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Lazy childminder

(83 Posts)
brightpinkleggings Fri 08-Feb-13 12:59:30

There is a childminder in our village who is possibly the laziest person i know. She comes to toddlers/clubs, unloads the kids, sits on her bum and doesn't move all the time she is there. Apart from the odd 'don't do that Johnny', she ignores the kids, who end up seeking attention from others. It makes me so cross that she is classed as 'good' by ofsted. If she is this lazy at toddlers, what is she like at home?

RosieGirl Sat 04-May-13 13:31:08

CM's just can't win, can they? On some threads there is CM bashing about how children are not stimulated, looked after properly, the constant bitching about "if I pay some to care for my child, I expect them to be paying 100% attention to my child, how dare they have a cup if tea, talk to other adults, while I am paying her/him". Then on the other hand, complaints about our charging policies, how expensive we are, how it would be better to have "basic" childcare, so there could be somewhere or leave children in a warm, loving, homely environment, without all these silly rules....

OP, if it worries you enough to put it on a public forum, why not address it yourself. An "excuse me x could you help me do something with these children as I could do with another pair of hands" or as others have said speak to you local DO.

Lovingcarenanny Sat 04-May-13 10:18:15

With many years of childminding behind me I have to say I was a more pro-active childminder, I preferred to sit on the carpet at the children's level so the babies and toddlers could come to me for cuddles or to show me a toy/tell me something etc...they would then crawl/toddle off happily on their own. I would go and help if they needed it without 'helicoptering' or following them around. I could still socialise and talk to other cm's but felt I was more accessible to my little ones without being on top of them iyswim.

Many cm's would sit around the edge of the room drinking hot drinks, chatting without even looking at their mindees, looking at their phones lol and shouting across the room but hey ho we're all different and I did truly feel sorry for some of the little ones.

I totally agree that children need to learn to play independently without constant adult attention but it's a sad fact that there are some cm's who are not suited to the job and others who are brilliant :-)

anewyear Sat 04-May-13 08:36:44

I only have After Schoolers (6,7,8 & 11) as I work in Pre School during the day.
When we come in, the boys disappear in to the lounge and the T.V goes, on the girls tend to go to the dining room, where I have my craft cuboard and find something they would like to do in there.
All the kids tend to wander back and forth from both rooms joining in if they wish.
I have plenty of board games, books etc
They all like Bingo and Twister, both very popular as is Scrable and Nab-It, they all join in when one of them decided to get these games out.
I brought a 'school set' for them to play 'schools' from Amazon which is very Popular too hmm

We have a snack around 4pm,
We also 'Bake' every few weeks.
I only do Tea on a Tuesday as 3 of them have activities to go to straight after they're picked up (5.15)

Homework and school reading books. I personally think thats the parents job, however if a child asks me to read a book with them, then yes of course I will, and the same with homework, But that very rarley gets taken out of their book bag tho grin

Just a small insight as to what happens in my setting after school.

Murjika Sat 04-May-13 07:35:18

Thank you very much for a very helpful post marypoppynsbag, I am not asking for baking and messy plays etc things which take a long time. I asked her to help him to read his school book, which takes about 5 minutes. She does not have any other kids there apart from her own 1-2 and her other half always seems to be at home. So I thought that was feasible. And she did not mind it at all. We are at good terms and I am a sensible parent understanding that everyone has to earn money and she would not be able to fill in that hour with other kid.
The reason why asked, was that I came across other childminders who for the same fee provide dinner and help kids with homework.
I want to increase hours with my CM but she can't do one of the days I asked so if I change to different childcare that would be the only reason.

MaryPoppinsBag Fri 03-May-13 21:28:23

She may not do the 'work' but she cannot fill that hour with another child. So that is why she charges it.
Travelling to pick up your DC will eat into that time that she apparently doesn't work.

CM is a business and most business people have a set idea of what they want to earn and charge accordingly.

You don't have to accept it, you might be able to move CM but I expect you'd be charged similar by another. Obviously you realise this and are cancelling classes.

Regarding what your DC does whilst he is there depends on how long he is there for after his club as to what she could fit in. I had grand ideas of baking and craft projects and the reality is there is little time between getting home and parents arriving. Baking takes too long and is too chaotic with 4-6 children. And craft projects are very messy and they no sooner start as I have to clear the table for tea!

At that time of day I have cleared up after my littlies in the day and don't want the mess TBH. My business my rules! The beauty of being self employed.

Kids love to just play any way!

I spent ages setting up a small world with my EYFS children the other day. They helped me set it up with natural materials from the garden and chose the animals for it. Played for 5 minutes with it and buggered off back to the tree swing - that the 3 year old had just mastered the previous day. Which I thought was brilliant because he'd learnt something new (it's a rope swing in my cherry tree and little ones do struggle with it). And my DS(4) learnt how to share it. They were 'just ' playing but they both achieved something!

