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so unhappy at childminders

(8 Posts)
bumpwithlegs Fri 01-Feb-13 16:14:33

My 8month old started at his childminders after christmas. Due to the fact we moved just before Christmas he was only able to do a few settling in sessions of an hour at a time, but he was perfectly happy during these. However, as soon as he started going for full days [3 days a week] he has become very unhappy there. He cried for a large part of the day- I've had to go and pick him up a couple of times. This week we've reverted back to a settling in week and hes gone everyday for 2-3 hours. He has still cried everyday. He particularly doesn't like the other children there entering 'his space'. His childminder is lovely and he does like her- she can comfort him when distressed most of the time, but he cant cope if she isn't sitting with him all of the time [which is obviously difficult with 4 other children there and more after school]. Ive managed to change my work hours so he goes later in te day after his nap and for a shorted period of time, but Im not convinced this will make any difference.
I dont really know what to do and its really upsetting and worrying me. Should i persevere and will he get used to it eventually? Should I look for a different childminder who has less children? Giving up work isnt really an option, but would it be better if he was older? Any advice from anyone? Has anyone else experiences similar problems? Thanks

ReetPetit Fri 01-Feb-13 16:47:28

this doesn't sound great, i would be inclined to say cut your losses and move on. I couldn't cope with a baby i couldn't put down at all to be honest with other children to look after - is your childminder worried? do you think she will give notice?
out of interest, why has she got 4 other children there? hmm
you may find a different cm would suit him better where there are less children. or a nanny if you can afford one?
some children just don't do well in group situations.
i think it's worth visiting some other childminders to be honest.

Runoutofideas Fri 01-Feb-13 17:25:09

I would speak to some other childminders and see if you find one you like who has a smaller number of children. 5 is an awful lot - I don't take more than 3 little ones at a time, and won't even with the potential slackening of ratios which is in the air. He may just need a calmer environment. However good your childminder is, 5 children are going to be loud and pretty chaotic, I would think.

HSMM Fri 01-Feb-13 17:51:34

Most CMs will only have 3 children under 5. Your child is at a peak age for separation anxiety, so may well be clingy anywhere at the moment. If he calms when the CM pays him attention and she is happy to carry him, or play alongside him most of the day, then he will probably relax and settle in. With so many children it might well be hard for her to give him the attention he needs at the moment.

Talk to your CM and listen to your instincts. A good CM should not be calling you home from work for something as simple as a child needing a bit of extra attention.

ZuleikaD Fri 01-Feb-13 18:33:41

I'm also quite surprised that she called you home. I had a very clingy 8mo start with me last summer, but I just wore her in a sling until she was ok, and she's still with me and it's fine. It may be that your CM is feeling that she can't cope with him and you may be better off looking elsewhere.

ReetPetit Fri 01-Feb-13 18:58:39

how old are her other mindees? are they all there every day?

doughnut44 Fri 01-Feb-13 21:23:41

This is going to be a common problem when childminders CAN have 5 children.
I have a similar thing at the moment with one of my mindees but she has been poorly since I have had her - this week has been brilliant though, still not keen on sitting on her own but we will get there x x

Lostonthemoors Sun 03-Feb-13 00:07:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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