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Nannies - advice on mum insisting small 4 year old doesn't need a CARSEAT

(87 Posts)
DillyDallyDayDream Mon 21-Jan-13 10:34:10

Mum and dad boss are both insisting that there ds does not need a CARSEAT when I take him out in the car. He is tiny for his age (more 3 year old size) so I'm sure he needs a car seat preferably a high back booster.

In result of them not supplying one I've stopped doing any extra activities with him after school that involve a car journey - which they are not happy about

What can I do to ensure they provide a CARSEAT?

HSMM Fri 25-Jan-13 18:50:00

Firm and consistent and exciting places to go in the car. The child is hopefully old enough to understand that not cooperating means no exciting outing.

fieldfare Fri 25-Jan-13 18:22:51

But that beside the issue that the parents are clearly irresponsible and terribly ignorant!

fieldfare Fri 25-Jan-13 18:22:27

Did you remove his outer coat and tighten the straps as much as possible? There are clips you can buy cheaply that attach to the shoulder straps and goes across their chest so that they are meant to be unable to pull their arms through.

BertieBotts Fri 25-Jan-13 18:11:35

I don't think OP needs to be buying anything else!

I think you'll just have to persevere with it OP sorry to say. It's a PITA that they've managed to convince their child that he doesn't need a car seat as it's something you'll have to work on the other way, but it is now just that - a discipline issue. Children do quickly understand that rules are different in different places, you just have to be firm with it.

You could try some way of fixing the straps together so that he can't open them (I've heard of reins on the child and car seat straps fastened underneath the reins so he can't get arms through) but bear in mind that adding things to the car seat straps (like a houdini stop or home made version) can put extra pressure on them and won't have been tested - possibly as a temporary deterrent, e.g. when he stops trying to escape then he can go in with the normal straps AND he's allowed to undo the buckle when you stop but not until you say - any transgression and the extra safety device has to go back on.

DillyDallyDayDream Fri 25-Jan-13 17:53:24

Tried sticker chart - no luck
Tried bribery - no luck
Tried 5 point harness - he got out

Have told mum/dad that unless this issue is addressed I will not be taking either child out. Both children are now in correct carseats (at my expense)

MNPin2013 Thu 24-Jan-13 23:55:16

DillyDally you need a Kiddy Pro seat it is fitted with the adult seat belt but has a impact cushion that goes between child and belt and thus prevents child reaching the seat buckle!!!

BertieBotts Thu 24-Jan-13 22:46:13

It is very easy for a child to get themselves out of a 5 point harness if they want to, (they just need to suck in their tummy) so persuading them to stay in it is the key. I always have the rule with DS that if he doesn't have his seatbelt on properly then the car can't go. Or bribery can work wonders grin

homeaway Thu 24-Jan-13 16:12:08

ps maybe showing him how nicely his sister is sitting in her seat might help and making up a sticker/ reward chart for him might work ?

homeaway Thu 24-Jan-13 16:10:52

You are doing the right thing, you have to be consistent and you will win, it will be hard but you will. My dd managed to houdini herself out of five point belt, it took a huge amount of determination on her part to do it but it can be done smile. We were parked at the time and were not moving as we were about to set off... but that same child eventually learnt that she did not get her way by undoing her belt . The child has to learn that when he is in your car he follows your rules and that means being strapped in. He will accept it eventually.

sleeplessinderbyshire Wed 23-Jan-13 22:06:46

There's something called a houdini stop which is meant to be brilliant and keeping determined small people in a 5 point harness, might be worth a try...

cathpip Wed 23-Jan-13 18:47:47

Your boss'es need to have a word with mine, ones a hospital consultant and the other is a coroner, they could pass on some horrific stories about children not wearing seatbelts and not in correct carseats. How irresponsible of them...

DillyDallyDayDream Wed 23-Jan-13 18:40:33

Managed to borrow a rear facing maxi cosi pebble for baby so he's sorted

I put 4 year old in a britax prince which he climbed out of,took 10 mins to get him back in just for him to do it again

anewyear Wed 23-Jan-13 09:33:43

The seat belt thing, Im sure I saw on a thread either here or on another forum that theres a company, sorry cant remember their name, who make a gadget that you fit over the clunk click bit, so child cant un do it, would that help?

nextphase Wed 23-Jan-13 08:46:01

OK, I think you move the 4 yr old into the 1-2-3 seat.
Then you need to sort out the baby's travel. He's 10kg. Does he have an old 0+ infant carrier about? He should be good in that for several months (0+ is 13kg max weight), while you work on the parents to get the seating issues resolved (or you find another job, and hand in your notice).