Ask her if she intends to provide craft activities, now your DC will attend the after school clubs.


Murjika Fri 03-May-13 19:41:34

I have asked a question I am not judging anyone, just wanted an opinion.
When we started I said my son was attending clubs and CM was very happy with this. I never had childminder before and had no idea how it worked. It costs me more to pay for after school club so it's not about the money. I would have been happier if she explained like some of you did that it's a hassle and I would agree. I still agreed, but I don't believe in getting paid for work one does not do.
I will be cancelling clubs from next term anyway.

Fivesacrowd, the was a lot of discussn about what childminders do during the day and that's why I posted my question here.

fivesacrowd Fri 03-May-13 16:41:08

Why is this posted under a thread about a lazy childminder when you have a cm who is prepared to do 2 school runs to fit in with your dc's needs? Have you asked the cm what the afterschool routine is? I have days where we come home, have snack, do homework, play and boardgame and do a craft or baking activity. Today however, they got soaked on way home, devoured snack and now they're watching a movie while building towers out of wooden blocks and knocking them over. Their parents just want them to be happy, safe & secure. A good childminder is led by the needs of the children.
As for the lazy cm thread, I was at play training this week and we were advised to sit back and let children play, not interfere unless invited to by the child. Obviously if they need me I'm there, but you have to let them learn to play and interact and manage risk by themselves.

minderjinx Fri 03-May-13 16:11:48

I also wouldn't be happy to go back to collect a child at four, so I certainly wouldn't be offering a reduced rate for the extra hassle.

MaryPoppinsBag Fri 03-May-13 11:40:12

I'm a CM and charge a flat rate of £10 / child after school.
She is right to charge you from 3. Does she have to go home with other children she collects and then head back 30 mins after she got home to collect yours? Major ball ache and I would just say no.

By the time I get in at 3.40 the kids just want to play because they've been doing all day at school.

They have their tea at 4.30.

Then they play until their grown up comes some leave as early as 4.45-5pm. There there is very little time to do organised activity.

Besides playing together is important - building relationships, learning to share and cooperate.

What would you like to see you CM do?

Fightlikeagirl Fri 03-May-13 11:39:34

Totally agree with poster above.
I would charge from finish of school and I don't do structured activities with my after school children. Maybe a bit of painting or junk modelling if they want to but most of the time they want to either have a play in the garden to let off steam or have fun building with the lego.

doughnut44 Fri 03-May-13 07:04:55

with regards to paying from 3pm -yes definitely. you are using an after school place. If school finishes at 3 that's when you start paying.
What would you like to see your child do at the minders? I would be happy with a play and a snack. They have had structure all day at school and most likely need a break imo x

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 03-May-13 00:54:42

It would be best to start a new thread rather than bring back an old one that has nothing to do with your question.

Murjika Fri 03-May-13 00:27:26

What do you think good childminder should provide, I am parent, my son gets picked by CM after school 3pm and some days 4 pm as he does after school club, my CM asked me pay from 3pm regardless what time she picks him up, I agreed but not sure if that's right way forward?
Also whenever I asked my son what he did at CM he says played, and had a snack.
Ism not sure if I should be happy with the care she provides or not, please advice.

morescribbles Sat 09-Feb-13 20:42:46

When I started childminding I used to interact a huge amount with my mindees at groups but found that it made my mindees rely on me far too much. The purpose of toddler groups is to help children to interact with their peer group, to work with their personal, social and emotional development. There are craft activities and areas that we can join the children to assist them and observe them at play. I look after my mindees for ten hours in a day and our home based play is very structured. When I have mindees with me who are confident enough to enjoy independent play alongside and with other children I will sit aside and feel a pride in their confidence and security in their surroundings and social interractions. It is important for the children to have their own uninterrupted time with other children to prepare them for social skills at nursery. Certainly at the groups i go to childminders will help where help is needed but will stand back and supervise play allowing the children their own time too. i can't comment on the cm in question but it worries me that parents may see it as negative that we don't spend all our time alongside children. They need to learn how to make friends. One of my mindees received a party invitation from a little boy at group. He was do shy initially. It has taken a long time and a lot of work to get him to the point he could leave my side and make friends. His parents were so pleased. I love watching him race into the groups now, wanting to play with other children without a concerned look in my direction. Again I can't be sure with the cm in question but please don't judge cm for sitting down and talking. We share ideas, discuss methods of dealing with situations and yes, sometimes just talk but we are working and I don't consider toddler groups a break!!

