to do 40% of the hours isnt on

and the nanny is just covering her own back, but dont get why she is looking for 3 days but wants to do only 2 with you hmm

greenspot Mon 25-Mar-13 21:29:24

nannies with their own kids normally want to go home before 7:30pm (as they are normally toddlers not bound to the school run) so I've found this isn't the most attractive post for them. I am going to bring it up with her as it's probably best it is all in the open!

PowerPants Mon 25-Mar-13 22:32:23

Agree with Blondes. She is being unreasonable.

Dozer Tue 26-Mar-13 14:55:30

She is being unreasonable. Might you have more luck with advertising four days, eg Mon to Thurs, and covering Mondays or Fridays yourself or some other way? Eg as a teenager I used to pick to DC up at 3.45 pm two nights a week from their after school club and look after them, give them tea and bath them until that kind of time.

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