Don't cave on this one, its not a difference of opinion, its a legal requirement.

deleted203 Tue 22-Jan-13 23:29:06

I don't see what the problem is. Simply state that it is against the law for him to travel in a car without a car seat and that you refuse to take him out without one. No one can insist you break the law because they don't agree with it!

BertieBotts Tue 22-Jan-13 23:26:24

Sorry - to clarify. The two links in my post, a Graco high backed booster and a Nania Teamtex seat - the Graco could be used for the older DC (assuming she weighs over 15kg) and the baby could remain legally in the group 1 seat she is in now. I believe this Graco seat is a good car seat, although it is cheap, it is sturdy and the belt guides are good.

The Nania Teamtex is a group 0/1/2 seat - the concept of this alone makes me a bit hmm and also the knowledge that Nania are the ultimate budget seat producers and appear to cut corners wherever they can. However, it's a seat which will enable the baby to be rear facing until... ah, in fact, I've just looked it up and the rear facing limit on this is only 10 kilos, which is roughly 22lbs, so no good for the baby.

OK so if you were wanting to get a seat for the baby and put the 4yo in the baby's current seat, then you're looking at an infant carrier kind of seat, and it looks like the cheapest ones are pretty shallow - which means baby is likely to outgrow in height/length well before you're happy for the 4yo to go without a car seat. This mothercare one is probably the cheapest you'll find an adequately big one. (On offer ATM until 13 Feb)

BertieBotts Tue 22-Jan-13 23:18:58

The second link - the Nania teamtex. I'm not convinced on the safety of those seats but it would presumably be better than a forward facing seat if the baby is tiny.

DillyDallyDayDream Tue 22-Jan-13 23:08:44

Which one can be rear facing for baby

BertieBotts Tue 22-Jan-13 23:05:29

Yes you're absolutely right they should be supplied.

However I think you have two choices here. Buy your own car seat, or refuse to drive in the car. It's your responsibility as the driver, legally, to ensure that children are in the correct restraints.

If the baby is 22lbs then it is legal for them to travel in a group 1 seat (although it doesn't sound in any way ready for one!) but if the older one is the size of a 3 year old then they NEED to be in a high backed booster, possibly even a 5-point harness seat, depending on weight (15kg is the minimum weight for a high backed booster - they CANNOT legally be used when the child is below this weight)

It comes down to - are you willing to risk your job for the sake of a £25 car seat? This would do. Or even this although I'd go for the Graco personally, because I don't trust this brand. (But you could use this one rear facing for the baby and then the 123 for the 4yo so might be better)

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 22-Jan-13 22:55:09

I agree they should be supplied but your ignorant bosses think otherwise

Tbh I'm not sure I could work for a family that think so little of their child's safety sad

DillyDallyDayDream Tue 22-Jan-13 21:52:00

The carseats are an expense I can't afford at the moment. Hence why I'm reluctant to buy them - when they should be supplied

DillyDallyDayDream Tue 22-Jan-13 21:49:30

The carseats are an expense I can't afford at the moment. Hence why I'm reluctant to buy them - when they should be supplied

sleeplessinderbyshire Tue 22-Jan-13 21:14:39

If you aregoing to go out buying a seat why not put him in the 1-2-3 seat and get something more appropriate for the baby (eg britax first class which is not that expensive)

As a parent who has a nanny we have supplied a group 1 seat for exclusive use for our nanny to take 3 yr old out (I fitted it in her car and it is never removed so I know it is correctly fitted) and the baby is still in a babycarrier

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 22-Jan-13 19:52:34

agree a booster seat is just as dangerous as no seat if little - needs to be a back booster

DillyDallyDayDream Tue 22-Jan-13 19:52:10

I agree its unbelievable, baby i weights 22lb and is just over a year and in a 1-2-3 seat, which he slouches in, leans forward etc etc

I'm looking for one but none seem to be around. I've decided that I'm guna get one with a 5point harness so he can't get it undone!

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