ReetPetit Sat 09-Feb-13 20:42:17

personally,i couldn't bear to be in all day! i do lots with my mindees and like to do messy activities which are much more difficult and messier wink at home. I also do use groups as a social outlet for me as otherwise i would go stir crazy.
however, i do know of cms who do nothing with their mindees and don't go to groups. i am really not saying this is true of all cms who stay at home but i do know of people who go home, clean, cook and stick mindees in front of tv. not good but easily done and how would anyone know if you are not visible. This is all I was saying. this cm may be (fairly) lazy and in which case you should challenge her if you feel she is truly neglectful when at group but at least her mindees are getting out to groups and she is putting in the effort of getting their 4 days a week!!

HSMMaCM Sat 09-Feb-13 20:25:57

It's harder to stay at home if you are working properly, but it's easier to stay home if you just shut the children in a room with cbeebies all day.

brightpinkleggings Sat 09-Feb-13 19:35:57

Why is it easier to stay at home than go toddlers? I totally disagree.

ReetPetit Sat 09-Feb-13 17:32:54

Flisspaps, if you re read what i have written, i have actually said if these posts are accurate then she is lazy but if she was REALLY lazy she wouldn't go to groups.

I am not saying all cms who don't go to groups are lazy but I do think it shows a certain amount of inititiave and energy to even go to 4 groups a week as this cm apparently does hmm

OutragedFromLeeds Sat 09-Feb-13 15:48:10

knackered even if the childminder does sit down for the whole 2 hours and only says 'don't do that Johnny' she is not having a break. She is maybe having an easier than normal 2 hours, but she isn't on a break from work. She is at playgroup, watching the children. When you have a break from work is it in the surgery seeing to patients?

I think the childminder is being defended here because, apart from dripfeeding, mumsnet doesn't like judgypants. For the OP to know exactly what this childminder does and says for 2 hours and to also know what her mindees are doing/saying/needing for 2 hours she must pay absolutely no attention to her own charges and just sit (or stand) and watch for 2 hours. This is very unlikely. What has probably happened is that the OP has seen this childminder and her charges at playgroup, hitched her judgypants up into her arse crack, and decided based on little bits of observation (interrupted by dealing with her own charges of course) over a short period of time that this childminder is lazy and isn't doing a good job for her mindees.

No one needs that kind of judging and the OP should mind her own business.

HSMMaCM Sat 09-Feb-13 15:26:32

Mrscupcake23 - I didn't agree with everyone else grin.

Flisspaps- staying at home does definitely not imply you're lazy, but a lazy CM might well stay at home all day.

Flisspaps Sat 09-Feb-13 15:06:02

reet that's the THIRD time on this thread that you've said this CM can't be lazy 'because she goes to groups'.

Attending groups is NOT an indicator of how hard working a CM is (or not). I don't do groups, but that doesn't make me any more or less 'lazy' than a CM who attends every group going.

ReetPetit Sat 09-Feb-13 11:32:45

i would be surprised if this cm really does sit for the whole 2 hours barking out orders at her mindees and not moving an inch. if that is the true situation then yes, she sounds lazy and should be challenged my one of the other cms in the group or whoever is running the group...
the op didn't say this origanally which is why i think people couldn't see the problem.
like i said before, yes, she sounds lazy BUT she is going to groups with them. if she was really, really lazy she wouldn't even go to groups.
i think if she is truly bad then you should say something op!

Mrscupcake23 Sat 09-Feb-13 10:43:22

I don't think bright pink has changed her story unless I am missing something. I do think if you are getting paid to look after someone else's child you should make more of an effort .( I was a bit more lazy with my own children than minded ones)

Not all childminders are brilliant,or nannies or doctors. There has been a couple of threads on childminders this week and you do all tend to jump in and stick together.

knackeredmother Sat 09-Feb-13 10:16:16

Reetpetit: I wouldn't expect any professional to take a 2 hour break. I'm not on my high horse at all, parents are paying for a service. No I don't get a break in my job but not do most professionals I know. I'm a doctor as you ask not that's it's relevant.

BoysAreLikeDogs Sat 09-Feb-13 10:15:23

brightpink, what folk are saying is that your opening post was grumbling about the CM sitting around and occasionally saying don't do that johnny to the children who are being attention-seeking with others, then you subsequently appeared to embellish it to the children pushing and shoving, after some posters said ''hmm not sure what the prob is''

drip-feeding of info, usually to try to get posters to change their minds, can really rile seasoned MNers [understatement]

any fwiw imo there IS a balance to be struck, between standing back and letting the children get on with learning to mix, to share, to take turns, to lead play, to follow play and being nearer, on hand, to intervene if necessary, depending on the ages and stages of the children in one's care that day. Sitting around on one's arse does not fall into either camp

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