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Disappointed with new nanny/housekeeper's news - here we go again(6 Posts)
I don't think I expect any practical answers to this one, I just need to get it off my chest and tell someone about our situation.
We have always had nannies since our first DC was little (both DH and I work) - the first for over 7 years and the second for almost 2, with some temp cover in between. With the DC older now we decided to give it a try having a nanny housekeeper when nanny two decided not to return after maternity leave (Nanny one moved away after having her own baby, although she worked with us, bringing baby in for about a year).
Nanny-housekeeper had been working out well, I thought...but DH told me this afternoon that, while I was away on business last week she told him that she thought she would look for something with more management involved (in the past she has run small businesses in the leisure/hospitality/catering sector as well as working for many years as a nanny).
She has only been with us just over four months and I feel really gutted that she is talking about moving on. Apparently she said she thought we ought to know, and that she intends to start looking in spring/summer. I am also annoyed that she hasn't thought about how a job working closely with children should be taken on with longer term intentions - I feel it's very tough on my kids to have to build a new relationship with another person in a carer role at home. When she took the job she seemed delighted with it (she had two other offers on the table) and told us how much it suited her circumstances. I guess she has found the role boring when the DC are in school and has made her decision on that basis but I am SO depressed at the thought of having to find someone else - and of having to introduce a new person to our family.
As I said, not expecting any practical comments or thoughts - just wanted to vent and try and help myself get it into perspective. It feels so awful having to look at doing this all over again.
Vent away... maybe there are other things going on in her life, you never really know what external pressures there are. Surprised she told you though, as getting another job may take some time, meanwhile you will now be considering your options and may decide that she isn't needed before she has found another job.
I don't think it's really that bad. Kids who have au pairs looking after them get used to a new one every year, they've had the consistency of one carer in their early years and I'm sure they can't be that bonded with someone who has looked after them after-school for 4 months.
I know it's annoying having to look for someone else, but ultimately she's been very honest and given you loads of notice. She's taken on a new type of job and doesn't like, it's fair enough that she moves on. There is no indication from what you've said that she took the job 'without long term intentions'.
"something with more management involved" ??
Ahaha, did she misunderstand what job she'd applied for?!
Maybe it's time to rethink your set up - do you really need a nanny, or could some combination of cleaner/childminder etc work?
Have to confess a bias in this area though, as by the end of our nanny's time, I'd had enough and was glad for it to come to an end
Thanks for responses, nice to know a few people stopped and read, and had a think about my issue.
No HEG, I don't think she misunderstood the job - I think it she liked us and our house more than the other two potential employers (she is always very enthusiastic about our house and how much she likes it - and she has a good relationship with our DC who I thinks he is genuinely fond of) but was choosing one of our roles to move on from having 2 families employ her on part time / temp basis. She was very clear that one of her drivers was having a "proper" job with paid holidays and so on. I am second guessing, but I get the impression that now she has that stability she has realised that the day to day reality of looking after our house on her own is a bit boring and she misses having the commerical challenge she's had in some of her roles in the past.
However, I don't think it will be easy for her to get the sort of role she talked about - and I am pretty sure the pay won't be as good.
Nick is right (as ever) we may need to get on and find a new candidate in a time frame that is driven by us, now that she has put her cards on the table. I am just dreading the time and effort I will need to give it - I travel a lot and when I have time to think about non-work stuff I feel that the first priority is time with the DC.
Still, I will have to get my head around it and start looking at the market again I guess.
By the way, Outraged, thansk for your post, it's a helpful one, made me feel a bit better.
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